Beating Tetris is cool, stupid lady. Fried rice is dangerous, the racists say! Katt Williams is dropping truth bombs and is hilarious. Miami is supposedly being invaded by 10 feet tall shadow aliens.

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Scientists keep finding scary creatures and scary diseases. Metaverse is going to make a "Ready Player One" world. TGI Friday's is closing stores for expansion. Transcandidate gets disqualified for not using deadname on the ballot.

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A 13-year-old kid broke the game Tetris. Samsung is making A.I. phones. Indiana Pacers have QR codes on their jerseys. Star Wars is being written and directed by a woman of color. Clinton likes them young.

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Aaron Rodgers is hating on Jimmy Kimmel. Claudine Gay is out of Harvard. Physical media is gone from Best Buy. A girl gets virtually assaulted in the metaverse. Jack Black is going to be in a Minecraft film.

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Mickey Mouse JUST went into the public domain, and people are making horror games and horror films with him. Green Day changed their lyrics to go against the MAGA agenda. India is going to space to study black holes.

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Its 2024 and it'll probably be just like 2023, but don't let that bring you down. Try your best to make this year be a little better than the last and understand that your human, and when things seem at their worse remember that they always get better.

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A child died of the flu. Biden is giving more money to the war. A couple beat up a Chipotle worker for charging them for extra chicken. Slipknot is getting sued by the estate of their late drummer.

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Salt is bad for you. McDonalds is getting rid of self-service fountain drinks. Hershey's is false advertising cause the chocolate bats don't look like bats. The Flaming Hot mix in Dorito's is causing health issues across the pond.

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Gypsy Rose Blanchard is free from prison, and she sounds like we'd get along. World population is up to 8 billion, A.I. can diagnose mental illness better than a Dr, and Google pays a tiny fine for watching you incognito.

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Tommy Dorfman is not a Dorfwoman. At least Delta Airlines doesn't think so. "Abrosexual" is a new term that's trying to catch on, but it's not fetch enough. Japanese scientists are growing human teeth. "Aquaman 2" and "The Color Purple" came out, are these two the next Barbenheimer?

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