Table Rush Talk Show

I dive deep on the "self righteous agenda".  And what does that mean.  And examples of a self righteous agenda.  A little prayer to help you work through it.  And Perhaps I don't know what you need to go through to get to where you need to be.

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

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Transcript:  Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger part 6. If you made it this far and listen to all five...yea! If not, and you've just listened to a few, or this is your first one, hopefully you will grab the nugget that can propel you forward to a less covertly, anger, anger life. And B hopefully you've gone and purchased the sure. MV88 mic. So you can record your amazing thoughts on both audio and video on your iPhone with the lightning connector. Um, and there's the Shure MV88+ plus that you can also get, which I also have, which allows for non lightning connectors. So nobody has an excuse. I should add the link for the MBA plus in the show notes.

Mischa Z: 00:56 So yes, I had covert and subversive anger issues that I was in denial about, and or that I justified. Turns out I was raising my voice. And yes, that can be construed as anger and not just Mischa being passionate about his idea. And perhaps the seething silent treatment is just as inappropriate. And that perhaps imposing my will in an intimidating way, uh, is perhaps an anger issue as well. And, uh, it can be very subtle. It can be very subtle. We can strip away more and more of those habits. I'll speak for me. I can, but then perhaps I still had some, it culminated in me with me, tired of making false promises to my son Waylon when he was nine years old. And, uh, and uh, I was tired of telling him that next time I won't yell at you to what would turn out to be to the point of tears the next time we do homework?

Mischa Z: 02:22 And I was like, yeah, this does not feel good anymore. Dad, learned, dad needs to learn how to bring love in every situation. If your child is not going to get his homework done, as you like anyway, perhaps why do we need to have the peak, um, trauma experience. Or tumultuous experience and then go to love and we play can't we just start with love, and perhaps the will get you to the outcome you want. And I would say that works with arguments with your spouse. Arguments, with a relative arguments, with a friend. Arguments, with the political figures that you can't even talk to. Arguments with people, places and things.

Mischa Z: 03:29 So anger is as a result of fear, anger manifests from fear. What was Mischa fearful of? I'm going to cut to the chase and just say Mischa was fearful of how he was going to look as a parent, A. That was one. If Waylon not doing good in school. I will be perceived as a poor parent. If Waylon doesn't have the proper hobbies, I will be perceived as a poor parent. I could go on and on down the list. We could move that on further to, you know. Selfishly Mischa being...selfish...Mischa has fear of feeling or seeing his son in an uncomfortable situation. What if Waylon, uh, hurts himself? Well, I don't want him to hurt himself. That can be a righteous agenda, a self-righteous agenda, but perhaps I just don't want to have to deal with the ramifications of my son hurting himself. So maybe I yell in a situation where I don't need to, or I'm over-protective. I hope that's a valid example. I think it can be, in some cases it can be. What are other examples you think I'd have them written down? Um, I don't want to be financially responsible for my kids longer than I need to.

Mischa Z: 05:26 How about another one? I don't think I had a lot of this, but perhaps some people do or perhaps it's more sneaky than I think. But what if I fail in life and have no reserves when I'm old and then neither do my kids. So they cannot be supportive of me, ironically, if I'm yelling at them all the time, excuse my language, but let's drive that point home. Perhaps they're not going to be around when I'm older anyway,

Speaker 2: 05:57 So it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but there's plenty of stuff. Plenty of stuff where it's like, it's, Mischa worried about the perception of the world towards me. It's me worried about what am I going to have to do longer than I want to? Is they're going to be fiscal responsibilities longer than I want to? Am I going to have to take care of them longer than I want to? Is it going to affect my day? I can't go watch TV because Waylon is not getting his homework done and the timely manner that I want to. So I'm going to miss my favorite recorded show.

Speaker 2: 06:45 How ironic is that? Most stuff is streamable. Back then it wasn't quite as much, but it's just a funny thought. I'm sure DVR was available back then. And I probably had it, but you get the point, the demand for respect as well. That's just such a funny thing. So once I started digging deep into that, once I started meditating or contemplating those ideas, and once I started seeing the level of my selfishness under the guise of a righteous agenda. And what do I mean when I say righteous agenda? What I mean is supposedly I want the best for you. I want the best for you. And that's how I justify me being...Practicing my subversive and covert anger, or me being a prick or me being passionate about a subject or an idea. Oh my goodness. So all sorts of fun, fun tips and tricks I have learned to help me be a much more loving chill in the moment, like trusting in God, friend, parent, boyfriend, citizen of the world. Um, learned how to bring love in most situations.

Speaker 2: 08:35 Um, and here's, here's, here's one of my best things that came to me. And you gotta be willing to try it. And I encourage you to try it. Say this prayer God, and I know you've heard me say it before, but I'm gonna say it again. How can I best support your path for X person setting aside my own selfish wants and desires? God, how can I support your path for X setting aside my own selfish wants and desires? Because often times so often it's my own skewed, selfish, wants, and desires that that fuel an, uh, a, a situation like that. And I'm gonna leave you with this thought and one proof of concept. So, um, the thought is perhaps I don't know what somebody needs to go to go through to get to where they need to be. Perhaps I don't know what you need to go through to get to where you need to be.

Speaker 2: 09:56 Like the universe does, perhaps me in my infinite intelligence, God forbid, I don't know. That was the mailman accelerating by and this one day, my son Cooper, who fancied me when I was, when my A type self was more, was more, more, more prevalent. Um, he, he says to me, "dad, like, where does that side of you go?" And I was like, are you sure you want that side to come back? Like, isn't it aren't, isn't it a much more calm, soothing, nurturing, chill place to be, uh, with me these days. And he was like, yeah, yes it is. And then of course I've had so many people over the years recently. I cannot tell you how many, I would throw some names out there, but that are just like, wow, you are a different person in such a beautiful way. All right, peace out. Have yourselves a great day.

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I would really like to learn how to tackle homework with love. Why can't you just go straight to hugs and support that way? Why do we have to have the peak chaos moment?  I went deep on the thought of anger is a result of fear.  So what am I fearful about?  What are your fears when you are angry?  Where can you be less angry and more loving?

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
  1. Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
• Email me: [email protected]

For social Media:      

• https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/
• https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzov

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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert, anger part five. How amazing is this that this is just turning into a, we could almost call it a series, perhaps this is going to turn into a, well. Maybe we'll get her done in episode five, but covert anger slash subversive anger. And again, um, my, my justifiable anger, or a quote that I love is "anger is the dubious luxury of normal men". Some people can afford to be angry and it does not affect them. Or perhaps their relationships. Me, it is a luxury I cannot afford. And the universe squeezes me. Like if, as I am on a growth trajectory, bad habits get squoze out of me. And sometimes that's uncomfortable and painful. And those are, again, this is not to place judgment on anybody else. It's just, and not even myself just to talk about my own experience. So, um, I can have anger issues that are justifiable because they don't seem extreme to me. And for me, it culminated in. Um, and so there's the subversive side of it where it's subversive. I'm subverting, or I'm doing damage to personal relationships. They're probably they're not as clean and yummy as they could be.

Mischa Z: 02:07 The more I have love in my relationships the better. So, um, last episode I was getting to the point where the peak for me was fighting with young Waylon and I believe he was nine. Yes. Nine years old. No, perhaps 10. Yes, 10, 9, 10 ish. And it was definitely nine years old where we were fighting yet again about his homework. And he was literally sobbing. And this would happen a few times. 'Dad, I just want a hug". And God bless him for, if you're listening to this Waylon and I love you. Probably should have been said your name, but whatever. Um, God bless Waylon for, for hanging in and saying what he needed. Right. And not internalizing. That was not as far as I'm aware, but at least not. If he was not internalizing it more than he was and uh, you know, asking for love. And by the grace of God, I would hear it in those moments. It would be like, "Oh my God, I've lost my mind again over freaking math." Right!

Mischa Z: 03:38 And, and And I have done that before. When I was in my youth, as a teenager, I addicted to alcohol and drugs. The promises of "I'll quit. I'll stop". "This won't happen again," Whatever, you know, behavior that was really wreaking havoc. And then, you know, it, it took a come to a come to Jesus moment, man. Like it took a bottom. To be willing to stare those addictive patterns in the face. And then by the grace of God, be willing to do the work, to make the changes. And so my bottom with my, with the next level of anger with me, so, you know. I stripped away most of the big stuff or so it seemed, and now I'm yet still fighting with Waylon to the point of tears again and again, where I can no longer make, what is it? Faulty promises. I can no longer do that. So how did things change further from there? Well, you know what I did. What I did was I was like, okay, I'm going to go buy a couple of books on anger because clearly I've been in denial about, about this anger not being an issue.

Mischa Z: 05:33 I would really like to learn how to tackle homework with love. And like, if they're not going to get the homework done or comprehend it, why does there have to be tears about it? Why can't you just go straight to hugs and support that way? Why do we have to have the peak chaos moment?

Speaker 2: 05:57 Anyhow, I had said that as a father, I've been very lucky to practice two styles. First was demand, respect, you know, uh, my way or the highway type of a thing under the guise of open-mindedness. Oh my God. I could go so deep. There's so many layers here. Um, are any of you relating, I don't know. Any of you had this experience, um, I think at least some of you will get to some extent what I'm talking about. So, uh, I bought a couple of books on anger. One was like the workout or anger workbook. I wish I could remember what the names of these books were. Um, and I'll go search my bookshelf that I think I donated at one point, cause I was like, yes, I've sorted through those major hiccups. And, um, I can tackle most things with a loving attitude more than ever, which is super cool.

Speaker 2: 07:12 But anyhow, so I started the process on the books. It was the act of buying those books that started, that accelerated the change. And so it wasn't necessarily the books themselves. Like one of them, I gave a cursory glance, the workbook one I started. And I think it started with like write down these, you know, areas where you're angry and perhaps supposedly not. Doesn't matter. I started the word bug, but what it did was it opened my mind to, to, to this thought and going deeper with this thought. Anger is a result of fear. Anger is as a result of fear. So what am I fearful about? And at this point I'm meditating and, uh, you know, I'm willing to contemplate thoughts on a deep level and perhaps write, write about them, I guess, is what I'm trying to say instead of like just others that thought and then turning away from it. So I was like, all right, I need to think on and write on what are my fears that are

Speaker 3: 08:56 That are, that this anger is manifesting out of. What are my fears that this anger is manifesting out of? And that's a great question. So I'm gonna challenge you to do two things before I move on to part six. One is if you are, have situations where you think you're angry, but your intuition is well, uh, okay. Yelling is not cool. Or, or maybe you yell when you think it is cool. Like, what are my fears? What are my fears here? What's the fear, not what am I angry about? Like my kid's not getting his homework done or he's just not doing it. Or she's not seeing things my way. What is the fear? And then two, if you don't have kids or if your kids are out of the house, what are examples in your current life of how that, that are like what I'm describing that I was having with my kids? Like, like what are some behaviors where you and I can be less angry and be more loving? All right. Look for part six. I think it is. Um, thank you for your patience. I'm trying to be of service and trusting that this conversation is of service. All right. Peace out.

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Pulled from the Tools For A Good Life Summit interviews.  Meg Gibbs guides us through a heavy time.  Meg pulls strategies from Shamanism, ceremony, and sacred ceremony to give us her answers.  1) stop doing and slow down.   2) gratefully put your feet on the earth.  3) Ask for help.  And trust yourself.  Write down 20 things that you know.  End the day with gratitude.  And then there’s nature :).

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
  1. Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
• Email me: [email protected]

For social Media:      

• https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/
• https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzov

Subscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Transcript: 0:00:00.1 Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody, to the Tools For a Good Life Summit. And right now, I would like to introduce to you, Meg Gibbs. Welcome, Meg. Before I read your official bio, I just want to say that... You know what, I'm gonna start with your official bio and then I'm gonna shower platitudes on you. How about we do that?

0:00:25.2 Meg Gibbs: Great, I love it. A compliment at the end, sounds good.

0:00:28.8 Speaker 1: Okay, good, good, good, good. So Meg Gibbs is a shamanic spiritual guide and somatic coach who helps people heal their relationship with their body and spirit. She has over 20 years of experience, studying with indigenous teachers from the US and South America, specifically working with the Lakota medicine wheel, which I freaking love, and the Q'ero. Am I saying that right? Q'ero.

0:00:58.6 Meg Gibbs: Q'ero.

0:01:00.9 Mischa Z: Q'ero. And the Q'ero lineage from the Andes of Peru. Her work weaves together ancient wisdom, experiential coaching and leadership techniques, and is grounded in embodied practice... And is grounded in embodied practice and intuition. She holds space for her clients to uncover the truth of who they are and how they want to share that with the world. She offers sessions remotely, for scientific fingerprint analysis, customized coaching, sacred ceremony and soul-aligned branding, to meet her clients where they are, on their personal or entrepreneurial journey?

0:01:39.7 Meg Gibbs: Absolutely.

0:01:41.5 Mischa Z: Absolutely. Welcome, meg. So, serendipitously, I think our relationship speaks to a willingness to have an open mind and willingness to perhaps embrace and work with somebody that you might not normally go to. Yeah?

0:02:01.8 Meg Gibbs: Yeah, absolutely, for sure.

0:02:03.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah. So we met through serendipitous events, perhaps five, six... Four, five, six years ago, somewhere in there, and sort of forced cohabitation almost, for a weekend. Yes. And then normally, I think, in the outside world or however you wanna say that, we wouldn't have had an opportunity to work together. But we did, and you have been such a massive, massive part of my personal journey and my transformation. And I just was writing down some of the amazing things that we did together, that you brought me on the journey of. You're like, "Hey, Misha, here's... Let's do this, let's do this." And so, I... Movement exercises, writing exercises, meditation exercises, these ridiculous visualization exercises. And when I say ridiculous, just like ridiculous in a magical way.

0:03:06.3 Meg Gibbs: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:03:09.7 Mischa Z: And then we did some really cool group stuff via Zoom, which I was pleasantly surprised with, where you had put together some... Almost an online class structure, and people from Canada jumped in, I was in there, we just did all this cool stuff and you've... Again, you bring the magic. Simple as that.

0:03:35.9 Meg Gibbs: Thank you. Yeah, it's so fun to be able to support people in that way. And it's funny, because you can read my whole bio and we can talk about what I do, and here's the bullet points, but the truth is, if someone was like, 'Meg, what do you do?" and I was like, "Oh, I make magic happen." And I can't really say that when I shake somebody's hand, but I know that that's part of my truth and part of my gift, is to show up and hold space for magic to happen, for other people. That's the fun part for me. For sure.

0:04:05.1 Mischa Z: Yeah, and as I was going down that list, I was literally getting chills, and my hair was standing up even more than... So powerful, so powerful. And again, it just speaks... I don't mean audience, thank you for indulging us, but to have that open mind and to try... If an opportunity falls in front of you like this now, take advantage because it can be transformational, and I think one of the great things you said about me, Meg, not to make this about me, I apologize. But I'm a gamer and willing to jump in the fray and try different things. So I would encourage anybody watching and listening, jump in the fray, take a risk, if somebody on this summit resonates with you, but they're outside of who you might normally think is in your wheelhouse, just go for it.

0:05:02.7 Meg Gibbs: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that speaks to something that we'll talk about, which is for me, the connection to the body and really listening intuitively for what comes up for you. And so, when I think of when we met and how we've worked together, there's a sense of trust or expansion or listening, and that's the piece that when I tell people, "Oh, you're looking for a coach or a healer or whatever, a mechanic," it doesn't really matter. But if you can tune in and listen, "Oh, does that person feel good to me?" and it might not even, like you said, logically makes sense of like, "Oh, they're a different gender, or they have this woo specialty that I am not so sure about or whatever," but if it feels like, "Ooh, there's a little something there to play with," that's the piece that I encourage people to follow.

0:05:50.6 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah, I love that. Thank you. So, quickly, somatic. What's somatic coach? When you say it... When that's...

0:06:02.8 Meg Gibbs: Yeah. Real simple. Somatic is just meaning, being in your body. So what I do is, I coach people around being in their body, and for me, being in your body is a sacred practice. So it's like building a muscle. We talk a lot about going to the gym and building physical muscle. And so, when you haven't had practice to be in your body, because our society doesn't teach that, you're not asked on a daily basis, "Mischa, how is your heart feeling in your body right now? What does it feel like?" You even named the goose bumps, noticing your physical sensation, noticing when emotions come up, because there's so much wisdom there, and 90% of our world is run from here up. That's it. So imagine, you have access to all of this other information and transformation, and that's what I feel like the body provides. So somatic coaching or somatic wisdom is just being in your body, checking in with your body, learning from your body, all of that is in there. So it's just a fancy word for it. But, yeah.

0:07:08.0 Mischa Z: Okay. I love that. Thank you for that. That's a beautiful explanation. And as you were talking about it, literally, I was sensationally in the body, like...

0:07:19.0 Meg Gibbs: Right. I could see it in your eyes too. [chuckle]

0:07:22.0 Mischa Z: So I wanna talk to... Just quickly too, and maybe three-minute version, but this... You... And I love this about you. It's one of my favorite things about you, is just the fact that you didn't five years ago, decide, "I'm gonna go explore shamanic ideas or this or that," and then bring that to the world. You grew up in it, due to the nature of your family. So when you say 20 years, that means... Yeah, when you were a teen, when you were young, you were... Due to the nature of growing up within it, you're doing this practice. Yeah?

0:07:58.2 Meg Gibbs: Yeah, absolutely, yeah. I'll give you the short version. So my mom started working with a Lakota teacher when I was young, and I started working with that teacher when I was 11. So I've been studying shamanic wisdom and lineages for over 20 years, since I was a kid, and I am a white woman, and I like to say that because it's important to know that this is a spiritual lineage for me, it's not a genetic lineage. And honoring that and honoring my teachers, and part of what I believe in, is giving money back to the people who created the space for me to do the work that I do. And with that, what happens for me is this balance of holding what is true, even if it doesn't match up with the outside. And what I mean by that is like, "Yes, I'm a young white person, and I also have this really deep soulful appreciation and carrying of this work inside of myself," and it's integrated into how I see the world and how I relate to people, the work that I do, how I show up, even when I go to the grocery store.

0:09:11.1 Meg Gibbs: It's in me, in a way that is not just, "Oh, I took a workshop and now I'm a shaman." And we talked about this, but I don't actually call myself a shaman. Some other people call me that, but I say I'm a shamanic practitioner, and that I do energetic and emotional healing and support with people. But holding the two lineages that I hold spiritually, are the Lakota and then this Andean tradition from the mountains of Peru, and my teacher is Don Mariano. So I've been initiated into these teachings, and it's an extremely... Or it has been, in the past, an extremely private world. And so, growing up with this really disciplined spiritual approach made me, obviously, pretty different from the other kids in middle school, who were talking about sports, and I'm talking about talking to trees on the weekends.

[laughter]

0:10:06.2 Meg Gibbs: The short version is just that this is very much a part of who I am and how I show up, and it's important to me, that people are honoring the root of where this comes from as well.

0:10:20.6 Mischa Z: Perfect, thank you. Beautiful. Well done, in three minutes too, the three-minute version.

0:10:25.0 Meg Gibbs: Perfect.

0:10:26.9 Mischa Z: And you were saying studying and I'm gonna add to that, implementing. So studying and implementing. So, beautiful. I think we get to it. I say we get to the question. What do you think?

0:10:37.7 Meg Gibbs: Yeah, take me. Let's go.

0:10:38.9 Meg Gibbs: Alright, fantastic. So I'm gonna lay out a scenario, and then I'm gonna ask

you a question, and... If we think of life as that three-legged stool, relationships, finance, health, it's when two of those legs go out, that it really can get... Life can get lifey, if you want to say. And so, for me, my parents passed away in rapid succession, divorce, further failed relationships. Physically, I was fine. I would tell you that. I looked physically fit. I had no stressors going on, physically, but that... For other people, that might...

0:11:31.5 Mischa Z: Anyway, you get what I'm saying. But the fact of the matter was, things got so heavy that my normal tools for working through emotional upheaval or through stressful times weren't enough, so I couldn't success my way through it, or work at it, work harder, fix it. So that being the case, and... Oh, here, I'm gonna get back to script. That helps me. I'm gonna get back on script. So to top it off, the pull yourself up from your bootstraps, fix it and push your way through it methods that served me so well, were no longer working. I needed new tools.

0:12:15.8 Mischa Z: By the grace of God, I had an open mind for new tools. Hence, Meg dropped into my life. This is my question to you. Thinking of shamanism, ceremony, sacred ceremony, what are the exact next steps you would offer this person, so they know they are headed in the new right direction, that they will have positive momentum towards getting their life back on track?

0:12:43.1 Meg Gibbs: Yeah. So the first thing honestly, is take a breath, [chuckle] acknowledging where you are, checking in, noticing what it's like to be you in this moment, is a really powerful tool, and almost zooming out and looking at yourself with love. So I say that because so often, when we're in that space of life crumbling or struggling or whatever, especially if you're holding on from the inside, like if you are someone who is still high achieving and making money and doing the thing, so people don't think there's anything wrong, you're holding a lot, there's a lot of that hamster wheel going on. And so, that breath and that acknowledgement to even just go, "I'm having a hard time right now. Wow. What is it like to meet myself with some compassion?"

0:13:42.9 Meg Gibbs: So I think, so often, we launch into action and action steps, and, "How do I do x, y, z?" And here's the thing, you can read books, you can listen to podcasts, you can go to therapy, there's like... Here's 29 things you can do it. But the other side of it is, how you be, how you be in yourself, how you be in the world, how you show up for people, how you need people to show up for you.

0:14:11.1 Meg Gibbs: So this is just general sort of life advice, container energy stuff. So to answer your question more specifically around the shamanic piece or around ritual, I like to really use small intuitive rituals. And what I mean by that is, I'm gonna show you. So I brought some tea to our call, I don't know if you can read this.

0:14:34.4 Mischa Z: Yeah. Sending you a socially distanced hug in a mug. Nice.

0:14:38.5 Meg Gibbs: I love this. It's a happy mug. And so, what I really like to do that's simple is, in the morning or when you have your tea or your coffee or whatever, and you can do this with me if you have some water with you, whatever you're drinking, and so you'

Today's meditation…if you slow down, will it create the space for more connection? With the loved ones in your life?

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
  1. Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
• Email me: [email protected]

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My old assistant Jen used to get to deal with my “stress” at work.  I challenge you with this question.  How are you consciously or subconsciously doing angry things?  And justifying it as this is going to hurt you more than it's going to hurt them?  And fIghting with my son about his homework.

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 How I saw that I did indeed have covert and subversive anger issues that were covert, meaning covert, meaning I could justify them. Right. I could justify my attitude, my loud voice, my...good afternoon... Uh, my, um, you know, my anger, I had anger issues. And although they weren't, as they weren't blatant enough to, um, you know, get me in literal trouble, but they were definitely bad enough to, I don't know if bad enough is the right word. I mean, good, bad. You know, what's the universe got an order in the store anyway. Let's just say that it definitely made for uncomfortable situations with my wife, with my boys. I have two boy. Um, relationships at work. I raise my voice at work. It was okay for Misha to yell across the office at somebody that I needed something.

Mischa Z: 01:30 Like, that's just, that's just not passive aggressive. That's aggressive, aggressive. Right. So if you're yelling across your office or across your house at people for things, um, uh, that's aggressive. And perhaps there's some, um, covert, anger, anger. But it's not for me to tell you that you figure it out on your own. We're talking about me here. So, you know, yes. I had an assistant at work named Jen. And Jen and I would passionately ask for things, um, meaning I would yell or raise my voice, or if things got tense in the mortgage business, which it can, I could be very stern and, uh, and then just, you know, that's not cool. Um, any more, I don't think that's cool. You know, like we, I try to come with love as much as possible, like tough love what the hell is tough love, you know, like that.

Mischa Z: 02:58 I was thinking about it as I'd written down covert anger as a topic like it's like when your parents may have spanked you or you spank your kids or are, you know...this is going to hurt you more than it's going to hurt me. So I would challenge anybody listening to be like, okay, well I'm not spanking anybody. I'm my kids are out of the house or how are you consciously or subconsciously doing angry things and justifying it as if you think about it and look deeply at it, this is going to hurt you more than it's going to hurt me? Such a funny thought. So, anyhow, I'm a holy mackerel walking up a steep hill as I'm recording this, I will stop for a second.

Mischa Z: 04:05 So when it really came to a head for me, and again, let's say as well, like, you know, not to beat this into the ground or beat a dead horse. It's funny the terms I'm using when I'm talking about covert, anger, um, you know. If you hear, um, you raise your voice and then your response is no, I'm just speaking passionately. Well, maybe you want to look at that. Those are issues that I would have. People would be like, yo Misha, you don't need the raise your voice. And I'd be like, I'm not raising my voice. I'm just speaking passionately. And so I try to be aware of that today. So that can be from wives, kids, friends, Heil, if you're screaming at the TV, cause you liked to watch watch news. And then your family gets to hear you angrily scream at the TV. Well, maybe you should contemplate whether you want that energy flying around your house or right enough out of me in that regard. So the, I would help my son Waylon with this homework and, uh, you know, went through a divorce. Um, and so being at least a 50% dad, I all the sudden was thrust into opportunities when Waylon was nine, no seven when Waylon was seven and Cooper was nine to start helping with homework.

Mischa Z: 05:51 You know, in hindsight, I probably could have just hired a tutor and then kept my anger issues. So maybe my thrifty nature of, um, I actually just was looking forward to helping, but I don't know if looking forward is the right word, but yeah. I'll help my kids with their homework, you know? Um, yeah, so funny, Hey, if you've got kids out there and you're fighting with them, hire a tutor and then you can, you can, um, keep your anger issues. So anyway, that's such a funny thought. So I would... Cooper got the school system much sooner. So he was very low maintenance. Like he, he was just like, yeah, I get it. I know what the needs to be done. I can get it done. This, that, and the other. Waylon was a different story. Um, while he was two years behind. So maybe he, the light bulb went off at the same time.

Mischa Z: 07:02 It did age wise as Cooper, but, uh, I would fight with Waylon. And I think anybody listening that has fought with their kids about homework. Uh, common responses, they get, well, all parents do that. Well, that's subversive and covert. That's how we justify it. Perhaps all parents do do that, but that doesn't make it right. Or that doesn't mean we shouldn't learn how to do it less. Or that doesn't mean we shouldn't figure out how to have the same conversations with love. And why does it have to be frustrating? I think those are great questions. And I would challenge you that not every parent fights with their kids about homework. We find the people who will say yes, I do that too.

Mischa Z: 08:06 Anyway, I'm not here to browbeat myself or anybody else. I'm sure all of us to justify it have had moments where we have fought with our kids about homework. Or you could, if you don't have kids, you can think about where you've fought with people and you know, I'd be like, why did I fight about that? I swear I won't do it again Waylon. I won't yell to the point of where you're sobbing in tears, right? Like that's just not cool. I, I would, I'm going to end this episode with this and we're obviously going to have to go on to part five, but I'm very lucky as a father to have had two experiences,

Speaker 2: 08:55 First experience was, um, demand, respect come with more angry, more angry, aggressive my way or the highway type of stance. And I had this moment of clarity of what if I tried it with love and what's the fear of letting all that anger go and truly coming at it, lovingly. And I've got to do both paths. And so I've got cool results. Anyway, look for part five. I think it is peace out.

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I finally get to the goods.  A discussion on how  I thought I didn't have any anger issues.  But then I had that start realization that I did have some issues that were subversive to my relationships.  And how that manifested and what that looked like.  Don't mind the mic recommendation. 

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
  1. Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger part three. How I came to a point in my life and realized that I did indeed have covert anger issues. Meaning they were covert to my awareness. I justified them in all sorts of ways. They were subversive. If you listened to the previous parts one and two, you also heard me say subversive. I like that word as well. Like they were subversive to my, the health of my personal relationships and the short term. In hindsight working it out has made my long-term relationships better. Anyhow, so covert and subversive anger and how, and back in those days, I would have sworn that I did not have anger issues and that would have sworn that I was not yelling at you. I was just passionately stating my case. Or, or passionately encouraging you to change your behavior or to see things differently, or to see things my way or to, uh, whatever, to try and get people, places and things to act as I wanted. And then of course the pain got great enough. The pain in my relationships became great enough that I was like, yeah, I need to do things differently. And then I'm going to tell you about some steps that I took. Some of the results. And you know, some fun social proof. But before I get to that, I'm going to divert for one second, which, you know, if you've been listening, I can do, I will definitely divert.

Mischa Z: 02:26 One of my favorite things to do is walk, live to get out and walk. Yes. Get out and walk so good for me. And then another thing I love doing is podcasting. I, most of the time, love letting it rip recording an episode, you know, growing in this process. And I just wanted to say that I'm getting to that right now. I'm getting to do two things that I love. One is to walk and one is to let it rip for a podcast episode. And what do I use to do that? My Shure MV 88, Mike, which has a lightening adapter. So I use it with my iPhone. I was not intending this to be a, um, a sales pitch to you, but nonetheless, here we go. If you would like to walk and record, take messy action for your podcast or also for your YouTube channel, because the motive and MV88 now has the integrated software for video for your iPhone camera. So for a while, it just worked for audio, but now there is the motive audio app, as well as the motive video app.

Mischa Z: 04:04 So CLO go to my show notes, click on the link where you can buy the sure. And V 88, Mike, and perhaps have fun with podcasting, YouTube channeling recording and using the mic to ensure on an awesome price range, have the best available audio as well as super easy functionality. Okay. For those of you who don't care about all that, I'm very sorry. Thank you for listening. Hopefully you were using the fast forward button. So I really started noticing, well, I would hear people say, well, people specifically my wife at the time, you're angry and I'm like, I am not angry. You are angry. Oh no, I am not angry. And you know, I looked at it on a scale. I'm not angry as my mother, as I thought my mother was. I'm not angry as I thought my father was, or I could look out into the public and be like, I'm not angry as them.

Mischa Z: 05:26 I am not, you know, physically abusive. That was the, that's the easy one. I don't have anger issues. I'm not fighting. You know, I'm not fisticuffs or I'm not pushing people physically. Like putting my, you know, shutting someone or, you know, you know, you know, beating my kids or, and I have, sorry, I'm even saving these sorts of things. It just sounds so aggressive or beating my wife. Right. And God bless you if that is manifesting in your life, I hope it sorts itself out. Um, but anyway, you know, for me it was clear that yes, I raised my voice a lot. Or, you know, I could be intimidating as a physical presence, six two, I can have a loud, booming voice. I can seethe with anger. I'm very effective at the silent treatment. Which the silent treatment, like going deep within, in a negative way like that, like collapsing within myself and shutting down and then projecting that out to the world to my ex-wife Dawn. Dawn, Sorry.

Mischa Z: 06:54 When I did that, it turns out I had the habit of doing that. I was gifted in both. I could, I was very gifted in the art of the seething, silent treatment, as well as the art of justifying my booming loud voice and, and these sorts of things. And of course my kids, you know, this demand for respect this whole demand for respectful. That's how my father was, but that's how our generation is. Or maybe you still, as a person demand respect from your kids. If you do, God bless that did not work for me. It turns out, um. How else could I say it just, you know, the need to be, right? People, places, things, um, you know, and, and it worked for me, right? Like that, that aggressive attitude worked for me in sales. Meaning I could channel that energy into telemarketing, into prospecting and to door, to door sales. So not that I was being angry towards my prospects, but I could channel that energy towards sales. And, you know, people, I could be of service people. There was guys out there who loved, you know, my age type sales that sort of master of the universe, um, you know, kiss my ass if you don't like me kind of an attitude. Um, bringing that attitude with arrogance, shall we say thanks to my, um, dialogue on the MBA, 88, which again, I would

Speaker 2: 08:55 Encourage you to buy and start recording your thoughts. Cause it's super fun. Um, I'm running, starting to run long in this episode. So just to recap where we are, I'm talking about the anger in a broad sense. And, uh, I'm going to tell you where I absolutely had the awareness that it needed to change and the next steps from there. So look forward to, I suppose it would be part four peace out, have a good day.

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The last episode was a little longer and choppier than I wanted.  I was trying a new app to record  and I didn't know how it worked...   Which reminds me of a lesson I learned as a DJ in San Francisco.  Don't try to learn your mixes on the fly.  And I still don't get to the topic!

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
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  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 Covert anger, subversive anger. Part two. I was recording part one on a different app and I came across a few opportunities to need to pause. And when I would pause it would end to that recording and started over. So I completely lost track of time, which was interesting because I, I... Having a time restraint depth definitely helps me stay on point. And I, when I went back to look at the, the, um, recordings, uh, I saw I was at like 11 or 12 minutes that combined and when, really the point I wanted to make could have been made in eight. And, um, anyhow, I am just giving you insights into the messy, taking the messy action. And perhaps I am not going to go back and record that episode, but indeed blend all the disparate pauses and starts together and let it go anyway with multiple thought loops.

Mischa Z: 01:20 So there you have it. Um, it reminds me of a story when I used to be a DJ. Thank you. I swear. I'm going to get to the subversive or the, uh, covert anger slash subversive anger and how I saw it was affecting me and the, what I did to remove even more levels of that and the positive effects it has had in my life. So that is coming. I swear, but back to the story I was remembering, I was reminded of in my DJ days. So in case you didn't know, I was a DJ in San Francisco, California from approximately 1995 to 98. So for a little three year run there, I was a mobile DJ slash ravey DJ, you get it right? Like I spun music on the techniques. What were those term tables? And actually I was a little ahead of my time because I also spun with CDs on the DENIN.

Mischa Z: 02:31 It was like the Denon 1000 or something like that. And I used to get all sorts of crazy dirty looks and, and people oftentimes were contemptuous of this new paradigm, the digital music paradigm. And of course today, if you look out there at DJ's, most of them are, have gone digital. And it's the random person that breaks out the techniques decks, where they are playing the vinyl music. Anyhow, in my fledgling DJ days back in San Francisco, um, I would, uh, I got this great piece of advice. So I was, I would, I would try, I would practice, sorry. I've got moms coming up behind me who are perhaps louder than me. It turns out they were rollerskating. That's why they were. I thought I was walking at a good clip. They've roller skated by slowly but surely I'll fund is that, oh my gosh, this is an amazing going to be an amazing series of episodes where I am pinging all over the place.

Mischa Z: 03:48 But, uh, a couple of, of, of women clearly new to roller skating going just fast enough to go by, but trying new things, getting outside, God bless them. I encourage you to do the same. And to me to do the same. Thank you. You two ladies who are chatting and roller skating and going by. And actually chatting happily having fun. So God bless them. God bless us. Life is good. Life is fun. Hey birds. Oh my gosh. I am just distracted, like mad today. Anyhow, I would try something new when I was deejaying and I would try it for the first time when I was live. And oftentimes it would go very poorly. Excuse me, like the mix wouldn't work. I didn't know where the brakes were and I was figuring it out on the fly. Clearly back at that time, I did not have enough experience to pull that off.

Mischa Z: 04:57 So this woman who, who was at a party that I was spinning at, comes up to me and says, Hey, Mitch, you don't what you should do. Or, you know, a DJ do is they practice the mixes at home or wherever they practice, they practice it and learn it there. And then once they have the mics, figure it out, then they test it on the audience to see if it is a viable mix or carries the energy or, or brings the moment to where you want it to break. And it was a total aha moment for me. I was like, whoa, okay, I get it. So that's what I started doing. I would practice, I time blocked out the time I took more control of my calendar and blocked times to practice these inspirations that I had get the mix down, right? You're segwaying from one song to another, or perhaps you're popping back and forth or whatever you're doing as a DJ, as a mobile DJ club, DJ, what have you, now this did not guarantee success or that the mix would have the desired effect.

Mischa Z: 06:25 Again, bringing up the energy, bringing down the energy, extending the energy, you know, uh, all these different things you can do as a DJ, but at least puts you in a position to allow it, to have the desired effect. And, uh, I'm going to relate that again to well. So I started doing that and it worked, it was awesome. Um, I wouldn't blow up a set anymore and have people look at me quizzically, and you completely shut down the, the, the whole, the whole operation, shall we say? Um, but it, uh, yeah, so it, it worked and then it would be super cool to see a mix work. So I would get the mixed dialed in and then try it on the audience. And when it worked man, a magical moment, and if it didn't work, no big deal. And actually you could practice. I think this is what comedians do.

Mischa Z: 07:37 They practice there. They work out the, um, you know, the, their joke and they practice it in the small clubs. And when they figure, when they find the jokes that work, then they scale it up to the bigger audiences. So you can do the same thing as the DJ and they can, Hey Russell, if you're listening, what's up, coach Vince. That's what they very much talk about doing, to work on your, if you're working on a speech, of course, practice, write it out, practice it at home. If you're doing the, the webinar or, you know, write out everything, get it dialed in and then practice it on the public and refine it from there. So end of part two, and we've gotten no further on my, my vision about covert, anger, subversive anger that I had back in the day, stay tuned for part three and we will get to the point. I swear, peace out. Oh yes.

Speaker 2: 08:55 And I am actually not quick done. I thought it was so point of the story is I tried the new recording app in a live moment and it totally failed where I should have busted out the app and practiced with it beforehand. And then I'd have known, Hey, this is not the tool for the moment. Um, and that works in so many ways. Be prepared, got your equipment beforehand. Anyway. Now I'm officially done peace out. Part three.

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What is the day going to look like as a result of my fitful night's sleep?  Turns out I may have had some covert or subversive anger issues today.  But first how to do a 4 count meditation.  The power of the hemingwayapp.com

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
  1. Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
  2. Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
• Email me: [email protected]

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Transcript: Intro: 00:01 Imagine a conscious contact with God. So strong that no matter what you are doing or not doing that, no matter what your kids are up to or not up to, and that whether you've got the person of your dreams or they're just not cooperating, that you are happy content and at peace, a space where everyone else's thoughts, attitudes, and actions are beautiful and exactly as they are supposed to be. Well, this is the space where I like to play. My name is Misha Z, and this is today's. Slap. Join me as I shed light on the thoughts, actions, and attitudes that are causing you pain. And we train our minds to go to the capital S inner self, the joy that is waiting for us, the God with him.

Mischa Z: 00:53 I am going to talk about covert anger today. Covert, anger, and how I needed to, uh, have, uh, have awareness that I did indeed have some, perhaps what we would call subversive or covert anger issues. That's what, that's what we're going to talk about today. Um, when I, uh, was, so this morning, I, you know, did my meditation. Man, I slept not so well last night, it was interesting. Um, very tossing and turny. Very, very, um, very inter intermittent. Ooh, I think I'm coming across someone. I know Tony. What's the apps, man. Good, good to see how fun is that? Just got to say hi to Tony. Where was I? Oh yeah, fitful night's sleep.

Mischa Z: 02:10 And I think what's interesting about a fitful night's sleep is as I'm having fitful sleep in that moment, I can be very concerned about what is the day going to be looked, going to look like as a result of my fitful nights, sleep? You know what I mean? Does anybody else had that before? So you're in the midst of your fitful night's sleep and the mind starts projecting. Maybe we could call it, the ego starts projecting. Oh no, what's my day going to be like, I'm going to be tired. How am I going to show up for people? Um, am I going to be, am I going to be exhausted in all my activities?

Mischa Z: 03:07 What else could we say? Um, you get what I'm talking about? It could be anything, or, gosh, am I going to be fitful all night? Am I ever going to fall asleep? And the mind just starts rolling. And I guess the point of this little diversion is that, you know, I had my fitful night's sleep. I woke up, I was actually felt more refreshed than I thought it was going to. So that was a surprise. So all that projecting about I'm going to be exhausted and not be able to get anything done or whatever worries were happening in the fitful moment.

Mischa Z: 03:48 And I headed off to do my meditation, my hour meditation. I do my hour meditation and it's a fun one. Actually, it was pretty good. You know, it's focusing on what, you know, the thoughts would run and then come back to breath and I do a meditation on a four count, oftentimes. So that's what I was doing this morning. And when I see a four count, each out-breath is a countdown from four. I need to figure out a better way to say this, how that works. But so, you know, in breath through the nose; out breath through the nose. Mentally say Four. Next breath in out breath say three. Next breath in and out breath two. And you're saying this to yourself, obviously in your mind. In breath out breath, one. In breath, repeat from four on down. And whenever the, so what happens is you doing the four count? Inevitably the mind will start thinking about things.

Mischa Z: 05:07 And the awareness that I'm thinking about other things becomes evident is that a double, a double positive, the awareness becomes evident. That is funny. Anyway, the awareness that I'm thinking about other things becomes evident. So you come back to the four count and it's a very smooth, aware process. Lots of fun insights are flying around back to the breath. It's funny too, in some of those moments, I can have fear like, oh no, if I go back to the breath, the insights will go away. So I was definitely playing with that thought. And um, so I come out of the meditation. So the meditation is great, good hour meditation. And after the meditation, I was, I would say, surprisingly vibrant and vital. Full of vitality. I dunno if that's the right word, but it was refreshed. Shall we say? Yeah, it was refreshed. That's a great way to say it. So all my worries of I'm going to be tired all day... That may still be yet to come by the way, I might need an app or a new meditation session to find that refreshed attitude.

Mischa Z: 06:50 Um, and so I went into A Course In Miracles and, you know, I had a powerful couple of days. So A Course In Miracles, I'm reading, this is funny. I'm trying recording on a new platform and I lose track of, it's hard for me to find the time. So come out of the meditation, do my A Course In Miracles. And I'm just super, I was so calm and centered and connected. I think that that's a great word to say. I was connected. Like I have was just at peace in the moment, savoring my cup of coffee. Um, very, I hadn't perhaps I'd say spaced out is the right word. I would start my reading the A Course In Miracles. And then the next thing you know, it took me to some starts is what I'm trying to say until I was able to focus on it. The A Course In Miracles, section of a manual for teachers, uh, section three, I think it was, I can't remember what the name was, but again, I was not hard on myself for not focusing, right.

Mischa Z: 08:31 It can be frustrated and I'm not focusing. I have to start again or read that paragraph for the sixth time or that sentence for the seventh time. And that was very much, it's all good. It's all good. I was not tripping at all and having awareness that I was not tripping. So that, that there was very much the feeling this morning in the meditation and coming out in the meditation of the gift of the aware, observing the observer. Is that a way to say it? Uh, um, yes. So my mind was drifting it's it's one of those days. Thanks for hanging in there. If you've made it this far, really the whole point of telling you all about the meditation and such was to say, one of the thoughts that popped up is I was reading A Course In Miracles and I jotted it down was covert anger. I was very memories of my covert anger, um, issues. Had calm, subversive as well. They were so subversive to me and that I was able to definitely justify them. And so my rationalization was subverting my relationship, my happy relationships, how's that? Oh my gosh, Russell Brunson. If you're listening to this, you will not be happy. I'm not using fifth grader, lower words.

Mischa Z: 10:23 Oh my gosh. So many thoughts, streams piling through the brain. But so, uh, I'll, I'll close that loop, uh, Russell Brunson and many others, uh, you know, they say, Hey, when you're talking to the public, oftentimes a very effective way to get your point across is take, keep it simple. Like keep, you know, you don't need to use big words like that can actually distract from your message. And I think about that a lot. Cause I, I love big words. I love looking them up in the dictionary when I come across them. It's fun to, to sometimes, you know, look up words and then see them see that word materialize in your, or in my, um, conversations are writing at a later date. And as a matter of fact, to continue on that loop, um, there's a thing called Hemingway Hemingway app or hemingway.com, Hemingway editor or Hemingway app.

Mischa Z: 11:35 I think it's Hemingway editor.com (it's actually hemingwayeditor.com). I'll put the link, check the link in the show notes. Um, and by the way, does anyone else do this? Does anyone else like throw in the big words, thinking that will make you more effective? I know I do. So if you do, Hey, welcome to the tape. So Hemingway editor, I think that's what it's called. Hemingway editor.com. You can again, check the show, the links in the show enough, you can, you can put in your sentence and it will tell you what grade level you're speaking at and are the sentences too complex are like run-ons or things like that. Or, um, you know, are you using it'll, it'll tell you words that are like, uh, I'm trying to think of the word. Um, well it'll give you recommendations for like past tense, present tense or things like that, or it'll say, Hey, you can actually just omit this word. Fricking love that I've gotten in the habit of going to Hemingway editor.com and, and putting in, uh, sentences things that I'm writing and really using it as a tool to, to be more concise in my thoughts, in my writing and, um, fix run-on sentences and all sorts of stuff.

Mischa Z: 13:18 And it's really fun to use it and then send it out, send out whatever I'm sending out email or, or show notes or something like that. And then read it at a later date and be like, oh yeah, that is much easier to read than my normal writing. Anyhow, the meditation subversive, anger, covert, anger, and the issues that it caused me. And when I had awareness of it and the steps that I took to break free of it, that's what I was was, and am going to discuss. Let's do that for covert anger part two. Okay.

Speaker 1: 14:07 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for spending time with me today, as someone who is committed to growth and service to this world. I so appreciate your willingness to come with me, go within and serve our world through change. If you found value in this podcast and you know, someone who can use this message, share this episode with them, share it. So our mission can be achieved one episode at a time and of course, subscribe so you can hear more. And lastly, for more resources on what has helped me on my journey and can help you on yours, go to be love.media forward slash resources. That's B E L O V e.media forward slash resources. Thank you again for listening.

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I finished the A Course In Miracles (ACIM) "Text" portion.  I've been hard at ACIM for two years.  I give you a high level breakdown of the layout.  I'm astonished that I've come this far with it.  And one of  major breakthroughs I've had.  I relate the impact of studying ACIM for that long to things you may have been studying.

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
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• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
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Transcript: Mischa Z: 00:01 I finished the A Course In Miracles "Text". I just finished the A Course In Miracles "Text". I've been reading that, reading the A Course In Miracles, diligently doing all the exercise every day for, it's gotta be right at two years. And that's what I'm going to talk about today. And it's interesting. It feels like such a major accomplishment. And I was, I've been, I finished it yesterday, actually the Text. So the, A Course In Miracles combined volume is four main sections. There's the "Text", the "Workbook For Students", the "Workbook For Teachers". And I think it's "glossary" of terms or it's something there's a four section. And I, when I started it two years ago, I tried to start with the "Text", the "Text" section. It's about 670 or 675 pages long, composed of chapters. And each chapter has a section and each section is about two to three pages and it's super dense, lots of weighty concepts. And it's written in this double negatives and things like that. I was constantly looking up words and having to reread sentences to try to understand it. What they meant and get through the double and triple negatives even I think.

Mischa Z: 02:16 And so in order, the A Course In Miracles is "Text", which is the 675 pages composed of all the chapters and sections. Then there is the "Workbook For Students", which is 365 daily exercises. And they're thought, um, exercises, meditation practices, um, some of the daily practices, have you say a mantra or a thought or a way to look at things on the top of the hour, every hour. Different things like that. It's really, really cool. And then I've just started the "Workbook For Teachers". And of course there's the "introduction" before all of that. So in the introduction, it says, Hey, you can read these this in no particular order. So if you're not called to read the "Text" first, then do the "Workbook For Students" or do the "Workbook For Teachers" or what have you. So I was trying to read the Text, but it was so weighty and lots of concepts and lots of words that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with.

Mischa Z: 03:57 And so I found it to be a massive struggle and it was not gaining ground in the Text. This was two years ago when I first started. I was just walking past the skate park and they were cranking loud punk ish music. Not the poppy punk that perhaps we're all familiar with, but that edge. More mean. Mean's the right word, more aggression. I know what the word is. I'm looking for it. It doesn't matter. I hit pause and then re-started right now. So, and then of course I was reflecting on. Man, I used to kind of like that music when I was a wee lad and I would skateboard myself.

Mischa Z: 04:55 Yes. When it was a weed, lad and used to skateboard myself who were the bands. Um, there was the straight edge bands cause because I was sober at such a young age and still sober straight line sobriety. Minor Threat, that was one of the straight edge bands. But of course there was the Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, the Sex Pistols, your classic. And then all the other ones, I can't remember. The more famous punk band has just popped into my head. But anyhow, back to the more spiritually weighted matters. Um, of A Course In Miracles in the Text was just not grooving for me. And so I was like, all right, I guess I'll just go to probably try it for a couple of weeks. So I moved on to, um, the Workbook For Students and the 365 exercises. And it was awesome. Highly recommend it to anybody, but I, but I did it one day at a time was very diligent, did not miss a day.

Mischa Z: 06:10 If I went on camping trips, I would, I print out I'd snap, a picture printed out of that days, you know, exercise. And it really transformed my life in a lot of ways. If I was prepared, I would have told, be telling you how it transformed my life, but suffice it to say that judgements have been stripped away massively. Like I just don't judge people, places and things nearly as much. And it's interesting because as I was coming to starting the A Course In Miracles, I was like, I still have this low line judgment. And I don't like it. I don't like placing judgment on what people say, I'm just over it. And then A Course In Miracles manifested my willingness to do the a course of miracles. Finally manifested anyhow, I finished the 365 daily exercises of the Workbook For Students and started, went back to the Text and it was the most amazing thing.

Mischa Z: 07:30 The Text, I could see it in a new light and the concepts were clean and crisp. I was able to get through the double negatives, you know, just awesome. So, so awesome. But I distinctly remember at the beginning of starting the Text, the second time I was like, there are 675 pages, two to three pages a day of way weighty concepts, what, that's a lifetime away. It felt like it was a lifetime away. And it was. So anyway, I just, all of a sudden yesterday I was done, literally. I was like, oh my God, I'm done! And wow. And my life for that next year, we'll tell you about reading that through the COVID through financial stuff, through like it's true, so much cool things have happened, new layers of letting go. I should save it for part two. Um, yes, yes. I will save it for part two, but I just would encourage anybody go buy A Course In Miracles and do it

Speaker 2: 08:56 And jump in the fray with me. You can click in the links in my show notes or on the resources page, www.belove.media/resources. So, so powerful. So look for a part two where I get more in depth into, um, actual changes that I'm aware of. And I'm going to end with this. I have gotten feedback from multiple people on how I've shifted so much, um, from, of course in miracles.

New Speaker: 09:38 So as I was, you know, finished the course in miracles. And then, um, I finished the Text section of A Course In Miracles, the 675 pages, effectively two to three pages a day I got done and I was like, thinking, oh my gosh, I've got to record an episode about this because it's been so profound in my life. The ACIM for short, it's been so profound in my life. And then I was thinking, well, how many books have I read, which are powerful, or what have you, or, you know, I've been reading the big book. You can Google that. What's the big book, um, for my gosh, 35 years now, on and off, it's been so powerful in my life. I was thinking, well, what about, so I was like, well, gosh, I don't know if people will get the gravity of, of finishing the Text section, honestly. So I was thinking about it. I was like, man, I guess I would liken it to, I'm trying to think of any super it's like a college course or something is what I would say. So two years of this course in miracles, it's like college kind of, it's like taking math for two years, plowing through a couple of weighty, you know, math books and, and increasing your capacity for math equations, you know, getting into super fancy stuff. Or maybe, uh, I'm thinking like, um, Metta, no, not metaphysics, uh, like, uh, you know, physics like as people grow, grow and physics. And, and of course now I can't remember any of the terms, but then I was also thinking, well, maybe it's like someone reading the Bible. I've never tried to read the Bible myself, but I know some people have dedicated their lives to Matthew, this and Joseph that to Colin at this. And, you know, and just study a little bit or a lot of it every day. And as they can, maybe maybe people can relate to that or students or people who've taken doctorates, or masters or been to college, or maybe somebody who's, you know, mechanical thing. So learning, you know, going deep on engine stuff for electronics or it's, it's the it's that kind of wait. That was my final thought goodbye.

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In this interview former NFL player, American Ninja athlete, and transformational public speaker Anthony Trucks breaks down the three phases of his "Shift Method".  See, Shift, Sustain.  And the best part, he gives actionable steps within each phase.  You can literally listen to this interview and begin to transform your life.  And he tells amazing stories about crushing quarterbacks in front of 50,000 people!  Um…it’s amazing. 

Administrative: (See episode transcript below)

• Check out Anthony Trucks here: https://anthonytrucks.com/
  • Take his Identity Quiz that helped me so much here: https://go2.bucketquizzes.com/sf/4e63da08
  • Get his book and free gifts here: https://identityshiftbook.com/
• Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummit
• Start podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.
• Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJ
• Get the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNj
• Get A Course In Miracles Here! https://amzn.to/3hoE7sA
• Access my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peace
• See more resources at https://belove.media/resources
• Email me: [email protected]

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Transcript: [music]

0:00:06.4 Mischa Z: Welcome back to The Tools For A Good Life Summit. Right now, I would like to introduce to you Anthony Trucks, Ex-NFL player. This is a foster kid turned NFL athlete and serial entrepreneur with one serious superpower; making shift happen no matter what, by assessing the power of identity. You have overcome 30-plus traumatic life events, navigating the identity shifts that followed. Anthony has come to be known as the leading expert in shifting, which is making a shift internally to elevate how you operate externally, which in turn changes your life. Your system is called the Shift Method, and you weave together neuroscience, psychology, technology, and hard fought life lessons to help anyone with a desire for more in their life, achieve any goal they want or have ever wanted. I especially like this next sentence, "Before making it apparent that their goals were actually set far below their true potential in the first place." I love that. Like tapping into the potential that people don't even know that's there, it's beautiful.

0:01:29.0 Anthony Trucks: And it's beyond, yeah.

0:01:30.2 Mischa: Yeah.

0:01:30.5 Anthony Trucks: Usually, it's far beyond their thoughts. We set limitations on our dreams without even knowing it.

0:01:35.2 Mischa: Yeah, it's amazing. Buckle up, it's time to make shift happen.

0:01:39.5 Anthony Trucks: Shift, shift and move.

0:01:43.6 Mischa: [laughter] So first off, thank you so much for jumping in the fray with me. Very excited. And let's just maybe spend a few minutes, we can talk a little bit about your history and your 30-plus traumatic life events. I just... Looking at your history, one thing that jumped out at me was, you were 14, perhaps struggling a little bit in the foster home system. Yes, and then...

0:02:09.6 Anthony Trucks: Yeah.

0:02:10.3 Mischa: I read a note, you said, "Hey, I was a self-aware kid," and I recognized your pattern and you perhaps needed to change at that point. Maybe speak to that just quickly.

0:02:21.5 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, well it's interesting, when I got to the age of 14, I'd already gone through years of crazy, We'll call it. I was given away at three, so I had a lot of different dynamics woven all into the personality and identity of who I was. It took a lot of years, but after a while, you start to see yourself for who you are. The problem is, I think, we are all self-aware, but we're aware of a self that we've crafted that's not always the most positive, so that's where why we beat ourselves up, "And we're not that good, not that great." And I think there's a separation when you can... In a positive way, a separation when you understand who you are seeing yourself through of the filter of the world, and then who you actually are. There is a difference. And so I think at 14, 15, I was still developing that. It wasn't until I was really like 15, that I got a chance to really see who I was. And I was like, "Oh, that's who you are," 'cause prior to that moment, I saw myself in a light that wasn't the best.

0:03:15.3 Mischa: And was this a conscious change? Or was it sort of it just happened and looking back on it, hindsight, you're like, "Oh." Or was it... Does that question make sense, or...

0:03:31.7 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does make sense. It was more of a hindsight, I think it took time and in the distance, and the background to get it.

0:03:38.6 Mischa: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just on the phone there, now you wanna put the...

0:03:42.3 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, there's someone at the front door, but I'm not gonna talk to him.

0:03:44.9 Mischa: Okay.

0:03:45.6 Anthony Trucks: Somebody delivered flowers to my house, and it was the wrong person. So I think she's taking them, which is good, I hope she takes them to the person that deserves them 'cause someone deserves them, and they were not my flowers, but I'm good now.

[chuckle]

0:03:58.9 Mischa: All good. I'll be able to... We'll strike that. Strike that.

0:04:02.1 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, yeah. Well, we could leave it in, it would just be weird, but that's the scatter brain-brain that is my brain. I'm the only one home, so my dog started barking, I gotta like, "Is someone at the door?" So yeah.

0:04:10.9 Mischa: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:04:11.9 Anthony Trucks: Now, we're good though. That's part of my identity. I can keep rolling, man. I mean you can keep it in, you don't have to keep it in.

0:04:17.9 Mischa: Yeah, no, I love it. And we'll keep rolling. I think it's good.

0:04:21.0 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, it's life.

0:04:21.7 Anthony Trucks: What's that?

0:04:22.4 Mischa: It's life, man.

0:04:23.2 Mischa: That's life, especially these days.

0:04:25.7 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, seriously.

0:04:27.5 Mischa: Yeah. And then of course there was the, your very brief stint in the NFL. And I think the...

0:04:37.5 Anthony Trucks: Yes, three years.

0:04:39.3 Mischa: Yeah, yeah, the striking part there was you only got to play in one pre-season game and then you had an injury, or?

0:04:44.8 Anthony Trucks: Well, my third year, I got hurt in my first pre-season game. So my first year, second year, I was cut the first year, cut the second year, third year, I was finally looking like I was about to make the team. And then I tore my shoulder and the season was over. So that was the first pre-season game. So no, I played in games. It wasn't like I just was there for a year and out of there, but it was, it's unfortunate man, there's a lot of build up to that whole situation, but the NFL is an interesting beast. It's the highest level in the world. So any time you get to the highest level in the world for anything, I don't care if it's the highest level of the world for, I don't know, kitten sock knitting, there's gonna be crazy things that go on, 'cause you got so many people involved, it's cutthroat.

0:05:25.3 Mischa: Cutthroat.

0:05:26.1 Anthony Trucks: It's ruthless. It is demanding at levels that are beyond human typical logic. 'Cause the typical human, I don't think that they... And this is not like saying people are better, right? But you're not typically in a race or in a competition to be the best in the world out of seven billion people, you know what I'm saying? So you're not... You're not at that... So now that you do, it's like the average human doesn't get the logic behind, why would you subject yourself to so much difficulty and pain and anguish? Why would you do that? It doesn't make sense. And I'm like, "It's right, it doesn't make sense that I would live a mediocre life, that is one I don't want to see what I'm fully capable of." It's a back and forth, you know what I'm saying?

0:06:05.6 Mischa: Yeah.

0:06:06.5 Anthony Trucks: So it's not that anybody is right or wrong, it's just, what's logic. And I don't think people use that... "Well, it's not logical." No, it's not logical to your brain, and that's okay. It's not logical that you would marry that person because they're a horrible person. There's just different things that are logic, and so I just... I've got to the point of realizing in life, the beauty is the difference. What is good for me isn't good for everybody else. I'm not a good fit for everybody, and that's okay. That's completely okay, and if you can get to that point, it alleviates so much more stress and anxiety and just weirdness that happens in life.

0:06:40.3 Mischa: It's so empowering, it's very empowering.

0:06:42.4 Anthony Trucks: Freeing, yeah.

0:06:43.1 Mischa: A Place to be. Yeah, frank, I love that. I was curious, did you have any glory moments, sort of those stadium, 50,000 people.

0:06:53.2 Anthony Trucks: Did I? Oh man.

0:06:55.9 Mischa: Yeah.

0:06:56.1 Anthony Trucks: How many do you wanna know about, man?

0:06:57.3 Mischa: Tell me a couple. Tell me, I wanna know.

0:07:00.7 Anthony Trucks: Here's a good one. Here's a good one. Here's a good one. It's two. These two are gonna be Oregon ones 'cause I had fun in Oregon. I had fun everywhere else but Oregon was a good one. So there's one play where we're playing against Arizona State, they had come to our house, junior year, and I'm trying to find, we're trying ball, right? And what happens, it was junior year, it's what it was. And they're at our house and we gotta beat them, we're trying to obviously make our way to get to another level and trying to get some ball game stuff going on, and they come to our house. And there's just this one specific play to where if they line up a certain way I blitz, and if they shift out of that, I don't blitz anymore because they have an extra person. Because if I blitz, somebody's open, so we'd be screwed. It's like 3rd and 12 or something, and the ball is... They get up to the ball, they get lined up. I'm supposed... Slits, they move. I don't realize it. So I am supposed to cover and in my head, I'm like, "I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going."

0:07:52.5 Anthony Trucks: I can see in the video, my line back with a mic sitting next going, "Don't go." You could see his hand motion, but it's Austin Stadium and Austin Stadium is one of the loudest in the country. You can't hear anything. So you gotta know it, and I'm just dialed, "I'm gonna get this dang court," as my head's here. And all of a sudden like you can see me in the balls hike, and I take off. Now, I don't know how that's happened, but their right guard was the guy who's supposed to guard me, guard or tackle, completely misses me, doesn't whatever it is, and the quarterback rolls out to me, and as he's rolling out, I barely... And he gets like a step away, I have to leave my feet, and if both of my hands don't grab this man in mid-air and grab him like a carnival game. You Know. I jump out, I'm in full Superman, I get one hand on his shoulder, one hand on his hip, I take him down and I celebrate, and the whole stadium just erupts, turn over on run downs, and we get the ball back. It was crazy. That was one of them. Another one...

0:08:52.6 Mischa: So first of, wait, wait a minute. So that's on accident that that happens?

0:08:56.0 Anthony Trucks: Oh yeah. After the play, if you look at the video, we have it after the play, I'm cheering my linebacker guy comes up, grabs my helmet, and you can see him yelling at me, "You've messed up, but you didn't mess up. Great job. Don't do that ever again."

[chuckle]

0:09:07.5 Mischa: That's so good. Okay, next one. Okay.

0:09:09.8 Anthony Trucks: Yeah, and then other one was, we're playing against... So at my senior year, I'm balling against... All the teams are playing. I end up leading my senior year, the Pack-10 at the time, in sacks, tackles for loss, forced fumbles and fumbles recovered, I was like 6th in total tackles, but I missed a game against USC to a high ankle sprain, but I was balling that year. And I was doing well, I had three sacks against ASU, as a matter of fact, the next year at their place, and so I'm feeling good about myself and my coach ran a meeting one time we were about to play Cow, Cow is coming up to Oregon. And I'm talking I'm proud of how good I am, he's like great job. He goes, "Hey I don't want you to think you're the greatest," he says, "You ain't the greatest until you go in there, you sack, you force a fumble, you recovered the fumble, you pick it up and score a touchdown. Then you can start talking, right? So he says this and he's serious, but joking at the same time.

0:10:00.5 Mischa: Of course.

0:10:00.6 Anthony Trucks: This was like early in the week. Now we come to the game, I was like the second or third quarter, I can't remember what it was. And they line me up and they give me a blitz, so I'm like, "I'm gonna go get this guy," right? And in my head, I'm not thinking about what he said earlier in the week, I'm just doing my thing. So I come around the bend and the running back goes to block me. Somehow, he misses me completely. I sidestep him, he goes flying by. So I go up, the quarterback doesn't see me, blind sight, sack him. Forced ball comes out, forced the fumble. Fumbles on the ground. We both go to the ground. I recovered the fumble. Now it's college football, so your knee is down, so I didn't score a touchdown. I mean, the whole crowd's erupted. Everybody is crazy. Everybody's... I'm excited, I come to the sideline. I'm high five'ing. Hey man. Hey man, I come to a coac