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Today, we're talking about something really important: How do you know when you need help?

A lot of us survivors are trying to push through. We're trying to move on. We tell ourselves, 'I should be over this by now.' Or 'I'm fine, I don't need therapy.'

But underneath, we're struggling. We're sabotaging our relationships. We're pushing people away. We're having emotional reactions that don't make sense. We get stuck in patterns we can't break.

And we don't realize these are red flags. These are signs that we need professional support.

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Another update for the podcast scheduling time frames... Brief reminders of the new Tuesday broadcast, 30 minute episodes, and more.

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Support the show

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Not all therapists are created equal. And not all therapists are trained to work with trauma.

If you see a therapist who doesn't understand trauma, you can end up feeling:

• Misunderstood
• Retraumatized
• Blamed
• Like therapy doesn't work

But if you find the right therapist—someone who's trauma-informed, compassionate, and skilled—therapy can be transformative. 

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Support the show

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The holidays stir up more than music and lights—they surface old memories, mixed emotions, and the pressure to perform joy. We open our hearts to survivors navigating family rooms where celebration collides with unresolved hurt, and we offer a calm, practical path to protect your peace. This is a warm reminder that your healing matters, your story matters, and you’re allowed to move at your own pace.

We walk through real-world strategies for boundary-setting, from deciding which gatherings deserve your energy to scripting exits and using grounding tools when tension spikes. You’ll hear how to balance obligation with consent, how to welcome grief without erasing gratitude, and how to track small wins that build resilience over time. Our focus is gentle and actionable: breathing routines, time limits, supportive allies, and rituals that help you re-center before and after events.

Community sits at the core of this conversation. We talk about the power of being believed and resourced, the gift of digital spaces where survivors can learn language for their experiences, and the courage it takes to share testimony when it feels right. If one voice reaches one person, it’s worth it. We also point to practical resources and ways to get involved so no one has to heal alone.

As we close the year, we choose hope—steady, grounded hope that grows with practice and support. Join us to gather tools for coping with holiday triggers, find validation for mixed feelings, and reconnect with your own agency. If this episode gives you strength, share it with a friend, subscribe for future conversations, and leave a review to help others find us. Your presence here matters more than you know.

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The holidays can be beautiful—and brutal. Alphonso goes straight to the heart of why this season can feel like walking into a storm for trauma survivors: the break in routine, the sensory overload, the pressure to be cheerful, and the possibility of sharing space with people who caused harm. Instead of pretending it’s fine, we map the landscape and give you tools to navigate it with clarity and care.

We unpack the most common emotional waves—anticipatory anxiety, anger, grief, shame, and guilt—and reframe them as valid signals rather than personal failures. From there, we move into practical, trauma-informed strategies you can use right away: arriving late and leaving early, sticking close to a safe person, steering conversations to neutral ground, and setting boundaries you’ll actually enforce. You’ll hear simple scripts that end intrusive questions, plus day-of grounding tactics like box breathing, the 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 method, movement, and bathroom resets that calm your nervous system in minutes.

Preparation is a form of protection. We talk through planning your approach, building a support network, scheduling therapy around the event, limiting substances, and creating a pre-gathering ritual that roots you in the present. Most importantly, we challenge the old holiday script and help you write a new one that honors your healing—whether that means chosen family, quiet rituals, volunteering, art, or a solo day that feels gentle and true. We also share crisis resources so you know exactly where to turn if things overwhelm you.

If this conversation gives you a little more breath and a little more choice, share it with someone who needs that, too. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us which boundary or ritual you’re choosing this season—what will your new holiday story be?

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We started this mini-series four weeks ago talking about a foundation: rebuilding trust with yourself.

We explored how trust breaks down. We walked through the step-by-step process of rebuilding it. And over the past few weeks, we've talked about sustaining it.

But here's what I want you to understand: This isn't just about trust. This is about reclaiming your life.

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Episode 8 was packed with so much information on how we survivors have to work to maintain our self trust while being vulnerable with others that we had to split the episode to continue on next weeks show!

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What if rebuilding trust wasn’t a leap of faith, but a series of steady, practical steps you can see and measure? We take a clear-eyed look at when repair is worth the effort, when it’s safer to walk away, and how survivors of childhood abuse can protect their peace while giving change a real chance. No fluff, no vague platitudes—just grounded guidance, examples, and language you can use.

We break down the difference between remorse and deflection, why “I’m sorry you feel that way” harms repair, and the responsibilities on both sides of a rupture. You’ll learn a five-step framework for trust repair: naming the harm and its impact, listening without interruption, taking ownership with genuine remorse, setting non-negotiable boundaries with clear consequences, and tracking consistent follow-through over time. Along the way, we explore how trauma patterns can mistake chaos for safety, and how to replace survival habits with stable, healthy connection.

Support matters, so we talk about the power of therapy as a neutral mirror that calls out excuses and helps you see the real drivers beneath repeated conflict. We also share self-trust tools for survivors—body checks to gauge safety, journaling to spot red flags, and practical scripts for boundary-setting in relationships, friendships, and family systems that dismiss your feelings. Real scenarios bring the framework to life, from confidentiality breaches to verbal escalation and familial minimization.

If you’re deciding whether to repair or release, this conversation gives you both the map and the mile markers. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs steady support, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your next hard conversation. Your story could be the signpost someone else is waiting for.

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