The 12/10 by Nadja Olivera

Reclaiming the desire.

This episode started with a thirty thousand euro price tag, a closed door, and a festival we built ourselves. Because that is what desire does when you stop burying it. It finds another way in.

I talk about why so many women say they don't know what they want, but actually do. I go into the psychology of buried desire, how shame gets installed early and quietly teaches us that wanting is dangerous. And I get personal about how my own desires have completely changed over the last three years, from wild exploration after my divorce to the warrior poet I am now calling in.

This one is a permission slip. To want what you actually want. To say it out loud. And to trust that the life you are dreaming of cannot find you if you do not admit to wanting it.

In this episode:

• Why women say they don't know what they want but actually do, and what happens when you ask the right questions
• The psychology of buried desire and the difference between guilt and shame
• How wanting gets trained out of us from childhood, and why it goes underground instead of disappearing
• The shame and desire connection, and why what you are most ashamed of is often closest to what you actually want
• How desire evolves over time and why you don't owe loyalty to a version of yourself you have outgrown
• Why desire is not about filling a hole but about what rises when you stop numbing
• The two practices to access your desire when it feels buried

This week's practice:

Write your unfiltered bucket list. The things you have never told anyone. The places, the experiences, the desires you have kept quiet. Do not edit it. Do not explain it to yourself. Just let it exist on paper.

This week's question:

What do I want that I have been too afraid, or too ashamed, or too loyal to an old version of myself, to admit?

Ready to go deeper?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life including the desires you might not have given yourself permission to look at yet.

And if you are ready to stop quietly wanting and start actually building, DM me CALL and I will send you the link to book your free 45 minute 12/10 Alignment Call.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

Have you ever asked yourself what you actually do at 9pm? Not what you wish you did. What you actually do when the day is done, the kid is in bed, and you are alone with yourself for the first time all day?

In this episode I am getting honest about something most high achieving women never talk about publicly. The numbing. Not rock bottom stories. Not addiction cautionary tales. The subtle, sophisticated, invisible ways smart, deeply feeling women stay exactly where they are.

I share the moment at a retreat in Portugal that cracked everything open for me. I walk you through the four forms of numbing I have seen again and again in my own life and in my work with clients. And I tell you something I have never said this clearly before: I want to be high on life. That is why I am sober.

This episode is not about stopping anything. It is about noticing. And the noticing is where everything starts.

In this episode:

• Why numbing is not weakness but intelligence and what is actually happening in your nervous system
• The four forms smart women use most: substance, action, people and overthinking
• Why overthinking is underfeeling and what that costs you
• The Rumi guest house and why your feelings are not your enemy but your guidance system
• Why when you numb the bad feelings you also numb the good ones
• What numbing is really trying to tell you about the life that is calling you forward

This week's practice:

At 9pm, before you reach for the thing, pause. Just thirty seconds. Ask your body: what am I actually feeling right now? Feel it first. Then decide.

This week's question:

What feeling am I most consistently running from? And what do I think would happen if I stopped?

Ready to go deeper?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are settling and where you are already living it.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

I'm Nadja Olivera, psychologist, life reinvention coach and single mom living in Mallorca. The 12/10 is the podcast for women who have done the work, have the life, and still know deep down that something isn't fully theirs. Every episode we go into the conversations most people are too afraid to have out loud. About settling. About desire. About numbing. About shame. About the brave choices that change everything.

Have you ever looked at your life, really looked at it, and thought: this is good. This is actually really good. And still felt like something was off?

This is the episode I wish had existed when I was sitting on my sofa in Mallorca next to my partner, our son asleep upstairs, feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Not alone in the house. Alone right next to him.

In this first episode I'm taking you through the 4 stages every woman goes through when she starts building her 12/10 life, using my own story as the map. The settling I called snacking. The desire I called jealousy. The brave choice I made anyway. And what the actual living looks like from the inside.

This one is for you if you've done the work, you have the life, and something still feels quietly, persistently off.

In this episode:

• Why settling never looks dramatic and what it actually feels like from the inside
• The desire moment that cracked everything open and why jealousy might be the most honest emotion you have
• Why bravery has nothing to do with not being afraid
• The truth about the 12/10 life nobody tells you: it's not a destination, it's a becoming
• Why leaving is never the whole story and what the real work actually is

Sit with this question this week:

Where in your life are you performing a version of okay, when you know, in your bones, that okay is not enough?

Want to go deeper?

DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I'll send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you're settling and where you're already living it.

Find me here:

Instagram: @nadjaloveslife