That Checks Out

The guys discuss how timing is everything when picking up 80lbs of free frozen soup, why any novel read by a Russian scientist in Antarctica instantly becomes a murder mystery, and when a sketch of a Mets game can automatically exonerate the defendant. 

The guys discuss why it’s imperative you never leave your “round disks of concrete” around Swedish chimps, how being bald leads to a much greater chance of reptilian concussions, and when enjoying a premature bear kabob triggers brain worms. 

The guys discuss when is the best time to weed whack to prevent losing your tank, how rattlesnakes are completely indifferent when it comes to metal poles and a boot, and why becoming a lumberjack can only help your odds of eventually becoming an obstetrician. 

The guys discuss how $0.15 used to get your baby a ride on the mail truck, what are the absolute two most important things to protect when you’re hired as a hit man by an estranged husband, and why you should always bring a picnic basket to the pound when attempting to adopt a puppy in China. 

The guys discuss why you’d never hug a Siberian bear hunter goodbye when he leaves, how an Asian mouse statue in Russia serves as a reminder of lives lost, and when even a plexiglass fortified meth store can’t bring your stepbrother back. 

The guys discuss when a $35 t-shirt and front row seats can’t guarantee a laugh, how buying a gorilla at a Halloween party will get you prison time, and why a hot glue gun and a dream is detrimental to the battery industry. 

The guys discuss when a pizza place is “kinda closed” right now, how when a wife misses her husband (6 times) it results in a huge headache, and why you should never prematurely terminate a hunt for lost chop sticks. 

The guys discuss how lack of regular physical exertion can lead to a trifecta of near death experiences, when a trip to Canada can get you in an ambulance and the Guinness World Record Book, and why Coca-Cola and endless hams leads to gator obesity. 

The guys discuss exactly what is the most important item to pack when skydiving, why having an opinion while working retail in Scotland requires wearing a helmet, and how if 2 sailors can scrape up a sign no title is necessary to transfer ownership of a WWII submarine. 

The guys discuss why all Mountain Dew should be opened by day 29, how owning a boat directly relates to an endless supply of free goats, and when a “First Name” salutation assures an effective recruitment campaign.