Talking With Dr Toy

Avoidance is a short-term coping strategy that induces a cycle of increasing anxiety symptoms rather than reducing them. It is normal to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and sensations, but there is a cost. As someone stated, "Short-term gain, but long-term loss." There are certain strategies that inform the avoidance trap such as distraction, denial, projection, and safety behaviors such as withdrawing from people, places, and situations. These tools work which is why they are widely used, but they also serve as a double edge sword for long-term healing and restoration. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Happy Father's day to all those dads that are investing in the lives of their children and families. Today may be a day of joy and celebration for some as well as a day of sadness, anger, and grief for others. The God within Christianity is often referred to as Father and even Daddy "abba", however, this reference may also trigger a variety of emotions. Some may contrast and compare God with their earthly fathers, the good, the bad, and the ugly. God has many attributes and one to highlight is that He is relational. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Avoidance may be considered a main ingredient many individuals use when navigating some of life's difficult, uncomfortable, and painful moments. "It's normal to avoid or push away whatever feels intense or uncomfortable" (TherapistAid). Avoidance does offer some relief which is why many use it as a coping strategy. However, the relief is temporary and it often induces a string of events that may worsen depressive and anxiety symptoms. Let's talk about the Avoidance Trap. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

A growth mindset has been defined as a belief that gifts, abilities, talents, and skills can be developed with work, practice, and perseverance. Individuals with a growth mindset view failures as opportunities instead of obstacles which can help them create and achieve goals as well as fulfillment. Psychologist, Carol Dweck, coined the term and determined that individuals with a growth mindset tend to be more motivated, determined, and resilient versus discouraged, despondent, and stagnant. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

The psychological meaning of a deficit mindset is a type of thinking that focuses on negative self talk. persistent comparison to external standards and a sense of inadequacy. Deficit thinking can also lead to a fixed mindset that cultivates an attitude and belief system of limitations, impossibilities, and that nothing will change no matter the amount of effort. The deficit mindset may inform how individuals view people, themselves, and situations which eventually may lead to a sense of apathy, stagnation, and missed opportunities. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

The past few series regarding imposter syndrome have addressed the what, the why, and the how. It is now time to begin the process of effectively managing imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the first step entails honesty which can be a major hurdle to overcome. Honesty is vulnerable but necessary because ignorance and avoidance will not move individuals toward a process of effectively addressing the symptoms. It's difficult to treat something that is not identified so acknowledging it can be very empowering. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

There are many facets involved in seeking to understand the origins of imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the makings of imposter syndrome may entail family origins and dynamics, personality traits such as neuroticism, low-self efficacy, perfectionism, transitions and new beginnings, and social anxiety. These aspects may inform some core beliefs and values individuals may hold about themselves which fuels imposter syndrome. Shame may also be one of the main culprits that keep individuals from exploring and managing imposter syndrome. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

According to Young, imposter syndrome may manifest in several ways such as agonizing over the smallest mistakes, self-doubt, constant self-criticism of one's own performance, and the constant fear of not living up to others or even one's own expectations. The weight and heaviness of this burden may induce symptoms of hypervigilance and a psychological toll on one's quality of life where life is reduced to living to work instead of working to live. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Imposter syndrome has been defined as the "psychological experience of feeling like a fake or phony" where individuals doubt their abilities, skill set, intellect, or creativity to achieve a certain level of success. "Approximately 70 percent of Americans experience these invasive and negative thoughts" which can induce symptoms of anxiety and even depression. Dr. Valerie Young identifies 5 types of imposter syndrome: Perfectionist, expert, natural genius, soloist, and super person. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Showing up authentically in places can be a daunting task especially while living in a culture that promotes comparisons, competition, and imitation. There's a message in the noise that conveys being oneself if not in alignment with society's, community's, and other's expectations; is unacceptable, a deficit, even a liability. Individuals may be encouraged to believe if they can't be everything to others; they are not anything to anyone. This induces wear and tear on individuals' psyche and self-perception. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com