Talk About Cancer

Michelle shared a lovely story about how her whole family came together to share the caregiving responsibilities when her dad’s health started to decline. And how they worked as an incredible team to support their dad and stepmom in the most difficult times, as well as each other through their grieving process.

Listening to Michelle’s story really warmed my heart. There were similarities in our experiences with our dads’ declines but I was so blown away by the way her whole family came together to support one another and made the experience better and more manageable for everyone. It was also really amazing to hear about the way they are continuing to support one another during their grieving process, and they are going about it in a way that gives each person space to work through things in their own way and on their own time.

One thing that I would like to call out is that sometimes people think the grieving process only starts after your loved ones die, but it often starts way before that point. For many, we experience grief each time a change happens - whether that’s weight loss, having a harder time walking, or experiencing chemo brain. Obviously, these types of changes hit the patients the hardest but caregivers experience grief in their own way as well as somewhat helpless bystanders, which in truth is one of the hardest parts of being a caregiver - is that feeling of not being able to help lessen the suffering your loved one is experiencing.

The other thing that stood out was Michelle’s conversation with her dad - how she told him that he didn’t have to keep fighting for the family. This stood out to me because I so often hear patients say that the one thing they fear the most is what is going to happen to the family members they leave behind. So I thought it was so courageous for Michelle to have had that candid conversation with her dad because it gave him the permission to prioritize his own needs in the time he had left. I never said the same thing to my dad because I assumed he wanted to keep fighting for himself, but lately, I’ve been wondering if that assumption was true just based on what I have been hearing from other patients.

You can find Michelle at https://breatheandbe.net/. She offers many great services and resources for people practicing faith, like meditation, yoga, and journaling.

Please subscribe to the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer patients, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected]. 

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Rudy shared his experience as a brain cancer endurer, about how he learned to embrace new ways to live his life, and identifying a greater purpose that has kept him going beyond two “expiration” dates. He also helped me understand why the term cancer “survivor” is not a universally welcomed label. 

I had a lot of fun talking to Rudy. His mind goes a mile a minute and we covered so many topics in this episode. I appreciated that he very gently called out the fact that he doesn’t like the label cancer “survivor” and it made me wonder why I was so oblivious to the debate about all the different terminologies. But I quickly realized it was because my dad was not a native English speaker and so he didn’t really think of himself in those terms. I use the term “survivor” because it seems to be the most common term used by well-known cancer organizations, but from now on, I will ask each guest what they would prefer to be called, although I still haven’t figured out what to do with my website?!

The other thing Rudy mentioned that stuck with me was about the normalization of death. As he becomes one of the lucky ones to survive beyond his “expiration” dates - which obviously is a positive thing - he also has to deal with the grief of surviving those who were so important to him on his cancer journey. This again is an example of how complex the emotional experience is for people living with cancer and it’s so important for everyone to find ways to take care of their mental health through all the ups and downs.  

You can find Rudy on: 

Twitter: @fschmnn

Brain Cancer Diaries

• Youtube: https://braincancerdiaries.com
• Instagram: @braincancerdiaries
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrainCancerDiaries/

Guys with cancer podcast

• Website: https://guyswithcancer.com
• Instagram: @guyswithcancer
• Twitter: @guyswithcancer
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guyswithcancer

Please subscribe to the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected]. 

Thank you for listening!

Carrie shared her experiences of first being a caregiver to her brother and then becoming a cancer survivor herself. She talks about the anger she still feels about losing her brother but how she has been able to channel that anger towards serving others. As a survivor who’s been in the shoes of a caregiver, she’s taken on the added responsibility of stay strong for her family members because she understands the trauma they have already gone through with losing her brother. 

I had so many thoughts about Carrie’s story, mostly because when I started recording the show, I didn’t really consider the dual experience some of us have to go through as caregivers AND survivors. I was so struck by how Carrie had to comfort her mother about her own cancer diagnosis even though it was no less scary for Carrie to think about. 

Also, I loved how she explained that while things are not always “sunshine, unicorn, and roses” as she says, she knew she would be ok. It’s a subtle difference in words but the difference in mindset is huge. This is also why I think Carrie is able to experience anger - as we vividly heard in her words and voice - but not be immobilized by it. 

Lastly, I couldn't agree with her more about the importance of not compare yours or your loved one’s cancer journey to other's. It is a destructive mental game for most things in life, and you are certainly not going to win when it’s about cancer. 

You can find Carrie at the following places: 

• Website: https://www.coachcarriev.com/
• Email: [email protected]
• Linkedin: Carrie Verrocchio
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarrieVerrocchio
• Instagram: @iamcarrievee
• Clubhouse: @carrievee

Please subscribe to the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected]. 

Thank you for listening!

Stacey shared her experience being a three-time cancer survivor and how the recurring adversity makes her strong and propels her to take the learnings from her own experience to help others recover. She also talks about how the phrase “cancer prevention” just doesn’t sit right with her and why her cancer experience does not conform to the typical Lifetime movie plotline.

I so enjoyed talking with Stacey about her cancer journey.  For someone who has had to go through the cancer experience three times already at such a young age, plus losing family members to cancer, her attitude about life is incredibly admirable. It’s also very inspiring to hear about how she channels the hardships she experienced to help others, and in turn, draws strength from giving back.

A few thoughts about our conversation:

She explained why the term cancer “prevention” can be problematic by inadvertently placing blame on survivors. I never thought about it that way before but as soon as she mentioned it, I knew it to be true just based on my past conversations with other survivors. Her message about not beating yourself up is so important because more often than not, it is not in our control.

It was also interesting to hear her call out the fact that the media’s portrayal of cancer can be rather one-dimensional and the reality of how each person reacts to the treatments can vary a lot.  Cancer treatment for the most common types of cancer has improved significantly in the last few decades to become more effective and targeted, which allows patients to have a better quality of life.

I know I was very grateful when we found that my dad’s first targeted therapy didn’t interfere with his life too much. Although that did change when he proceeded on to the second, third, and fourth lines of treatment.

Please subscribe if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected]. 

Thank you for listening!

Carina and Mila, who are friends and colleagues, have supported each other on different parts of their journeys with breast cancer. We heard some common themes in their stories: 

One of the big ones was the importance of putting yourself first, which they both had to learn over time when they started to feel the negative impact on their mental health. They also talked about how cultural norms sometimes created challenges for them in finding the support they needed and how it was important to recognize those barriers and find support in other ways.

The other that jumped out at me was trusting your instincts. They both gave examples of when they knew something was wrong before any official scans confirmed. This was important because they pushed forward in getting treatment rather than waiting, which would have meant more cancer growth. This was a big lesson for me personally because I am someone who has a tendency to defer to the experts which in this case, would not serve me well.

Last but not least, they both talk about the gifts they got from cancer, whether that was a second chance to address something you neglected, as in Carina’s case, or embracing vulnerability and in turn becoming fearless as Mila experienced. This rings true for me although, in my experience, the “gifts” were not apparent until a later time.

Please subscribe if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected].

Thank you for listening!

I shared my experience with my dad’s death and dying process in this interview. A good friend who is an experienced medical social worker played guest host as she knew a bit about the journey I was on with my dad. Big thanks to her for listening and helping me get the story recorded. As two social workers, we did digress into some intellectualizing about the importance of having conversations with your loved ones and cultural impact on the experience of death and dying.

I talked about “professional criers” at one point in the episode. I made up that term on the spot because I’ve never actually seen this practice in the United States so not sure if there was an official term in English. Upon a quick search in the trusty Google, it appears that “professional mourners” is actually a relatively common practice in many parts of the world, and can be referred to as moirologists. The practice is meant to honor the deceased, as large crowds at the funeral are interpreted as a reflection of the importance of your social status. Just sharing as I found this fascinating!

I also talked about reading the book “Being Mortal” in this episode, which helped me process my own experience after my dad passed away. You can find more info about Atul Gawande and his book on his website.

Please subscribe if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected].

Thank you for listening!

I spoke with Jamie about her journey with breast cancer. She is truly blessed to be able to look in the rearview mirror and call the whole experience a “bump in the road.” Her story highlights how important it is to listen to your body and trust your instincts, as medical doctors can get things wrong too, and you always have to be your best advocate.

There were a few things that stood out for me. First, it’s surprising to hear how often breast cancer gets missed, given how common it is and how much the imaging technology has improved over time. It is something that I’d like to ask a breast cancer specialist one day to understand why that is the case. 

Second, Jamie talked about feeling like she was “cheating on her doctor,” a sentiment not unfamiliar to many of us, especially if you are getting care at these world-renowned facilities. However, as we have heard from Jamie’s experience, it’s more important that the facility is able to provide the best care YOU need, and a second opinion is probably always a good idea.

Jamie was still gushing about how amazing the local facility was after we stopped recording - such as the aromatherapy and music they offered during treatment,  the myriad of support activities from art classes to nutritional counseling. She kept saying that it must have been designed by a woman, and I agree, it really sounded amazing.  Here's the link for the Lynn Women’s Health and Wellness Institute so you can check it out for yourself.

Please subscribe if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. You can let me know which topics you would like to hear more about or share any feedback about the show by going to my Instagram page or email me at [email protected]. 

Thank you for listening!

Hey everybody. This is Serena Hu, I'm your host for the Talk About Cancer podcast.

Cancer has had quite an impact on my life, meaning, three of my close family members have had to deal with five different types of cancer in the last decade. While I have been lucky enough to have not developed cancer myself yet, the experiences I have had as a caregiver and family member have profoundly changed the way I think about many things in life.

So I created this podcast to talk to others about their experiences with cancer because 1) I am genuinely curious about the wide-ranging perspectives and experiences there are, and 2) because I believe that telling and listening to stories helps us make sense of our experiences, and in turn, helps us heal over time.

The guests of this show candidly talk about their triumphs, heartbreaks, fears, and much much more. Like some of the guests have said to me, this is the podcast about things our doctors won’t tell us because as much as they are the experts in the diseases we must deal with, we are the experts on what it’s like to live with cancer. And my hope is that the stories of this podcast can help us all better navigate the hard conversation and relationship challenges that will inevitably come up.

P.S. If you are just finding this show for the first time, I suggest you start by listening to the most recent episodes. And if you find that you enjoy the show, you can support it by subscribing, sharing with others, and leaving a rating or review.

Find me on Instagram or email me at [email protected].