A twerking grandpa gets tased. A pyro pirate floods a police station. A clown robs a Presbyterian church... What happens in Florida doesn't stay in Florida.

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(Excerpt from premium number 15.)

Angels have been on the mind lately. Evidently, "the good book" describes them as quite bizarre, terrifying entities. Plus, they've been the subject of the two shows I've been consuming this past week: Neon Genesis Evangelion, and the depressingly disappointing Midnight Mass. Let's talk about it.

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(this is an excerpt from premium no. 14)

Bryan returns, Jason makes his debut. We have a silly time. Do psychs make you smell good? Is Lindsay Lohan in any "special" features? Is James Deen more important than James Dean? Was "The Room" supposed to be funny? Find out in this thrilling episode of TTWJ.

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I am so, so, so happy with this episode. It's completely deranged, amoral, and funny as hell. Yes, it's more erotic fanfiction — this time starring Nic Cage, Shrek, and Sonic the Hedgehog. THIS is the quality of fanfiction I want for this show.

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Here's the link to the story, as promised: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10719099/1/Ultra-Shrek-X-Nic-Cage

Get a dry towel, because this episode is HAWT!

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In this episode, I interview the second half of Radio Free Tote Bag. That would be Donovan. We get into topics like anxiety, most common dating problems, and the harsh teacher that is winter in Chicago.

Find Donovan on Twitter: @rftbdono

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Have a story or subject you'd like me to cover on the show? In need of advice? Have a business inquiry or just want to say nice things? Send me an email: [email protected]