Talking With Dr Toy

Love and belonging are needs listed in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Love and a sense of belonginess provide a sense of anchoring and connectedness that humanity desperately desires but simultaneously fears. Opening up to love and admitting a desire to belong is vulnerable and scary due to past hurts. Some may deny the need to belong or try to avoid experiencing love but it doesn't mean the need goes away. That heart space just remains starved and malnourished. A passage states that God is Love and that is good news. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Core values are discovered which takes intentionality, reflection, and a nonjudgmental stance. Someone stated, "What you are doing equals to what you want in life." For some this statement holds some truth, for others it may create space for reflection because maybe what you're doing doesn't equal to what you truly want in life. Jeffery identifies several steps to discovering values which include: Discovery, activation, expression, prioritization, and self-care. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Value led living has been described as a means of being true to ourselves and a compass to making decisions that resonates with our beliefs. "Values aren't selected; they're discovered. We don't choose our values. Our values reveal themselves to us." Values may inform our actions but it doesn't always mean our actions represent our values. According to Jeffrey's, sometimes we violate our values when they remain unknown therefore creating an inner tension that may induce incongruent and unhealthy behaviors. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Values have been defined as "an enduring belief upon which a person acts." Values have been described as "a compass that guides individuals toward their purpose whereby by connecting to and activating them daily induces nourishment, motivation, and fulfillment." How individuals invest their time may not be a true indicator of their authentic values so it begs the question. What are your values and are you living a value-led life? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Invalidation induces invisibility as well as a sense of rejection. Validating other's emotions entails finding a kernel of truth in someone's emotions, perspectives, and experiences. Emotional validation is a core aspect of maintaining healthy relationships with others as well with self. Tune into the podcast for more information www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Rejection sensitivity is literally painful in that "the brain responds to social pain in a way that is similar to the way that it responds to physical pain." Rejection sensitivity has been defined as "severe emotional sensitivity and emotional pain" induced by perceptions of rejection from others. The avoidance to experiencing rejection may severely impact individual's lives. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Perfectionism gives the illusion of control and remains the culprit of much stress and anxiety. Perfectionism is a vicious cycle that is supported by unrealistic expectations, an unhealthy view of rejection, and riddled with rigidity. Eventually, it chips away at individual's self esteem, view of self, and the consumption leads to missed moments of contentment in present day living. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

In my therapeutic work, what often lies beneath much of the emotional distress is the trio of perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation. The treat of the trio is that they seem to yield short term benefits, but the trick is the long term cost. The intersection of this troubling trio can softly kill the quality and quantity of life for many. Perfectionism may be considered as an illusion but it remains a reality for many, rejection literally causes pain, and invalidation cultivates the sense of invisibility and worthlessness. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Health and vitality are celebrated and a certain level of athleticism is even idolized in society. The media promotes an enriched lifestyle entails youth, strength, power, and able-bodied individuals. In reality, ageism, illness, and health issues are less highlighted and even buried as if these aspects disrupt the fantasy perpetuated by the media. These notions of health often develop into stigmas internalized by others who don't fit the media's portrayal. Unfortunately, this internalization often leads to shame and isolation. Tune into the podcast www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

October has been designated as Domestic Awareness Month. Similar to some sentiments of Halloween some individuals are living lives that resemble horror stories and lack safety within their own homes. Unfortunately, there remains so much stigma, shame, and embarrassment regarding domestic violence, that some literally take this secret to the grave. Startling statistics are evident that domestic violence is a common occurrence for some within this society and this requires not only awareness but intervention. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.