Swordboys - Cut x Cut

With Connor MacLeod happily retired to the highlands, the Swordboys flip the channels on their televisions to discover "Hey, Beastmaster's On." They soon are pulled into the kingdom of Aruk, where a baby destined to murder the high priest is saved from sacrifice to the god AR by an Emurite villager. The baby grows into the well-oiled musclebound DAR, who has the power to communicate with the animals! Join the Swordboys as we learn about the origins of the story, the interference with production, King Zed's wife's contribution to space travel, turkey vulture method acting, butterwitches, bovine surrogacy, David Carradine's ex-wife, and a good boy named Toto...er Todo. Runtime (00:00:00 - 00:20:59)

The Swordboys conclude their discussion of Highlander and this cut is one long swordfight! Connor MacLeod and The Kurgan finally face off in the ultimate duel for The Prize! Connor’s head explodes! The Kurgan shows respect for a fellow swordboy! Sean Connery sends one last bit of advice from his bathroom! And Brenda surprises us with a new voice talent! If this is the first time you’ve checked out our podcast, well “heh heh heh heh heh….what kept you?” Movie Timestamp: 01:42:08 - 01:56:38

Next up: The Beastmaster (1982)

The Swordboys delicately break down a classic 80s love scene before Connor takes his new girlfriend to the zoo. But we learn that love is a distraction as Connor is off his game and Brenda ends up getting the worst tour of New York, New York ever! Mamma mia! Movie Timestamp: 01:32:54 - 01:42:08

The Swordboys discover that one of them is related to a character in this movie! Meanwhile, in the Hall of Records, Brenda discovers that Russell Nash’s past is full of dead babies! Moran sees his retirement looming as he is heckled by a heroic hot dog vendor. And the Kurgan, after bullying Nien Numb, makes the hammer fall on two more Star Wars heroes, before trying out a new disguise on holy ground. Happy Halloween! Movie Timestamp: 01:16:35 - 01:32:54

We answer our listeners questions as well as swords in the news! Clang Clang!

The Swordboys applaud Connor MacLeod for somehow managing to get an angry Brenda to invite him over to her place for a homecooked meal, but he messes it up by being just a bit too creepy. But an immortal’s dating life isn’t all that this cut is about. The past is full of Connor’s secrets - saving Rachel from a Nazi named Jack, going blind in Boston Common, and, sadly, watching his bonny Heather die of old age. Who wants to live forever anyway? Movie Timestamp: 00:59:11 - 01:16:35

The Swordboys plunge into the murky depths of a fish tank as well as a Scottish loch, when Connor’s new friend Ramirez puts him through a montage of underwater cackling, uncooperative stags, and, of course, mountaintop sword training! But, as much as he has prepared Connor, will Ramirez be able to face the Kurgan himself? Movie Timestamp: 40:48-59:11

Grab your lute and hide your loot! The Swordboys are doing a special episode “there can be only one” of - to talk about the new movie “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves”, better known as DADHAT The Motion Picture! If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t pull out your invisibility amulet yet! We’ve got a spoiler free segment (00:01-15:00) up top before we head into the Underdark! Hold on to your potatoes!

The Swordboys are on the case with Brenda (honorary Swordboy) as she runs into a creepy Russell Nash at a bar and ends up in the middle of a duel at a pipe factory! And back in 1536, Connor MacLeod is betrayed by Kate, but his muck and muscle is just the way that his new love likes it! But, as he is rolling with Heather in the heather, he is rudely interrupted by a Spanish peacock and something called “the Quickening”! Movie Timestamp: 00:26:10 - 00:40:48

The Swordboys step back in time to cheer on Clan MacLeod as they battle the Brendan Frasers in 1536 Scotland. A Dark Knight arrives who, by means of impalement, causes a rift between the MacLeods and Connor’s sweet wife, Kate. Meanwhile, in 1986, a very wet Russell Nash deals with police harassment while Victor Kruger checks in to the Nien Nunb Hotel, where one can get their butt spanked. Movie timestamp: 00:11:16 - 00:26:10