Lacking the will to choose the book for the final recording of the year, Bookbarella did what her people do in crisis - go to the library to watch the European cut of Twin Peaks on laser disc. While there, she perused the stacks until a ticket for MBTA: The Musical fell out of a book with a particularly terrible title, feeling like a sign from our dark lord of literature.

Which fruits comfort you? How many library cards do you have?

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes domestic violence, ritual spousal murder, and surprise guest, gnostic biblical texts!

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

References:

• Esoterica: Gnosticism - The Apocryphon of John - The Fall of Sophia and Origins of the Demiurge Ialdabaoth

Earlier this season, we tackled a book found in the trunk of a friend's car and things have only deteriorated from there. Friend-of-the-show Laura found The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump lying in a gutter; once again, you really can find terrible books anywhere! Given that this book was literal garbage and had a seemingly feeble premise, our interest was piqued.

Thanks, Laura! Check out her business Chaotic Good Home for help organizing your house or finding cool ass second hand furnishings.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode is again plagued by current American politics, so maybe choose another of our 250 episodes if you're tired of that right now. We remind you that nothing in this episode should be construed as counsel, advice, or direction by the hosts.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

References & Resources:

• Srdja Popovic - How to Topple a Dictator
• Dr. Joanne Freeman on YouTube
• Looking for truth in absurdity: Humour as community-building and dissidence against authoritarianism - Umut Korkut, Aidan McGarry, Itir Erhart, Hande Eslen-Ziya, Olu Jenzen, 2022
• Laughtivism: The Secret Ingredient
• Humour in Political Activism: Creative Nonviolent Resistance by Majken Jul Sorensen
• Trump Is a Godsend for Book Publishers. He's Also a Nightmare.
• Trump Powers Boom Time for Book Publishers
• The Impacts of Publishing a Donald Trump Memoir

We've got another live-play episode for you today wherein Scribando is our DM. This was requested by our Patron rootbeercutie, who said, "Okay, so this time I have stuff to talk about because this is bonkers...basically, Blood in the Chocolate is a role-playing horror game inspired by Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. And it's absolutely terrible. Instead of Oompa Loompas, they use "pygmies" (a real race), and it's filled with fat fetish material. Now this wouldn't be bad because I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but it's just uncomfortable."

Bookbarella must team up with Dee and Jon from the extended Antiques Freaks universe to make it out of the bowels of psycho-sexual racial capitalism alive! There are no good choices in this game and it was rather miserable to play even based solely on the game's rules and structure. Listen as we all struggle to decide if we even should have done this episode!

References:

• Blood in the Chocolate
• Chenier's Tumblr Apology Letter
• Lamentations of the Flame Princess - Base Rules

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode contains some discussion of sexual assault, body horror, child abuse, enslavement, racism, fat fetishism, poisoning, torture, and a bit of homophobia.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

This week, it was Scribando's turn to dive into the Box o' Books (aka, The Book Hole). He emerged into another episode of READ, wherein he must speed-run the episode so the podcast doesn't blow up.

Once again we're fairly out of our depth with anything from the U.K. and have no real understanding of who Richard Wilson is. Published in 1995 by Michael O'Mara, this book is full of questionable factoids and 1990s-standup-level humor, so be prepared to not find any of the book's content funny.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to some sad excuses for humor from a few decades ago. TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Bookbarella is our Dungeon Mistress today as she narrates the first chapter of an interactive story which Scribando must try to survive as the sole player character. Can he make good choices after partaking in the wizard's leaf?

Our Patron Tin submitted this to the show - and, for once, we were actually excited about an author's self-submission: "I'm a long time listener and a recent $10/month Patreon member. I'd like to request a review of my game book, The Archive: Chapter One. It's the first installment of a much larger story, so it's inevitably going to feel incomplete. It should at least be a better gaming experience than Dragonraid, though, lol. Hope you enjoy the story! Thanks for entertaining me through all the boring parts of my day job!"

Resources:

• Download a $2 PDF or a $15 physical book of the adventure (sorry - the PDF was free at the time we recorded this, but inflation is escalating exponentially and aggressively, it seems!)
• Check out Tin's other artistic works as well

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes some mentions of dismemberment, death, torture, and liminal horrors beyond your imagination.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Our Patron Lucek requested any, "...pop financial advice book with some well dressed person with a Rolex and no clue how to actually survive in the real world," so Scribando answered the call. He scrolled and scrolled through the Amazon Bestseller's list for Self Help books until he found this - a parable (that's right - no real-life examples here) about money management that somehow took two adult men to put together despite the fact that its content could fit within a single infographic.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language and a brief mention of fictional death. We remind you that nothing in this episode should be acted upon as finanical advice as we are just two random human beings who read books and not financial advisors.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Feeling rather uninspired and lacking the will to live, Bookbarella once more turned her gaze to The Box of Books that a friend sent her a few years ago (thanks again Morgan). Within, she found The Long Winter, originally published in 1962 by Fawcett Publishers. A supposed satire, this feels more like a story trying to be about racism and nationalism in a climate fiction setting and somehow failing at all of these elements in different ways.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to some 1960s flavored racial strife and soap-opera-level infidelity. TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Scribando ties on his apron and fastens his bowtie for his return to early 20th century American capitalist food business book hell! Our Patron JC suggested this in our Patreon chat simply saying, "I really enjoyed the Orville Redenbacher story. Get ready to GRIND IT OUT with Ray Kroc!!"

Oh boy, are we grinding it out here. Every day, the sun rises on a new McDonald's.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language. TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Several years ago, while Bookbarella was away for a few months, this 1980s fantasy book appeared on her desk and no one ever admitted to leaving it there. She saw a wizard on the cover and tossed it into the future TBC pile, thinking nothing of it.

Years later, she was consulting a friend about which books she should pick for TBC episodes this year and he helpfully reminded her that the wizard on the cover is a bit different from most wizards you see on fantasy book covers - he's sitting in a shitty apartment, having just cracked open a foaming beer above a bag of potato chips spilled on the floor. Naturally, she couldn't pass this one up.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language. TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Scribando tackles a rare author Patron's Choice this week which we tend not to do that often, since most authors and publicists just fire off an email to any podcast with the word "book" in it and want to be a guest on the show.

However, our Patron Jeff seemed to get what was going on here. When asked if he understood the show, he replied: "Honestly, after I had listened to a handful of random episodes both recently and a couple years ago, I think my book might just be on brand for your brand...the book is like an onion with layers and at its core it might be either sweet or stinky depending on your mood that day. I have attached one of the songs from the upcoming album I am going to release soon...after giving it consideration let me know if you want to tackle it."

Well, Jeff, it's an honest try - and you did join the Patreon, so technically within the bounds of patron requests!

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion of addictions of all kinds.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.