This is THE episode to share. After 100 episodes and years of working with couples on mismatched desire, I'm breaking down the 10 mistakes that keep you stuck—from obligation sex and taking rejection personally, to making every touch sexual and believing someone is broken. These patterns make total sense, but they backfire hard. If you or someone you know is dealing with a desire gap, start here. You'll learn what's keeping things stuck and exactly what to do instead.

The 10 mistakes:

1. Trying to 'fix' your partner instead of the dynamic
2. Having obligation sex to keep the peace
3. Taking rejection personally
4. Believing scheduling sexy time is not "natural"
5. Being defensive about sexual feedback
6. Making all physical affection have to lead to sex
7. Chasing your partner (pursuit-distance trap)
8. Not knowing your own body
9. Expecting only spontaneous desire to be "real"
10. Believing someone is broken or wrong

For each one, you'll learn why it backfires and exactly what to do instead.

Special Course Announcement: limited time, last enrollment:
Thriving Together, Couples Healing Attachment Patterns Through Touch

A Groundbreaking 6-Week Live Online Workshop
with Dr. Aline LaPierre & Dr. Laura Jurgens starts February 1, 2026

https://neuroaffectivetouch.com/thriving-together

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/

Read The Desire Gap Blog at https://laurajurgens.com/the-desire-gap-blog/