Going back to my parents was both demoralizing and humiliating at 29 years old, but it was made all the worse by my father telling me that he knew I'd be 'crawling back' to them someday. I wasn't there a matter of hours and I was already itching to leave. When I found out about how my cat had been treated one day while I was at work, I got to work immediately, hatching a plan. But I needed help to make it happen. Would I be able to recruit the help I needed? 

It seemed as though I might be destined for a 'do over' sort of life. Just about the time I started to find myself on my feet, the rug would be yanked out from beneath me. I still trusted too blindly, and when something seemed too good to be true, it usually turned out to be exactly that. When I lost my 6 figure income job I was never qualified to do and ended up in retail, I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to me. Then, after adopting a kitten, the man I was engaged to marry told me that I needed to find somewhere else to go. 

Naomi wanted me to talk more about how I reunited with Richard, but instead I became sidetracked with wanting to talk about how I escaped a different abusive relationship. Talking about my second escape from Bill became more easy to talk about than Richard because of the type of abuse used. Naomi tried to reign me back in but I still just wasn't ready to talk about the horrors more recent. Diary entries from 2006 surfaced to complete this chapter, reiterating word for word what I was thinking, feeling and doing to manage my life while under the misguided control of someone who claimed to have loved me. 

I loved Chris with all my heart, but things went sideways much faster than I could have predicted. Something I don't discuss in this episode is that his mother also accused me of having an affair and the two of them conspired to leave her husband and me behind, the two of them disappearing together. I didn't wait for that to happen. 

I found the world of online dating to be much more interesting than the neglectful relationship I left Arkansas for. In a single day I met both Richard and my next ex-husband (who left a negative review on "Custom Justice" on Amazon. I guess he didn't like the truth being told. That comes out in a future episode.) This one is pretty short and sweet, but that's perfect for me as I'm recovering from my thyroid biopsy. 

Florida turned out to be a nightmare. While this chapter is only a brief overview of my time there, the book "Detailed Pieces of a Shattered Dream" does go into a lot more detail of that time. I was tricked, lied to, abandoned by family, homeless, flea infested, jobless, threatened, sold, raped and beaten during that time. I do glaze over the truly brutal stuff so it's not quite as horrendous as it could be, but the other book does talk about more of those details. I've been told multiple times that "Detailed Pieces" is actually a real life thriller. 

Moving from a big city to a tiny town of 163 people is a culture shock. Finding out I couldn't stand my husband was even harder. Thankfully I had a horse farm to get lost on, and a drivers license to anywhere. 

I'd already moved so much around the state of Arizona that I knew it was time for some fresh scenery. Convincing a man twice my age having a midlife crisis to marry me was far easier than I could have imagined. 

When someone steps up to 'save' you from harm, they can't always be trusted. The ability to save you may just have been a well orchestrated catastrophe they designed specifically to make you beholden to them.