In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi discuss the importance of being good listeners in friendship and explore how active listening, open communication, and empathy can strengthen and deepen relationships.

• Being a good listener requires being fully present and attentive
• Asking what a friend needs from a conversation helps set expectations and respect boundaries
• Navigating repetitive conversations with patience while understanding when to offer support vs. solutions

• Vulnerability strengthens friendships, and creating safe spaces for honest conversations is essential
• Silence can sometimes be a warning sign—checking in with friends ensures they feel supported
• Listening with the intent to understand is a foundational skill for deepening connection and fostering empathy, even in moments of disagreement

• Exposure to different perspectives allows for personal growth and deeper understanding
• Truth is often subjective and shaped by individual experiences
• Toxic positivity can invalidate real emotions and prevent meaningful conversations—being an active and empathetic listener helps create a more authentic connection

In what ways do you think you could be a better listener, and what listening superpowers do you feel you have that you could use more?

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Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi honor the not-so-easy process of making new friends and discuss insights from Danielle Bayard Jackson’s book Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships.

• How childhood experiences with making friends shape our ability to build connections as adults in less structured environments
• The changing workplace landscape and how increased digital connection impacts new friendships and socialization (referencing Te-Ping Chen’s The Loneliness of the American Worker in The Wall Street Journal)
• Accepting awkward fumbles as part of the process and the importance of creating structure when making new friends (inspired by J.P. Brammer’s Hola Papi: How to Make Friends As an Adult in The Cut)

• Research shows that it takes 34 hours to make a friend—a reminder that friendships require time and intention
• Strong friendships have health benefits, with some studies comparing the impact of loneliness to the dangers of smoking
• The delicate balance of giving people grace for difficult conversations while acknowledging the role that pride, shame, and capacity limitations play in conflict and resolution

• Jackson’s three core principles that bond female friendships are symmetry, secrecy, and support
• The fight against ambiguity and misperception creates open and honest conversations about each friend’s needs
• How life changes, evolving friendships, and misaligned expectations can lead to a necessary reckoning—deciding when a friendship is no longer serving you

How can you cultivate new friendships in a way that gives them a chance to develop and thrive? And what are you looking for in friendship?

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Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi explore the impact of time on our daily lives, including how we perceive it, protect it, and make time for what truly matters.

• How our brains perceive time and space, and why time sometimes feels like it moves too fast or too slow (referencing Denise John, PhD’s How to Slow Down Time and studies by cognitive neuroscientist Martin Wiener, PhD*)*
• Reflections on how time feels in this season of life and how to optimize daily routines to make the most of it
• To strengthen connections, prioritize relationships that stimulate the mind, set intentional communication cadences (inspired by @sundaskhalidd’s Thread), and travel to see loved ones

• The balance between protecting your time by disappearing (as discussed on Stars and Stars with Isa featuring Saeed Jones) and keeping time open for your closest people
• Relieving the pressure to always be available or always out and about in favor of focusing on what feels meaningful
• The role of discipline and rituals in moving personal goals forward versus relying on dopamine-fueled momentum that often fades quickly

• Understanding chronotypes to determine your body’s natural rhythm for sleep and productivity (referencing the Sleep Foundation’s overview of chronotypes).
• Looking back at early education and work experiences, the tension between personal work styles and institutional expectations, and knowing when to cut the cord
• Reclaiming unstructured, present moments—whether by wandering aimlessly or casually hosting friends (inspired by Kurt Vonnegut’s 2005 PBS interview and Jancee Dunn’s The New York Times article, Why Don’t Adults Hang Out Anymore?).

How does your relationship with time feel right now, and what do you think needs to be further supported or shifted?

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Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi explore the places where we do (or need to) ask for help—from friendships and family to career and creative projects. They discuss how stepping away from self-sufficiency can create more space for connection, collaboration, and focusing on what truly matters.

• Why shedding the Miss Independent mindset can create more opportunities for support
• How others’ perceptions of self-sufficiency can impact the help we receive
• The undefined expectations in friendships and how they shape support systems (referencing Cleo Wade’s Remember Love and Danielle Bayard Jackson’s TikTok on friendship dynamics*)*
• Communication strategies between friends can influence the help we receive in everyday life and during challenging moments

• Recognizing when to ask for help by assessing capacity, curiosity, and skillset.
• The power of peer mentors and coaches as a form of collaborative problem-solving
• Outsourcing as a learned skill—it often comes at a cost but leads to better outcomes

• The teamwork behind creative projects, from personal endeavors to Beyoncé’s Renaissance Tour, and the many players who bring a vision to life
• People are often willing to help strangers, even if they are not always warm
• Managing help can be challenging—delegating can add emotional and logistical weight to leadership
• Navigating the tension between people-first leadership and corporate demands—and why honest communication, while risky, can elevate everyone involved

What areas of your life could you use more help to pursue what you want and need?

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

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In this special episode of Table Pancakes, Shelbi and Katherine submit voice notes from their respective travels. Katherine is working on a design project in Connecticut, while Shelbi is in Los Angeles catching up with friends.

Listen as they share their updates from two different coasts—covering everything from creative challenges and new inspirations to fun moments and reflections on friendship. This episode combines personal anecdotes and professional updates, offering a behind-the-scenes look at what they’ve been up to.

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi have an open dialogue about how personal finances impact friendships—from career choices and partnerships to bachelorette parties and the ever-debated birthday dinner.

• Early perceptions of money often stem from childhood, where items like the custom NikeID Shox held social currency
• The journey from high school jobs to careers in our 30s reveals how people prioritize money in different ways
• Focusing on personal financial values is essential rather than comparing spending habits to others

• Financial resources extend beyond direct monetary support—help, access, and opportunities also shape financial security but are often overlooked in comparisons
• Curiosity about others’ financial choices can be a learning tool rather than a source of judgment.
• The contrast between attending big-ticket events like weddings and bachelorette parties versus prioritizing smaller, quality time moments.

• Exploring the emotional and logistical aspects of dual-income households, single life, and community-building in a society structured around partnership
• Normalizing casual hosting with friends to meet basic needs and create fulfilling moments
• Debating whether homemade ice cream parties should be in the future lineup

How do your finances influence—or not influence—how you interact and spend time with friends? How do you plan to adjust your social habits with the coming warmer weather? What creative ways can you add to your social rolodex?

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi sit down with Maria Colalancia to discuss how she built The Aperitivo Society. This community brings strangers together over dinner to foster meaningful connections through food, conversation, and shared experiences.

• A community designed to bring people together in New England over a shared love of food and drink
• Maria’s TikTok post about wanting to host fun dinner parties and meet new people led to nearly 700 members overnight, creating an engaged and growing community
• She experiences living in different cities, making friends through Bumble BFF, and ultimately forming her own space for connection

• The highs and lows of developing a community-driven initiative
• Staying organized with a calendar and prioritizing “energy givers” to maintain balance while working a 9-to-5 job is essential

• The valuable feedback Maria has received from The Aperitivo Society and how she balances member input with her vision
• The formation of micro-communities through Geneva fosters deeper relationships within the larger group
• The future of The Aperitivo Society, including the upcoming Boston retail space, THE SHOP
• Maria’s advice for aspiring community builders, her hosting philosophy, tips for cooking for a crowd, and her favorite Boston spots

• Website: The Aperitivo Society
• Instagram: @aperitivosociety
• Follow THE SHOP: @aperitivo__theshop

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi reflect on the convenience culture that shapes nearly every aspect of our lives and explore when—and how—we choose to slow down and connect more intentionally.

• Streaming services have shifted how we experience television, but nostalgia-driven reboots like Reba and Sex and the City still create shared cultural moments and online discourse.
• The sheer volume of content makes virality feel even more surprising and communal (we see you, Black Twitter).
• Delivery apps and on-demand services provide efficiency but can also diminish in-person connection—finding a balance between time as money and engaged participation in the community is key.

• Social media’s on-demand highlight reel can be motivating and disheartening, particularly given that millennial “experience culture,” fast fashion, and online status expectations shape our ideas about what we should do.
• Gen Z’s shift toward showing a broader range of real-life experiences (like Brittney Reynolds) provides a more authentic way to connect and reduce misconceptions about others’ lives.
• Wearable tech can empower health and knowledge, but knowing what enhances vs. overwhelms is up to the consumer.
• AirPods have become status symbols of convenience and isolation, offering connection while shutting out the world (referencing Scott Galloway’s 2018 tweet on Ian Bogost’s Atlantic article, "Apple’s AirPods Are an Omen").

• Looking back at nostalgic television and past warnings about technology reminds us that progress is cyclical and that the past, present, and future remain intertwined.
• The on-demand world isn’t going away, but we can choose where to bring human connection back into the equation.

In what ways would you like to shift your relationship to an on-demand culture to better connect with others?

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations.

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi explore the discourse of friend groups, unpacking the benefits and drawbacks of these social dynamics to determine whether the criticism is fair.

• Eli Rallo’s TikTok sparked debate by claiming friend groups are terrible and limiting
• Many people desire to be part of a friend group, so this take may validate those who feel excluded
• While cliques can create negative experiences, “friend group” is a broad term that varies based on the people and the dynamics at play

• Friend groups can be more challenging to form in adulthood, but they no longer resemble the rigid cliques of high school
• Beyond belonging, groups expand experiences, foster playfulness, and create spontaneity
• When friends move away, the group dynamic becomes a key way to stay connected across distance

• Friendship has seasons, but socializing is also impacted by the four seasons themselves, with winter often bringing more exclusivity
• The pandemic shifted how people go out and build community, and many are still adjusting
• Embracing parties just because, less overthinking when making plans, and being okay with the natural friction of leaving the house

What do you think about friend groups and their role in your life? How do your group dynamics (or one-on-one friendships) shape how you spend your social time?

The show is on Spring Break next week and returns on April 24. Catch up on past episodes and leave us some notes for when we return.

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations!

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In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi discuss what it means to prioritize friendships in daily life, how to sustain them long-term, and why friendships deserve as much intention as romantic relationships. Plus, they share how they’re prioritizing Beyoncé’s new album, Cowboy Carter.

• Adult friendships require emotional support, celebration, and adventure
• The five love languages, plus the newer additions of shared experiences and emotional security, shape how we show up for our friends
• Finding creative ways to spend time together and evolve as friends can feel overwhelming, but it is ultimately rewarding

• Society often prioritizes romantic relationships over platonic ones, which can be frustrating for those without a romantic partner
• Giving grace to friends who may have never experienced deep friendship and encouraging them to invest in it
• Actively choosing to curate a village of friends who believe in building a life together
• Evaluating the risk of friendships fading due to capacity or effort (referencing Frank Bruni’s The Friends Who Got Away in The New York Times)

• Exploring friendships that mirror romantic partnerships in terms of emotional closeness and shared responsibilities
• The joy of friends’ people becoming your people, expanding community in an organic and meaningful way

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @tablepancakespod

Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you rated, reviewed, and subscribed to the show. Your support helps us continue these conversations!

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