Despite our best intentions, we went missing for two months. We apologize!

Let's worry about microbes cause that buff has been wrapped around Tarzan's you know what, have mercy because Sabrina has no boobs left, and drag ourselves past the One World finish line as we look to the horizon for the glory that is Survivor: Phillippines.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

Let's get excited about bacon in a BLT, assume we must all look our best lubed up, and have a moment of appreciation for how much Tarzan loves his wife. If your partner doesn't cry thinking about you existing on the same island, then maybe you gotta find someone new, know what I mean? May we all find our quantum entanglement.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

Congrats! We have made it to the merge of Survivor One World. Let's discuss a bad experience with a plastic surgeon, plan annihilation while laying in a state of repose, and explain Tribal Council dynamics to Jeff. And oh yeah, one last thing before you go..."No hard feelings, brother." "Hard feelings to you."

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

It does often feel like this season is where joy goes to die, doesn't it? Buckle up you bunch of knuckleheads, cause we are singing "My Name is Jonas," defending Monica against being called a peasant, and learning all about that gas in the cecum. Touché .

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

Gather your girls around so you can all not say "Go women!" as we dive into Nutsville, aka Survivor's 24th season ONE WORLD. One beach, two -zans, infinity dummies. Also, please please please, do not use vague terms when we are talking turkey.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

Gather your Family round, its the finale of Survivor's 23rd season: South Pacific! We are joined by the incredibly delightful Ethan Muckelbauer as we navigate Ozzy's Pleasure Dome, Sophie's House of Cards, and Coach's Realization He Was the Equivalent of a Young Girl.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum

Put on your tightest t-shirt and compliment a woman's earrings, it's time for episodes 10 through 13 of Survivor South Pacific. Kate and Caro are bored by Ozzy loving life alone on Redemption Island, bemused and amused by the idea of trading sperm, and are overjoyed by the powerful sexual attraction Rick has for his wife.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum.

Kate and Caro are becoming a legitamite force (according to Jeff), need to come back into the game for revenge (basically), and are also a common fear of dodgeball targets (aka POSFN).

But the real story is that we must finally say farewell to one of the shining stars of the season, and for that we are in mourning.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum.

Kate and Caro will walk on anyone's back, attempt to find ricochet rabbit's off switch, and will only be calling Coach by the name he was born with because it sure as heck wasn't Coach. Let's discuss Survivor South Pacific episodes 4 to 6, and we hope that your time here has helped your future modeling career.

See you in the Big Apple, fellow New Yorker!

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum.

Just imagine...us stepping out a helicoper, wind in our luscious long hair, ready to smack paint filled eggs on our hearts or in our strong hands. Survivor Rewind is back and it's time for Survivor South Pacific! Hide all your tattoos, call ego filled men "temporary" and speak your love poetry outloud with your eyes closed before any streneous activity.

About: Two new-ish, passionate Survivor fans discuss the 25-year old reality show from the very beginning. A fun stroll down memory lane for seasoned fans or a guide for fellow newcomers through a reality classic, all through the lens of two improvisers. Hosted by Kate Hopkins & Caroline McCallum.