Something interesting happens when families get together where the adult children fall right back into the roles they had when they were 13 years old. (At least that is what happens in my family.)

This happens not only when a whole family comes together, but also within certain relationships. No matter how much growth we have gone through as an adult, we fall back into our old patterns.

In this interview Gary Williams talks about the stress that can be caused by the dominant personalities which ruled our responses as children and how we can tap for them.

A few weeks ago I was at a conference in which Daniel Pink was talking about the sales process. One of the stories he talked about was a door to door brush salesman. He wasn't talking about someone from some bygone era.

He was talking about a man who in 2015 sells brushes door to door in the business district of San Francisco.

The salesman described his experience as "every day I face an ocean of rejection". I couldn't imagine an daily existence like that.

Fear of rejection is a powerful force in not taking action in both our professional and personal lives. "No" can feel like the scariest word in the English language.

Today's audio is another example of me tapping in real time for an issue that I struggle with. Take the time to tap along with me.

When it comes to using EFT effectively I think that Jondi Whitis is one of the best. She is insightful, deliberate, and so compassionate. (She is also a great trainer if you are looking to up your tapping game.)

Every year she hosts a wonderful event outside NYC called the Spring Energy Event. (You should join the mailing list and come along next year!)

This year she gave a talk called "The Heart Of EFT!" It was one of the most thoughtful reflections I could imagine on the healing process. As I was sitting at the sound board making sure everyone could hear her clearly my thought was, "I have to share this on the podcast!"

Jondi was kind enough to allow me to share her talk here.

Take your time to savor this, it will inform not only the way you tap and the way you work, but also how you interact with others.

It is good stuff!

I love receiving questions from my listener and readers. They help me to understand what the community needs and how I can best serve you.

You can always ask a question here.

The question I get more than any other is "What are the right tapping phrases for [insert issue]?" (emphasis added)

I can understand where this question comes from.

When most people learn EFT they are taught to say words. When we see an expert practitioner leading someone else we marvel at the "perfect" phrases they use in the moment.

This leads us to believe that there are perfect and right phrases.

In reality this is not the case. There are phrases that are more useful than others, but there is no right and wrong.

In this audio I will teach you some of the ways I come up with tapping phrases that will make your tapping more effective.

Today's epidsode is sponsored by PRM

Over the last few years I have noticed a pattern with a number of my clients. It would play out something like this...

As I researched what all these clients had in common it turned out that all of them had come to me for an issue that had been with them a long time and the actions they were taking were no longer motivated by the root cause, but had instead become a habit.

In this audio from the 2015 Spring Energy Event I show you how this phenomina happens and 5 times you can do clear the habbit created by root issues after you clear the root issue.

(Today's show is sponsprted by PRM)

One of the things that makes EFT so appealing is the fact that it can be easily combined with other tools and protocols. There are actually very people I know who do just EFT.

The problem with this for a newcomer to EFT is knowing what is EFT and what is the stuff that is put on top of EFT. This become even more complicated for Christians because often times the things that EFT is combines with are things that many Christians are not comfortable with.

Most people who visit this site don't know that since 1997 I have traveled the US and Canada working in Catholic youth ministry with the group [APeX Ministries](http://apexministries.com). We have work with hundreds of thousands of young people. We were even Pope John Paul II opening act in 2001.

Because of this I have had the opportunity to give a lot of thought to and have a lot of conversations about is it OK for Christians to be using EFT.

To be clear, I am not a theologian or am I an ecclesial minister (meaning I am commissioned by or speaking for the church). There are the questions I asked, the reasons I feel comfortable using EFT, and the setting I feel comfortable using it within.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

This week's podcast is sponsored by Pain Relief Miracle. Click link for 20% off your order.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make with tapping is the fact that they don't spend enough time with an issue to make sure that it is cleared.

Because tapping brings relief so quickly in the moment it makes it easy in the moment to feel like we are done with the issue, but in reality we often time aren't.

A good way to think of it is to compare it to cleaning a room. When you are cleaning you feel so good as you are making progress. You feel satisfied with a job well done.

Then you leave the room (even for a few moments). When you come back you realize the room wasn't was clean as you thought to begin with. It is not that the room got messier, but when you were cleaning the room you could see it was so much better than before.

Upon returning you were no longer comparing it to how bad it was, but instead you are seeing it for what it is.

When we tap the same thing happens. While tapping we are only comparing our current state to what we just moved through, but we don't always have a clear picture if we have done enough.

In this week's podcast I share how we can know if we are 100% (and if we even need to be 100% clear).

I am always amazed at how willing my clients are to share some of the most private parts of their lives.

Once we have established a trusting relationship, during sessions I hear it all. That is a really good thing because it makes it easier for me to help them because we know what we are going after.

Even with that being true, the one issue that my client have the hardest time sharing about is loneliness.

As we become more emotionally intelligent it is easier and easier for us to be honest with where we are coming from. Still loneliness feels like the last emotion that we can be honest about.

Loneliness feels like such a failure on our part. Especially when we feel it in a room full of people.

Here is some tapping that you can do to help with the ache of loneliness.

I would love to hear how it works for you.

We know that when we are trying to make a change but not taking the required action we need to find out what is behind our resistance.

We can ask ourselves what the penalties are for trying, for failing, and for succeeding. But sometimes these questions aren't helpful in discovering why we are resisting taking action.

When that happens to me I use this three-step version of hero tapping. Hero tapping is a handy tool where we use the example of someone doing what we want (aka the hero) to discover the reasons we are resisting stepping into action.

In this short audio I will show you how easy it is to use hero tapping to discover the reasons you are resisting taking action for both big and small goals.

When working with clients I have noticed that people often believe change is possible and they believe EFT is the tool that will help them to make that change...but they don't believe it is possible for them.

They tell me stories of how they have made too many bad choices, their family history runs too deep, or their habits are just too ingrained.

Over and over again I have heard them say, "It's just too late to change."

When a part of us doesn't believe it is possible for us to change, it’s very difficult to transform because we don't want to waste effort.

We think, "Since this isn't going to work out in the end why would I bother putting forth any effort to make change?"

And when this happens it is obvious that nothing will change.

Here is a tap-along audio for when it feels like you are too far gone and that transformation just can’t happen for you.

Download it. Listen to it again and again. Each time you tap through it you are creating a little more room for hope. Hope is key to taking action.