There is a music beneath all things. It does not begin and it does not end. It is not written on paper, nor played by instruments, yet it moves through every breath, every silence, every ache. The harmony of presence is not the absence of discord.

It is the great embrace that allows every note to be heard — grief and wonder, longing and release, all woven into a single field of being.

When I rest in presence, I hear this harmony. It is the quiet joining of spirit and form, the soft recognition that nothing stands apart. Love is the conductor, silence the score, and life itself the orchestra.

We do not need to create this harmony. It is already here. Our task is only to listen — to become still enough, tender enough, to let the music find us.

In that moment, there is no division, no striving, no loss. There is only the simple song of being, and we are already home within it.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

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There is no shame in laying down the sword.

Not every path is meant to be fought for.

Sometimes the deeper wisdom is to let the stream flow softly around the stone —

To rest this weary heart awhile,

And trust that life will bring the next wave in its own time.

I am enough.

The path is unfolding — still and always.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

33

A presence-centered reflection on what self-care truly means— not as indulgence, but as a sacred act of return.

A Threshold of Return

Let us begin not in speech, but in stillness. A single breath… A quiet coming home. Let the room soften. Let the body arrive. We hear the phrase often now: “self-care.”

It shows up on the lips of influencers, in wellness blogs, in the crisp packages of products meant to soothe. But the truth is: Self-care is not something we do after we’ve burned out. It is not a reward for having survived. It is the remembering of our original worth.

A turning inward, toward the sacred being who lives within us — the one we so often forget in our giving, our holding, our running to meet the needs of the world.

The Myth of Self-Care

We’ve been taught that self-care is something we earn — a spa day after burnout, a reward after productivity. But in truth, self-care is not a reward. It is a remembering. A remembering that I am not the sum of what I produce.

That I, too, am a life worth tending to. There are those who care for everyone but themselves. They are often the ones who show up at the threshold — depleted, yearning, aching for something they can’t name.

What Self-Care Truly Is

Self-care is not only what you do. It is how you relate to yourself as you move through the world. It is the breath between the tasks. The hand on the heart before you answer the phone. The moment you say: “No, not today. Today I rest.”

Simple Practice:

Place your hand on your chest. Notice the breath. Just for a moment, do nothing. Let that be enough.

The Sacred in the Ordinary

Self-care can be infused into tea-making, walking, breath, prayer, gardening, saying no, receiving help. Self-care is not just what you do when you're falling apart. It is what keeps you from forgetting who you are. To care for the self is not separate from devotion. It is devotion.

You are a temple. You are the vessel of Presence. What would it mean to tend to yourself as a sacred offering?

The Resistance to Self-Care

There are old messages many of us carry: It’s selfish. Others have it worse. I don’t deserve it. But what if the part of you that needs care is not weak… but holy? What if that longing is the voice of Love within you, saying: Return. Tend to the garden of your own soul.

Somatic Balance as the Ground of Emotional Intelligence

Definition

Somatic balance is the felt-sense experience of being in right relationship with the body — its rhythms, needs, breath, posture, and internal environment. It is not perfection of health, but a harmony of presence.

When this balance is intact, the nervous system becomes a field of clarity rather than chaos. When it is disturbed, the soul’s voice is muffled.

Symptoms of Somatic Imbalance

• Shallow, upper chest breathing

• Disconnection from hunger, thirst, or fatigue• Emotional volatility or numbness

• Racing thoughts, looping anxiety, difficulty centering

• Digestive upset, muscle tightness, adrenal overdrive

• A constant sense of urgency, even in silence

Emotional Cost

Somatic imbalance directly affects emotional intelligence.

It clouds perception, reduces resilience, and makes Presence inaccessible.

Emotional intelligence arises through a body that is regulated, attuned, and allowed to feel.

Practices of Return

Breath: Slow inhale (4), hold (4), long exhale (6)

Grounding touch: Hand on heart and belly

Hydration: Sacred water, received slowly

Earthing: Bare feet on ground, letting the earth hold you

Daily pause: At thresholds, between tasks, before deciding

These are not fixes. They are invitations back to balance.

Final Transmission: A Blessing for the Body

Beloved body, vessel of soul, instrument of breath and bone and ache — May you be tended. May you be heard. May you be met with the same love you have held for others. When you tremble,may you not be punished. When you ache, may you not be dismissed.

You do not exist to perform. You exist to carry love. May peace find you. May balance remember you. May Presence return — not just to your mind — but to your marrow.

 Closing Invitation

You cannot pour from an empty cup. But more than that — you do not exist to pour alone. Not to change everything. Not to overhaul your life.

But to begin with one act of remembrance: Drink your tea slowly. Rest your back against the wall. Step outside and feel the air. Lie down and feel the earth carry you.

And if all else fails… place your hand on your own heart and whisper: “I’m still here. I’m listening now.”

May you become your own sanctuary. Where silence lives.

Where love is remembered. Where wholeness begins again. Nigel Lott

In a world veiled by illusion and noise……where confusion masquerades as clarity and conflict often drowns out meaning—truth remains a light that awakens the soul. Yet when truth is delivered without care or held without compassion, it can wound more than it heals. For truth to become a vehicle of transformation, it must be carried gently…..contained within spiritual boundaries that shield our inner life, and infused with the harmonizing presence of love.

Those who have walked the mystical path through the ages have known that truth is not always a comfort. It can liberate, yes…..but it can also unsettle, dismantle, and expose. When spoken without discernment, truth becomes a blade rather than a balm. This is why boundaries are essential…..not to divide, but to safeguard. They create the sacred space in which truth can be shared with grace and received with openness. They help us stay whole while engaging the world honestly.

And then there is love.

Love is not an addition to truth, but its essential companion. It is the frequency that softens what truth reveals. With love, boundaries become not fortresses, but sanctuaries. Truth becomes not a force of destruction, but of healing.

Without love, truth can become harsh. Without love, boundaries may breed distance or fear. But when love holds both—when truth is offered with compassion and boundaries are drawn with wisdom…..we participate in something divine. We become messengers not only of insight, but of deep, sacred change.

In these uncertain times, may we walk with clarity. May we speak with honesty, protect our spirit with care, and above all, move through the world in love.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

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Knowledge can tell us what needs to change. It offers the facts, the reasons, the clarity. It can show us what’s broken—and even suggest what might be better.

But knowing something… doesn’t mean we’ve changed.

Real change—the kind that reshapes a life, the kind that moves us from the inside out—comes not from the mind, but from the heart.

You can understand a thing a thousand times in your head and still not take a single step in your being.

Because until that knowing is felt—until it becomes tender, lived, held with love—it hasn’t yet become wisdom.

Wisdom is different. Wisdom is knowledge that has been softened. It has passed through the fire… through sorrow, through surrender… and come out the other side as something quieter. Kinder. Truer.

Wisdom lives in the heart.

It doesn’t rush.

It doesn’t insist.

It waits. It calls—gently—and lets us come when we’re ready.

So yes, learn. Read. Listen. Understand. But don’t stop there.

Let what you’ve learned drop down—into the quiet of your own heart. Let it rest there, in the stillness… Let it steep in your tears, your longing, your love.

And then, when the time is right, let it rise—not as something to strive for, but as something that’s already true in you.

That’s where real change begins.

That’s where we begin again.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

Begin by finding a quiet space. Sit or lie down comfortably. Let your eyes gently close. Take a slow breath in through your nose, and exhale softly through your mouth. Let your body begin to settle, like a feather drifting to the earth. Again, breathe in… and breathe out.

Feel the ground beneath you — not just as surface, but as presence. Let it hold you like an ancient friend. Beneath you lies a living, breathing earth that has witnessed storms and stars, oceans and fire. You are resting upon something wise.

Now gently bring your awareness to your body. Let your attention drift from the crown of your head down to your toes. Where is there tension, tightness, or holding? Perhaps it’s your jaw, your shoulders, your chest, your belly, your hands. No need to change anything. Just notice. You are witnessing the body’s deep intelligence — its instinct to protect.

Imagine now that this tension has a shape. What does it look like? Is it jagged, dense, heavy? Is it dark, or glowing, or muted? This is the geometry of resistance — a sacred architecture created by your nervous system. It is not wrong. It is a part of your story. It once helped you survive.

Silently, gently say to this shape: “Thank you for protecting me. You may rest now.” Take a soft breath into that area. And as you exhale, imagine the edges beginning to dissolve. They don’t vanish; they simply soften, like mist in the morning light.

Now bring your attention to your heart. Imagine a warm light glowing there — gentle and circular. It may be golden, rose-colored, or whatever tone your soul instinctively trusts. This is the geometry of surrender. Not collapse, but opening. Not giving up, but letting go.

With each breath, let this light grow. It expands from your heart into your chest, your shoulders, your arms. It flows down through your legs, up into your face and crown. Soon, it begins to radiate out beyond your body — a sphere of soft light that gently surrounds you. You are luminous.

Repeat silently to yourself: “I am safe to soften. I am safe to receive. I am safe to trust.” Let these words become like ripples in a still lake, moving outward from your heart into the silence.

Now lift your awareness beyond your body. Rise gently above the space you’re in — above your room, your home, your city. Let your consciousness ascend above the earth, floating lightly in the star-filled stillness of space. See the earth below — spinning, glowing, alive. You are part of this wonder. You are not separate. You never were.

Feel your heart shining in harmony with this vastness. This is not imagination; this is remembrance. You are the meeting point of spirit and form — a sacred expression of the infinite.

If any resistance returns, that’s okay. See its shape. Breathe into it. Soften its edges. Meet it with kindness, just as you did before. You are not here to fix anything. You are here to listen, to open, to return.

Now take one more deep breath. Inhale clarity. Exhale softness. Inhale light. Exhale trust.

Begin to return. Gently descend back to your body, like a soul returning to its temple. Feel the ground beneath you again — quiet, strong, awake. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Bring movement back with reverence.

When you’re ready, open your eyes slowly. Look around. Let the world come into focus.

And carry this spaciousness with you — into the next breath, into the next moment, into the sacred rhythm of your life.

Nigel Lott …teaandzen.org

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The One Who Beats the Heart

A guided meditation for those listening beyond the breath.

Let the body be still. Let the breath soften. And for a moment… do nothing at all. Let the silence rise up from beneath you.

Let it settle around your shoulders, like a robe made of dusk. Feel your heart. Not with your hand — but with your awareness.

With your presence. As if listening to something ancient and holy within the cave of your chest. Let this truth return: I do not beat this heart.

It beats within me — as if from somewhere else. Somewhere closer than breath. It began long before I had a name.

Before story. Before time. Before I forgot.

It moves without asking. It moves without question. A quiet rhythm, calling me from the unseen into this moment. And back again. Not a machine. Not a task. But a signal. A remembering. A vow kept by something that has never once left.

Listen… Each beat is a whisper: I am here. You are here. We are not separate.

Even now, as you sit in stillness, the heart continues. Not because you command it, but because you are still being loved into existence.

When the last beat comes, you will not be lost. You will be returned — to the One who’s been with you all along.

And until then…let the heart be enough. Let the breath be enough. Let this silence be enough. Rest here, as long as you need. The Presence will keep beating within you.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

This is a work of the soul — an offering of presence through Tea & Zen, tending the unseen spaces of love and awakening. Your support allows these streams of silence and grace to continue flowing into the world.

Venus—the morning star—radiates deep feminine wisdom. In mystical cosmologies, she is linked to Sacred Wisdom, that births the world through Love. Embodying the quiet power of the awakened heart, the beauty that heals, and the love that endures.

Little one, Breath of the Sacred—

You came through the veil so gently, not new, but familiar— as if you’d always been here, resting in the silence between heartbeats, waiting for the world to soften enough to feel you.

May the earth hold you with tenderness, may the trees speak your name, may silence be your first companion— not in words, but in wonder. If ever the ache of living finds you, may you still know this: you are never outside the arms of love.

You are blessing— not for what you do, but simply for being. a light the dark cannot touch. a thread of the Sacred woven through it all.

welcome, Juniper.

welcome home.

In the hospital, where I volunteer, there are people with no visitors, no family, no hand to hold at the end. I sit with them in their final hours. By the time I’m called, it’s usually their final days — sometimes only hours.

They can no longer speak. Some are already far away — their breath faint, their eyes dim, the body slowly letting go. I don’t come to fix or to speak.

I come to be there. This isn’t ministry. It isn’t counseling. It’s not even prayer in the usual way. It’s soul to soul, spirit to spirit.

That quiet place where there’s two hearts but only One Love. I enter the room with silence. There’s nothing to stir, nothing to save.

What is happening is already being held by something far greater than me.

I sit.

I breathe.

I wait.

I witness

Something shifts — Presence meets presence. rarely seen, but always real.

When the breath fades, I bear witness. Even when I’ve left the room, or gone home to return the next day, I keep holding them in the quiet. Still keeping watch.

This work asks for everything. No role. No agenda. Just presence. And so I sit.

Until it’s done, And even after — still and listening, as the Mystery unfolds.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, There is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, The world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other Doesn't make any sense.” Rumi

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Finding our way to our heart's truth with an open heart in humility.