Do you feel stuck in your life right now?

Are you wondering what is your life purpose or if you are on the right path?

Sometimes we feel we are playing small or not on the "right track", and other times, we may feel we are going through life in motion, but not exactly present or becoming the best version of ourselves.

If any of these describe your current state of mind or feeling, then this interview may be a great pick-me-up to energise you and give you some clarity that you need.

I interviewed Terry Kerr a while back, but our conversation is timeless and I have no doubt the content applies to us many times in life.

Teri Kerr is an ICF certified Executive Coach through Royal Roads University and a graduate of the Purpose Project. She lives in Victoria BC with her husband Jeff, a revolving door of teenagers, her beloved golden mountain dog Indy, and a one-eyed cat named Tallie.

You can connect with Teri via her website: https://unstuckduck.ca/

Feeling you may like give coaching a go? You can find out more about personal coaching with Sze Wing here. Achieving a goal or solving a problem is ONLY the by-product or “side-effects” of coaching. The magic is in your own discovery about yourself, a deeper awareness about your strengths & desires, and knowing what strategy actually works for you going forward in life.

Interview Highlights:

* The idea of "Unstuck Duck" - helping women to get out of their corporate job into entrepreneurship* From Super Busy Mum to the journey of Surviving Cancer* "Be More You" - why bringing more joy  and fulfilment into your life is so important* Trying to fit in or stepping into others' shoes may make us forget who we are* We don't need to go through life with a "elbows up" a power through approach - sometimes it works better for us if we can soften instead of hardening our exterior to approach our life* Be aware when we start to go through life in motion, but not really present in it, we may lose touch with who we are or our spouse/partner* How to cultivate a sense of awareness to become more conscious in our life* Ways to spot red flags when we are disconnected from our loved ones* How do you want to be remembered - write your own eulogy* Changing Lane: Start with reflecting on how life is working out (or not) and then creating new habits and experiences* We don't have a choice of what happens to us, but we have a choice of how we react to it and move forward through it.* How do you want your next 30 years to look like?* Playing Big - your greatness lies in the small day-to-day, moment-by-moment decisions. You have a choice in every moment, how you think, feel and act base on who you want to be now and in the future.* Living on purpose is a muscle that needs to be trained and exercised regularly.* Living life is like collecting data, one step at a time, to figure it all out* Remember other people's opinion or expectation is just theirs, you need to do you and know what works for you instead of trying to please everyone.* Why we need to be aware not to get too attached to our stories, or to be right.

Video

https://youtu.be/iQYcYTElQOk

Transcript

Sze Wing: Hi everyone today. I'm really excited to talk to my new friend - Terry Kerr and what's so special about today's interview is that we just m...

I am super thrilled to release this podcast episode as marks the number 100 episodes of my #ConversationsThatMatter podcast. My guest in this episode is Rebecca Barrett, my yoga teacher who has completely changed my attitude towards yin yoga. I started her classes just 6 weeks after I gave birth to my second child (baby Noah) and I absolutely love her style of teaching, which always involves an aspect of yogic philosophy in the mix. If you are interested to know more about yoga, how it helps us to connect our body and mind, and perhaps most importantly, how to be a life long preparer for whatever comes in life, you'd love this episode!

Highlights

* Sometimes when you meditate or when you practise mindfulness, it's like you're preparing yourself for the worst day of your life. You're preparing yourself for these hard times when they happen, be it COVID or personal circumstances. It is about being a "life-long preparer".

* The word yoga means union or to yoke. It is connecting the mental and the physical. So by use of the breath, you're connecting your mind with your body.

* Yogic philosophy, storytelling and why it is so powerful in a Yoga Calm class

* Yoga on a micro-level is the "here and now" on your body, and on a macro-level, it is about how it relates to our life and mind.

* Learning how to be comfortable by being in the uncomfortable space (both body and mind) i.e. The practice of discomfort and just being okay with that.

*  We're all looking for what makes us happy, and we're all trying to avoid suffering. But we often have different ideas of what's going to make us happy when compare to reality.

* The tension between "just push a little harder" and "letting go", when to stop pushing but releasing the tension, to surrender - that's the art of balancing. (both in holding a pose and in life!)

* We often store different emotions and memories in our body. And so by coming into difficult yoga poses, it can help those emotions kind of move through us because it's all about mindfulness and self-observation.

* You don't have to believe all of your thoughts. Your thoughts are not facts. You can just choose what you want to do with your thoughts.

* What if every single thing that is happening to us is for our spiritual awakening? So everything, in a way, is a lesson to help us to get to where we are meant to be.

* Spirituality and productivity are not mutually exclusive, in fact, with a clearer mind with better focus, we can accomplish more things and be better at doing them!

* Intentions for 2021: Acceptance and letting go of control, not thinking how things could be different or how to fix things but appreciating what we already have or things are already here.

If you would like to know more about Rebecca and her yoga classes, you can find her on the following social media handles: Facebook Instagram

At the time of recording this episode (2021), she teaches at BodyMindLife, Be One Yoga and FitnessPl...

If you are a multi-passionate person like me, someone who has several deep curiosities or interests in life, then staying in your lane will be challenging.

To feel fulfilled, we must tend to our inner desire, but where is the time? Or further to that, how can we do it all? How can we channel our creativity fully?

Perhaps you don't consider yourself as a multi-passionate person but somehow you feel your life is stagnated or "stuck". Then, you may also want to look at where are you expressing your creativity, if at all.

What I've found is that when we get stressed in any area of our life, be it about work or family responsibilities, more often than not, we turn to things that can temporarily distract us from the overwhelming situation. The common thing most of us do is to scroll through our social media feeds or check out the news. Both can easily suck up all our spare time and fill up the tiny gaps in our life.

As a result, there is no time or space for us to really dig deep or sit with the uncomfortable feelings about what is really going on in our life. Life seems so busy but we may not necessarily feel fulfilled or living with a clear purpose.

We may be doing a lot of things, but they don't necessarily matter all that much.

To know what really matters or bring meaning to our life, we actually need to face the things we try to avoid.  You may have guessed it by now - yes, we need to dip deeper and sit with those uncomfortable feelings.  They can teach us what we need to know.

Stillness Is The Key

When we get still, the chatter in our mind gets louder but we also become more aware that they are in fact, chatter. They are thoughts that may not be true or important.  From there, we are one step closer to realise what matters and need our attention. To become more self-aware and listen to our inner being are part of engaging with our feminine energy.

Feminine energy emphasis on being intuitive, adaptive, receptive, reflective and creative.  When we become more aware and conscious, next is about harnessing the practice.

For this week's podcast, I would like to focus on two key elements in embracing our feminine energy.

Creativity

When we are deliberate about living and embracing our feminine energy, it is inevitable that we want to channel our creativity or expressing our inner potentials. It is like a flower that is destined to blossom.  You may feel drawn to draw, paint, dance, sing, write, make or innovate things, whichever creative avenue you choose, it acts as a conduit for us to express that creative energy. Not only it is vitalising for our spirit, but it also brings us new insights about ourselves.

Carl Jung wrote about how our subconscious always seeks ways to express itself to our conscious mind.

There is so much literature out there to support the benefits of creative practices and creativity is one of the most talked-about and sort after skills in recruitment.

If you feel you need a lift for your mood, think about something you would like to do that is in some ways expressing your creative energy, no matter how unconventional that may be.

Self-Reflection

It goes without saying that self-reflection is an important part of personal growth. However, it is always easier if we have tools to give us structure or help us to create space for that purpose. That's why journaling, free-writing and meditation are great tools for that. It doesn't come easy for many of us to know how we really feel.

Personally,

I had all the plans to end 2020 with a couple of new posts, giveaways and special videos, but all went into the ditch when my husband and the little ones went under the weather. Then, we had to change our holiday plans and rebooked everything. We didn't get to see our parents this year, but we are just really grateful that they are all healthy and well.

This is what I have learned from this year. We need to keep our heads above the chaos and see from different perspectives. To understand what really matters, and so become more flexible and think outside of the box. This certainly helps us to forward faster and become more adaptive. Baby number two and the pandemic effectively have changed the way I work and think.

Another aspect I've learned is to stop pushing at all fronts, get better at prioritizing and allow myself to let go more. It reminds me of Tao's philosophy. Less forcing, more allowing. To feel the lightness of being, one must learn how to surrender in order to move freely. We practice how to get really focused yet relaxed at the same time. Holding the seemingly opposite in great balance.

It feels like I have started a new chapter, or entered a new age.

In fact, it is exactly what happened.

If you are interested in Astronomy or Astrology, you would have heard about all the buzz around the winter solstice (or summer solstice here in Southern Hemisphere) on the 21 December. This past solstice also marked the great conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn. What it means is that these two planets appear closest together in the sky, when Jupiter "overtakes" Saturn in its orbit. This great conjunction occurs approximately every 20 years.

However, the 2020 great conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn was the closest one since 1623 and the closest observable since 1226. From a spiritual perspective, Jupiter is said to be the planet of optimism, expansion, thought-leadership, healing and growth. Saturn, on the other hand, is associated with restriction, responsibility, and long-term lessons. When these energies combine, we can expect a major shift in consciousness or awaking so to speak. Also, for many years, the great conjunctions occur in signs of the same element (e.g. either Earth, Water, Air or Fire).

But with this conjunction, it actually switched to occur in a new element ( from Earth to Air). This is called a ‘mutation’ and therefore, it also marks the beginning of a new era or age. Again, the Earth sign represents the material realm, while the air represents the mind or consciousness.

When we change our way to think, we change our way to act.

This is the new era for more social and humanitarian collaborations. We moved from only thinking the need to acquire "things", to the necessity to connect with other "beings". The isolations and hardship we experienced in 2020 taught us what we really hold dear. For me, it was about letting go and surrender. When my family is unwell, I know that becomes my priority. My work would have to take a step back. Plans would have to change. And that is OK. To really allow that wasn't easy, but it makes what I can actually create or acomplish even sweeter and more precious.

That is what I've reflected on about 2020. What about you? What are the top 3 things you are most grateful for? What are you most looking forward to in 2021? What is the change you like to see or be in yourself?

As I am finishing this blog & podcast, it is actually Christmas eve, and so I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and get ready for a New Year - New Era! I will be taking a little time off but I'll talk to you again in early Jan 2021!

P.S.

If you have a family to look after or a job to attend to or a body to take care of, you may feel stress at any given day for many different reasons. Yes, in fact, I imply everybody on this planet is susceptible to get stressed! That's why this episode on stress management and good self-care practices is useful for everyone.

My guest for this week's podcast is Rita Garnto. Rita is an author and educator. She had a 20-year career in western healthcare as a Registered Respiratory Therapist and worked in Canada (where she was born), Saudi Arabia and in the United States. In 2004 she began her massage therapy private practice and after 16 years running, she is now educating and speaking on the dangers of stress and providing simple self-care solutions to combat the negative effects of stress. Learn more from her book "Simple Self-Care Saved Me" here.

In her career, she had cared for patients ranging in age from premature babies to the elderly and everyone in between. In her lengthy career, she had been part of the trauma flight team at Carolinas Medical Center in Charlotte, NC. and she was caring for critically ill patients during transport flights on helicopters and aeroplanes. Rita has vast experience in caring and supporting patients in all kind of stressful situations. Over time, her mission has evolved into focusing on improving the health and life of busy women and their families, simply and without overwhelm.

Interview Highlights

* Self-care is about self-preservation and not self-indulgence* Rita learned about stress from working in a life or death environment as being part of a trauma flight team for many years, also her personal experience with her family as well as being a massage therapist who saw many clients that came through because of stress-related issues.* We often under estimate the level of control we have in life, so the key question is, “What changes are you going to make?” If you want to break from your current situation.* Using her trauma flight team days to develop her stress management lectures and presentations to educate people how to manage stress on a daily basis.* Connecting the Eastern philosophy and Western medical training to reduce stress.* Time out to stress less - Rita's short Facebook Live to give short tips and advice for us to practise self-care, to connect with others, and to be authentic.* When we feel stress, our brain triggers the fight or flight response in our body. It is an essential response if we need to run away from actual danger, but when that is not the case, it puts pressure on our mental and physical health, especially when it happens frequently.* Other negative effects of stress include stress eating or loss of appetite, insomnia, may be withdrawn or trigger anxiety, mild depression, etc.* Women tend to take care of everybody else before we take care of ourselves or need to get permission to do self-care.* The difference between self-care and simple self-care: easy actions and habits that can build on themselves.

If you would like to connect with Rita, please visit her website or FaceBook page:

simpleselfcare.net

https://simpleselfcare.net/book

https://www.facebook.com/rkgarnto

Video

https://youtu.be/oFiLVsGPHP8

Transcript

Sze Wing:hi everybody,

If your desire is larger than your belief, it means you don’t actually expect what you want is going to happen. In fact, if it does, it will kind of catch you by surprise. 

I heard about this saying in a video related to the Law of Attraction. It instantly sticks on my mind. 

So how does it play out in terms of manifesting what we want? Is it counterproductive then? We attract things through what we believe in, or in other words, through vibration proximity.

I remember what the late Dr Wayne Dyer used to say from his lectures, "Believe it, and you will see it". Not the other way round. If you need to see it in order to believe it, you may never get there! 

I know how important and power our belief systems is. Needless to say, it caught me by surprise to realize in some case, my desire is far greater than my belief in achieving it.

It leads me to question, how often do we believe in what we want or what we dream of is actually possible to fulfil?

So here is my personal example: I have always believed that I can write and self-publish a book or books. But do I believe I can write a best seller? Or a great book?

The truth is, I never even dared to ask that question because subconsciously I didn’t believe I could do it. But I know enough about the power of my own belief and intellectually I have opted to shy away to fully examine what is that I really believe. 

So next question, why not?

Is it about confidence? Or about faith? 

What I have discovered is that through consistent practice, meaning, writing and working on my craft, I will gain confidence. In time, my faith will also get stronger. My belief in my own capacity or even destiny will grow. 

We can not think our way into this, in order to grow my abilities or faith in this case, I need to act. It is about practice. The chop-wood-carry-water type of action may seem mundane, but they are the building blocks. The day in day out type of work is the key to improve my craft.

In time, I know I will feel more confident, I will improve my craft, and good writing or even a best-seller may eventually happen. 

To desire is easy, to have faith it takes work. 

It is clear in my mind that I need to believe in myself, and instead of merely doing affirmations (it is useful too) I will compound it with consistent writing and learning to improve myself. 

And THAT is the work. 

What about you? What is your greatest desire right now? Do you believe you can fulfil it? If not, why not? What you think is sabotaging you, is it your belief system or various form of fear? Please share with me as I'd love to hear your experience.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I love to encourage you to do that. I don’t want you to miss an episode. Also, I offer occasional gifts and early-bird offer of my programs first on my podcast! You can use this link to subscribe on iTunes! You can also find me on Spotify and other podcast platforms, just search for @SzeWingVetault and you will find me.

Now if you are extra nice and kind, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on iTunes too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and I’d love reading them! Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Review” and Write a Review”. That’s it! Thank You!! 

Many women I know have this problem: We want to establish or grow a career or business we love, at the same time, we want to maintain a healthy and happy family life as well. But then at some point, we just feel exhausted, out of steam, overwhelmed or completely burnout. So how can we "have it all" without giving up our passion, purpose or worst, losing our minds?

Where do we start? What are we missing?

If you are someone who wants to feel fulfilled both from the inside and outside, then have a listen to my podcast interview with Rebecca Swanson. We discussed what do we need to ask ourselves or put in place in order to create a lifestyle that we desire and it can be sustainable in the long run too.

Rebecca Swanson is a life coach, business strategist, natural health & wellness advocate. She is a psychology graduate, certified NLP trainer and lifelong experiential learner. She is also a mother of 3 children and a loving partner. 

Interview Highlights:

* Rebecca's evolving story - from corporate leader to life coach, student of psychology and now helping women to get back their sass! * The real reason why women are so tired and exhausted in our modern society * How to "have it all" meaning: happy relationships and healthy body (internal) and career success and fulfilment (external) without losing who we are and our minds! * The No. 1 thing we need to look at or do in order to live a more courageous, authentic and passionate life* The most common obstacle/challenge that many career women/working mums face and the lesson it also brings* When we feel stuck or lack of choice, it is actually a call of deeper reflection and it is also an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.

If you would like to connect with Rebecca, please visit her website:

https://www.rebeccaswanson.com.au/

Video

https://youtu.be/RehzJ02Au_0

Personally, I find this quarter of 2020 a very sobering time. 

The pandemic, social unrest and natural disasters all make this year tough for many of us. I’ve heard many heartfelt stories from my high school friends and work colleagues who live various part of the world. Nothing is “normal” and everyone I know is affected in all different kind of ways. 

My son has just turned 6 months old and despite the fact that I have little control of my time, and the needs and desire of this tiny little human being is very often (if not always) prioritized over mine. This period of time also gives me permission to dive deeper into my ambition, question what really matters to me at this stage in my life, what is my purpose, role or responsibilities. 

What I have conjured up is a list of reminders to help me and others to gain a different perspective.  Or perhaps a way to decide when to say “No" to certain thoughts or behavioural patterns. And equally important is what do I need to say “Yes” to or things I should continue to do. 

I am certain there are times in your life where you may need a little reminder as well. And so that is what I would like to share with you this week. 

Things to "Stop" doing

* When you catch yourself judging yourself or others senselessly or being overcritical because of the subject matter riggers your vulnerability. 

* Being overly attached to the outcomes of your endeavour. Wish for the best, prepare for the worse, expect it to turn out just the way it should be, in divine timing and manner. 

* Caring too much what others think of you because no matter what you do or don’t do, you cannot control what others think. The most important thing is how you think of yourself, do you like or love who you are? Are you being YOU?

* Stop expecting others to change before you do. 

* Numbing your feelings by making yourself too busy, spending too much time on social media or addicting to anything (over-exercising, food or TV) in order to stop you from looking at what is really going on in your life. 

Things to "Start" doing

* Create quiet time for yourself daily, no matter how short that time maybe. Even 5 minutes. Just you and being in silence. 

* Savouring every experience or moment in time. Give yourself the permission to be fully present, no multi-tasking just focus on the one thing you are doing at that moment in time. Time is something you can NEVER get back. 

* When your desire is bigger than your belief, you actually don’t expect what you want is going to happen. Find ways that can strengthen your faith. Make it a conscious practice. An exercise if you will. Start to believe it. 

Things to "Continue" to do

* All the good practices that you know work wonders for you. Yoga, meditation, journaling, paint, bushwalk, play music, pray, write. Make them as habits. Not one-off events or just do them from time to time. 

* Nurture the relationships you are blessed to have so far. There is no chance encounter. Treat everyone as a divine plan or intervention. 

* To remember that we are not defined by things we have accomplished, but the way how we achieve them and the relationships we build along the way.

* Stay true to who you are, be kind, courageous and don’t forget to laugh. 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I love to encourage you to do that. I don’t want you to miss an episode. Also,

Many of us have suffered different effects of the pandemic in 2020. There are days where it is hard to make sense of it all or think about what to expect for 2021. That's why I found my interview with Karen Chaston is super timely, as it helps us to get a different perspective when it comes to tragedy, suffering and life lessons.

In July 2011, Karen’s life changed forever when her son died unexpectedly. It is without a doubt a mother's worst nightmare. Within 15 months, Karen resigned from her CFO role of a publicly listed company and began a personal, professional and spiritual journey. From that point on, all the experiences have led hers into becoming a beyond loss expert and co-founding her business Live Love By Design. 

Fast forward to today, Karen Chaston is known as a business owner, beyond loss mentor and international keynote speaker who has shared the stage with Marianne Williamson, Jamie-Lee Curtis, Valerie Harper and Dr Ellie Drake. She is the author of eight books and numerous e-books as well as an online TV show host and podcaster.

Interview Highlights:

* How a mother’s worst nightmare has lead Karen from a CFO to become a Beyond Loss expert.* Her professional and spiritual journey to move through grief and growth. Eventually, she re-calibrated and re-design her life. * 5 Steps process: The Gift of Loss - We start with a Stop and Go within.* People come into your life for a reason or for a spiritual lesson* There are over 40 different loss events that can affect our lives* Sadness is completely different from grieving and suffering* Instead of buying into someone else’s version of success and good life, we take time to design the life we actually love. That’s why Karen has co-founded her business "Live Love By Design"* Three aspects of every relationship: Physical, emotional ad spiritual * Sometimes the loss that we experience is not one-dimensional, it brings another kind of gift* Ways to connect with Karen and her webinars on topics related to: "The Gift of Loss" and "Live Love By Design”.

If you would like to connect with Karen, please visit:

https://www.karenchaston.com/

https://www.livelovebydesign.com/

Video:

https://youtu.be/FNwGvd5FmAc

Transcript:

Sze Wing:Hi, everyone. I'm really happy to introduce you to my guest of the day. We have Karen Chaston with me, and she's a business owner, a Beyond Loss mentor and international keynote speaker, and I'm really excited to chat with her because she had been on stage with some really big names including Marianne Williamson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Valerie Harper and Dr Ellie Drake to name a few. So I mean, I don't know how it's going to be on the same stage with these people because I think, I love public speaking but I still sometimes get nervous, so anyway. Not the major focus for today, but I can't help it, I'm off script sometimes. Anyway. She's also an author for eight books, probably more now, and working on some more, and numerous ebooks as well as online TV show host and podcaster. So you can tell, she has been busy working and sharing her work. And in her corporate career earlier, she was a CPA, CFO of a public listed company, and a city manager for more than 25 years. So definitely, she has a very solid background in the corporate world, but she also have-- probably hand in hand that you've been obviously very productive and effective in your life, and you have written eight books after that, so. But so today,

It happens to everyone. More than we realized, the feeling of being stuck or jaded about a situation starts from a thought, but when we keep thinking about it, it gains momentum.

Eventually that thought becomes so stubborn and unwilling to leave our mind. The negative feeling or even hopelessness grows. But the good news is, that thought may seem loud and true in our mind, it may not be true in reality.

But the problem is when we are engaged in thinking, feeling and believing we are stuck in a situation, our minds are unable to come up with a solution. Our eyes can't see the opportunities and our hears aren't open to the lessons in store.

So what do we do?

Just pause and observe

Instead of deliberately thinking our thoughts, sometimes our thoughts just randomly appear. There are millions of reasons why we think or feel a certain way and everyone has different triggers based on our past experiences. Perhaps it maybe just a bad day or a bad moment. When a negative or unpleasant thought appears, we don't always have to engage and act on it right the way. When it startles us, we can simply pause and observe. Detach and step back.

Next we ask ourselves, is it really our soul speaking to us, or most likely our ego self that tries to get our attention? Those thoughts that come under the brand wagon of "I am not good enough" or "It just won't work for me" often come in the disguise of some kind of insight, but as a matter of fact, it is a moment when we are not truly being (or believe in) ourselves. If we can catch from that thought early and stop its momentum, it would be best. If not, here is my next strategy.

Distract yourself and reset your mindset

You may be able to list all the reasons why it is not working out for you or why you are stuck in a tricky situation. But once again, with that line of thinking, you are NOT going to be able to solve your problem. Just like what Albert Einstein famously said: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

Consider the law of attraction, if you keep beating the drums of "I am not having enough money" or "All the eligible & good men/women are not available to me", like attracts like, you will find all the reasons and evidence to show you why you think those thoughts. However, if you change your way of thinking and feeling by distracting yourself. For example, go for a nice walk, watch the sunset, read a book or even take a nap. In other words, raise your vibration, stop talking yourself further into the worries or fear. When you relax and feel better, you become less fixated on the problem itself, you may see a solution or change your mindset on it entirely.

Fact check

Now once we are able to distract our mind or soothe our hearts, another great way to get unstuck is actually to check the facts without all the strong emotions that may cloud our judgement. Are we really looking at all the angles? Do we really know for sure? Where is our blind spot? What may actually help us with finding a way out?

More than sleep on it, pray on it

This may seem passive, but it is not. It is along the same line as distracting our minds but added another layer. When we sleep, it is like hitting a reset button, with good night sleep, we may think clearer and our days seem more hopeful in the morning. That's a start. Also, there are times where things are completely out of our control or we just won't be able to foresee what is beyond what we know. It's ok to say to the universe, I don't know, please guide me through it. Leave it to the universe to do it work.