Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT

Not all stress is created equal.

There are those hyper stressful times, like driving on icy roads in a snowstorm at rush hour. It is super intense in the moment and then when it ends, it is over!

Then there is the low-grade stress of something that is taking a long time and is hanging over your head. The example I think of from my own life is doing my business taxes.

I'm not especially good at doing my taxes because I only look at the task once a year; it is also a big deal and if I make a mistake, there can be major consequences. This is a stress that is ever-present and feels oppressive, but is not all-consuming. It also doesn't last forever because at some point my taxes will be filed and I will be able to move on…until the next year!

Finally, there is the type of stress that never seems to end. When thinking about this type of stress, I think about a postal worker sorting mail.

No matter how hard they work, there will always be more mail coming down the conveyor belt for them to sort. There is the pressure of needing to get their task done quickly, because more mail is coming, AND there is the stress of there being no end in sight.

Of the three types of stress listed above, the third is by far the hardest to tap for.

This week in the podcast, I share with you how I tap for issues (not just stress) that will always be there.

It works for stress, feeling overwhelmed, and persistent physical issues, to name just a few common issues.

Because straightforward tapping doesn't work well for this type of stress, we are unlikely to tap for these issues because it feels fruitless.

The simple process I share in this week's podcast is one you must know.

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One of the most consistent struggles my clients have is coming up with the "right" words.

The problem is there is no such thing as the right words when it comes to tapping. Instead there are useful words and unuseful words.

I am consistently surprised at some of the types of words that end up being useful. One such type of surprising words is when we are tapping on phrases that we intellectually know not to be true.

When I ask my clients to tap on phrases that they know aren't true this is natural resistance. One on level it doesn't feel logical and on another there can be the fear that we are tapping in something bad or untrue.

This week in the podcast I explore the power of tapping on phrases that we know intellectually are untrue and how to get the most out of doing exactly that.

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Grief is unlike all other emotions when it comes to tapping.

Every other negative emotion is something we can step out of.

I can stop feeling angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed.

Grief on the other hand is something that we are going to feel forever. Twenty years after a loved one has died we are still going to feel pangs of grief.

Instead of leaving grief, we have an evolving relationship to it and how we live with it.

Because this is the case it requires a different approach when we are tapping.

This week in the podcast I explore the unique nature of grief and how you can use tapping to heal our relationship to it.

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We often refer to tapping for stress and feeling overwhelmed as emotional first aid. That is because we are applying a tool for quick relief in the moment in the same way we would use first aid for a physical injury.

But there is one key difference between first aid and emotional first aid.

When we are physically injured, our first thought is "I need to take care of this right now!" When we need emotional first aid, we are so caught up in our emotions that we don't realize we need to do something about what we are feeling.

Listen to this week's podcast to learn how to use tapping as an emotional first aid tool and how to ensure you reach for tapping in the moments you most need it.

Because it doesn't do you any good to know how to tap for stress, but don't actually do it! Following these simple steps will ensure you tap more and short circuit stress and overwhelm promptly.

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A number of years ago I was visiting my friend "Mike" and his family.

Mike asked his youngest son, who was about five at the time, to tidy his room before dinner.

His son replied, in the most overwrought and dramatic voice possible, "But whyyyyyyyyyyyy? I am just going to make it messy again!"

I can relate!

There are SO MANY tasks on my to-do list that I dislike doing and there are even some that I despise.

In this week's podcast, I share some simple ways you can clear your resistance to doing the tasks you despise.

I can't promise that tapping will make those tasks enjoyable, but you will get more done and you won't have those dreaded tasks hanging over you any longer.

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There is a huge difference between bouncing back from being tired and being exhausted.

When we are tired, we simply need to refill our tank.

When we are exhausted, we first have to recover from being exhausted before we can even consider refilling our tank.

In this week's podcast, I share seven simple ways you can help yourself when you are feeling exhausted or emotionally drained.

And the great thing about these seven ideas is that you don't have to do them all in order to bounce back. Instead, you can pick and choose the two or three that work best for you.

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One of the hardest parts of being a caring person is witnessing others in pain.

When we see someone struggling, it feels natural to want to step in and help.

With that being said, there is a fine line between being helpful and taking responsibility for someone else's suffering.

This becomes doubly hard where emotional burdens are concerned. While we might be able to assist with practical struggles, we can't pick up someone else's emotional struggle.

In this week's podcast I explore:

• Why we are prone to picking up other people's emotional burdens
• How to release these burdens without feeling unkind or selfish
• How to avoid picking up the emotional burdens of others in the future

If you care deeply about others but often find yourself overwhelmed by their emotions, this episode is for you.

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There is this moment in every tapper's life when we move from "This tapping thing is amazing" to "Oh my goodness there are soooooo many issues for me to tap on. Every time I clear one issue I find four more!"

It's easy to feel frustrated and demotivated when this happens.

You might even stop tapping altogether because it feels like the tapping is creating more problems than it is solving (when we know it is really just uncovering what is already there).

This week in the podcast, I share with you what I do when I feel overwhelmed with all the work I need to do and the fact that there seem to be so many emotions.

By tapping in this way we can move from feeling overwhelmed by our emotions, to recognizing it is just one more step on our healing journey.

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Over the years, so many of my clients and students have told me that two of the biggest obstacles preventing them from sitting down to tap are having too many issues so that they don't know where to start, and the fear that their emotions will be too big to handle when tapping.

It makes total sense that these obstacles make it hard for us to tap because they are both rooted in our subconscious mind's wish to keep us safe.

When it comes to having too many issues, the subconscious mind is worried about us wasting time. It is concerned that we are going to pick the wrong issues or an issue that will not make a big difference. Even though we tap, we aren't doing it in the most useful way. So, in order not to waste our time, we get around to tapping at all.

Where being overwhelmed with emotions is concerned, the subconscious is just trying to keep us safe. It knows how deeply we can feel emotions and it doesn't want to feel the pain of being SUPER emotional.

This week in the podcast, I share a simple way for you to overcome both of these issues so that you can tap in the most useful way and allow healing and transformation to happen.

The process is called the Container Process. Listen to the podcast to learn the process, when it is best used, and follow along with my demonstration. You don't even have to memorise the process, just follow along and tap as I do all the heavy lifting.

This is a process every tapper should know.

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Even though we might not be conscious of it, every time we sit down to tap, our desire is for total, instantaneous, eternal transformation.

While our desire makes a lot of sense, there are two obstacles in our way.

First, we don't always have access to total, instantaneous, eternal transformation. For better or worse, sometimes transformation just takes time. Second, swift transformation isn't always the safest way for us to move forward.

This week in the podcast, we explore our relationship (and frustration) with how long it can take to heal, how we can be sure we are SAFELY getting the most out of each round of tapping, all the while not being too discouraged by the pace of change.

Once I understood and embraced these ideas, it actually improved the quality and speed of my transformation. I found that slowing down allowed me to heal more quickly, which has also informed the work I do with my clients and students.

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