I'm slowly learning about cybersecurity, but school still sucks. Some kid playing Counter Strike Go pulled a skin worth 200K, good for him I guess. Lucky bastard. Elon Musk is calling Zuck a cuck, so that's hilarious. Tom Hanks turned 67 years old. Lets party like its white boy summer!

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Jonah Hill is setting boundaries but his ex doesn't like the emotional abuse she feels from them. A guy on a scooter shot some people in New York. Typical NYC. Latvia elected their first gay president, so yassss queen. Oh and the only good meteorologist is a sexy one.

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Another day, another dime. Steve-O is jumping of bridges again instead of burning them, trying to stay relevant. Taylor Swift release her version of "Speak Now" and good for her! I'll have to listen to it and review it. Oceangate is suspending operations. I mean duh, those people had the worse 48 seconds of their lives before instant death. Britney Spears got slapped, Zuckerberg is censoring people and some chick say all people menstruate. Women be getting all mad and stuff.

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Check out my YouTube channel to see me and Mint Salad talk about the movie "Idiocracy." Ricky Martin is single now, so I guess he's living la vida loca, huh? Alzheimer's drugs are approved, and they are EXPENSIVE. CDC says men can breastfeed, but they're not sure off the side effects. Oh well! Oh and Jill Scott made up a black version of the Star-Spangled Banner, because its her right to, I guess.

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Go to my YouTube channel and check out my movie date with the beautiful Dirty Dalish while we watch "Little Shop of Horrors." Tom Holland and Zendaya are happy together, yawn. Californians are moving to Texas, duh. McDonalds is doing a wedding package with nuggets and chicken sandwiches in Indonesia, Meta officially put out their twitter killer app "threads" and we talk about the definition of "nonbinary."

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White powder was found at the white house. Hey, that makes alot of sense, doesn't it? Joey Chestnut wins the hot dog eating championship again, even with a weather delay, thank the gods. Transgender women that are lesbians are just men with extra steps, right? Oh and a monkey carried around its dead baby and then ate it. There was a story like that where a girl gave birth and threw her baby away. I mean shoot, kids always ruin your plans.

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I started off school pretty alright, so lets keep this going hell yeah! Ketchup supposedly is supposed to be refrigerated, but who cares it won't kill you like mayo. What the heck is "Bidenomics?" Cause it sounds really stupid, y'all. Its gonna stay hot as hell through the week so make sure you keep your penguins cold, especially if they're gay penguins. Oh and some guy without a face and hands found love, so there's always a chance for me too.

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More shootings going on in America, but the media can't turn this into a race war so they aren't gonna talk about them. A pregnant woman golfer competes in a tournament, which I didn't even know gender existed and assuming only women can get pregnant is hateful! Canada is banning cosmetic testing on animals, but it lets minors choose their genders and get mutilated into sex changing operations. Oh and an super autistic kid can do a rubix cube really fast. Cool beans.

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Let's watch My 600-pound life together and feel better about ourselves! Amanda Bynes is out of the crazy house. I wonder if she's single? Rowdy protests going down in France over the shooting of a young boy by the police. Wow, that sounds familiar. Postal service is raising the price of stamps those bastards. Oh, and a woman says her brain exploded but it was just a stroke. My mom had one of those, big deal.

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Former WWE wrestler Darren Drozdov died. Hope it wasn't from puking. Now that all the smoke is cleared from New York they are buzzing with flying aphids. What do they keep doing up there? Supreme Court says a web designer doesn't need to build a gay website. I thought we handled that with the bakeries. Dylan Mulvaney is talking smack about Bud Light, and the Magic the Gathering One Ring card has been found that has a worth of almost two million dollars. God I'm so broke why are things so expensive.

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