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This is the first episode in our REACT series—a deep dive into the four trauma responses that shaped how we survived childhood abuse. Over the next four weeks, we're breaking down fawning, flight, fight, and freeze. Today, we're talking about fawning: the response that looks like kindness but is actually survival.

If you grew up in a chaotic, controlling, or abusive home, you might recognize yourself in this episode. Stick with us.

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Tonight, we're talking about the immediate aftermath. What's happening in your body. What you need to know. And what you need to do right now."

"This is not your fault. What happened to you is not your fault. Say that to yourself now. We'll say it again before we're done.

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We have a special treat for you tonight! Terror To Triumph hosts our first special guest ever! She's performed on Broadway as a singer and tap dancer, she’s an influential speaker, alternative methodology healer, spiritual practitioner, trauma-informed educator, and author of the book: Transcending: Victim to Goddess, please welcome: Heather-Ann Ferri! Welcome to the show Heather-Ann!

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We're diving into something that can help change your healing journey—finding and building social peer groups as a survivor.

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Tonight we're diving into something many of our listeners experience but don't always connect back to their childhood: emotional breakdowns in adulthood. We're talking about how unresolved trauma from childhood shows up as overwhelming emotional responses later in life. Let's explore this together.

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We're talking about something deeply personal tonight: body image and trauma. How childhood abuse changes the way you see your body. How it affects eating. How it affects sexuality. How it affects your sense of safety in your own skin.

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Tonight we're talking about perfectionism as a trauma response. Not ambition. Not excellence. We're talking about that internal pressure that says: if I make one mistake, I'm not safe.

A lot of survivors learned to be perfect to avoid abuse, earn love, or stay invisible. And the problem is, perfectionism can keep you alive in childhood, but it can destroy your peace in adulthood.

So we're going to name it, break it down, and talk about how to heal.

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Racism doesn’t just hurt your feelings. It trains your body. Tonight we name racial trauma for what it is: a cumulative, lifelong stressor that can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight, especially when you’re already carrying childhood trauma, abuse, PTSD, or complex trauma.

We break down what racial trauma looks like in real life, from microaggressions that seem “small” until they stack for years, to discrimination at work and school, to police profiling and the fear that comes with it. We also talk about systemic racism as a structural reality, not just a personal experience, and how that can erase the sense that anywhere is truly safe. Both of us share personal moments that still live in the body and shape trust, vigilance, and how we move through the world.

From there, we shift into healing. We walk through practical steps like naming both traumas without minimizing either one, understanding how they intersect, grieving what was taken, and reclaiming culture as a source of pride and stability. We also talk nervous system regulation with grounding, breathwork, movement, nature, and community, plus the deeper work of challenging internalized racism and rebuilding a kinder relationship with your body.

If you’ve been feeling on edge and wondering why you can’t fully relax, you’re not alone and you’re not “too sensitive.” Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more survivors find Terror To Triumph.

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Grief after childhood abuse isn’t just crying over the past. It’s the daily weight of what got stolen, the nervous system that never learned safety, and the quiet question that keeps showing up: what would my life have been if none of this happened?

We walk through the real losses survivors carry, including innocence, trust, safety, identity, healthy connection, time, and potential. Storm breaks down what grief can look like when trauma is the cause, from anger and sadness to denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, plus the physical signs that show up in the body like tightness, nausea, fatigue, and that bottled-up feeling in your chest.

Then we get practical. We talk about naming the loss clearly, creating space to feel without judgment, and finding healthy ways to express grief through journaling, movement, art, and safe release. We also dig into why you shouldn’t have to grieve alone, how to choose people who can truly hold space, and how healing becomes possible when the trauma is part of your story but not your whole identity. If self-sabotage and hypervigilance are patterns you recognize, this conversation gives language and steps you can start using right now.

If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more survivors can find Terror To Triumph. Where are you listening from, and what’s one loss you’re ready to name?

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A podcast update from the middle of a work shift, because I’d rather tell you the truth than leave you waiting at 9:30. I’m on the job, it’s loud, and I can’t get off in time, so tonight’s show is canceled. Not postponed with vague promises, not ignored with silence. Canceled, clearly, so we can reset the schedule the right way.

What matters most is what comes next. I’m in a real transition right now, trying to make all ends meet and still deliver the kind of conversations that support your well-being. That means I need your input on the format: should I keep the 9:30 slot with pre-recorded episodes, then go live during the daytime when I can? Or do you want me to fight to keep the night show live at 9:30? Your comments directly shape the future of the show, and this is the moment to speak up.

I’ll drop updates throughout the week and I’ll have a clear answer before Saturday. You can follow along on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch, and if you want to support the podcast, you can also check out the merch at www.pelsimporium.com. If this kind of transparent creator update helps you, subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review, then tell me in the comments: what schedule works best for you?

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