In the first of this two-part conversation, Leggy and Daniel discuss shame, from how they experience it, to recognizing its effects and why it’s important to talk about. The 2 LADS also talk about the relationship between shame and judgement, and how we can fall into the trap of projecting our own moral standards on others leading to unnecessary shame. And they even get into how shame has affected their sex lives and personal relationships. Listen now for another candid conversation on a topic you don’t often hear men talking about so openly. 

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing. 

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(02:58) - Recognizing when you're acting in shame - “Shame is a tricky one because a lot of the time you don't even know that you're in shame until you reflect on what you've just done.”

(05:17) - Shame and sex - “There's something about the shame of giving your wholeself to something. There's a shame in that.”

(10:34) - Shame and judgment - “The influence of other people's version of shame—often their own projection by the way—is where people get into trouble.”

(12:36) - Shame is a sign something is out of alignment - “I believe it is on me to get clear about how I want to operate in the world, and then if shame comes in, it means to me now that something is not aligning.”

(13:39) - Forgiving yourself for your mistakes - “Acknowledge that you fucked up, but you also have to be kind to yourself because you're already in shame.”

(15:16) - The strange things we do out of shame - “I think subconsciously underneath that, there was a kind of fishing line out to try to get some kind of the connection that would validate the other feeling.”

(20:57) - Shame spirals and talking about shame - “Men aren't good at dealing with that because we don't talk very much. We never get to bounce something off somebody else and stop the spiral in its tracks.”

(24:42) - Estimable acts and Shame pits - “There's so many shame pits now. There are just shame pits everywhere. You can't do anything other than stumble into a shame pit.”

(26:54) - Front loaded vs. back loaded shame - “The back end of the shame is equal and proportionate to how easy the first part was.”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and IMDB

Connect w/ Leggy on Instagram and Spotify

Thank you for listening! Follow 2 LADS on Instagram, and don’t forget to follow, rate and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #The2LADS

The 2 LADS podcast was created and produced by actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon. With additional editing and production by Katie Sunku Wood and StudioPod Media. Sarah Jade Wilson is the Brand Director. With photography by Diana Mantis. Graphic design/video editing by Aldona Kowal. Music Composed, Mixed and Mastered by Christian ‘Leggy’ Langdon.

In this episode of 2 LADS, Leggy and Daniel discuss their own experiences with psychedelics as well as other drug use, addiction, and subsequently sobriety. With psychedelics being a hot topic at the moment, they speak about how the process of “journeying” can be helpful, if the right steps are taken post-journey.

They also discuss how pain can be an indicator of trauma; and how our innate life force or ‘eros’ gets numbed over time by painful experiences. Join the LADS in a convo about how they’ve found a healthier way to face their own demons and work to heal.  

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing. 

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(04:44) - Taking drugs to numb emotions - “When I would take drugs, it was like self medication. It would make me almost feel like, ‘Oh, this must be what it feels like to be normal.’”

(07:35) - On Journeying with Ayahuasca - “I just went into a total acceptance of me. It was almost like I could just put the reins down. Like I've been holding on so tightly in my sobriety.”

(16:05) - Discovering the benefits of Heart Medicine i.e. Psychedelics - “This is so much more powerful than just getting high or feeling connected, and that took me a couple of years.”

(21:37) - How psychedelics can help you face emotional pain in the same way anestesia helps people with physical pain - “They put you under general anesthetic because if you went over to someone with a scalpel trying to work on someone's heart, they're going to go, ‘Get the fuck off me!’ You know?”

(23:46) - Why people are apprehensive about Journeying - “I also understand the idea of like, ‘There's so much darkness in me that I don't want to go there.’ The association is that it will reveal this thing. And it does! But it doesn't do it in a way that is about you not being able to feel or receive it.”

(25:45) - The free, childlike state that can come from psychedelics - “As adults, we're all going mental all the time. We're just trying to ‘achieve, achieve, achieve.’ We're trying to get to this never ending place of success, whatever that means. And I think that we forget how important play is.”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and IMDB

Connect w/ Leggy on Instagram and Spotify

Thank you for listening! Follow 2 LADS on Instagram, and don’t forget to follow, rate and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #The2LADS

The 2 LADS podcast was created and produced by actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon. With additional editing and production by Katie Sunku Wood and StudioPod Media. Sarah Jade Wilson is the Brand Director. With photography by Diana Mantis. Graphic design/video editing by Aldona Kowal. Music Composed, Mixed and Mastered by Christian ‘Leggy’ Langdon.

The 2 LADS know only too well that breakups are often painful, yet present opportunities to grow. In this episode, Leggy discusses a particularly traumatic breakup and Daniel talks about his experience in a 12-step program for sex and love. They also get into how we can use the pain as a roadmap to healing; and how we need to determine our “terms” in order to show up better in relationships. As Leggy says, “breakups give you a window of opportunity to reflect on what went wrong and use that to grow and enter into healthier relationships in the future.”

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing. 

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(02:23) - The breakup that led to Daniel and Leggy’s friendship - “I'd had lots of breakups before, and you had a marriage end, but there's one breakup in your life where you can't avoid the pain anymore.”

(03:46) - Breakups can be an opportunity to learn important lessons about yourself - “Every time we go through a breakup, it means something's not worked. We've got ourselves into a situation. It has ended, right? And there's a window of opportunity at that moment of breakup where you get to reflect.”

(07:09) - Falling into bad patterns in relationships - “I bounced from relationship to relationship and I had always thought, ‘Well it's because I haven't found the right person.’ I'd never asked myself, ‘Why am I attracted to the things that I'm attracted to?’”

(12:12) - How difficult breakups can be - “I've talked to people who were in a lot of different twelve step programs and a great deal of them say of all things to come off of, sex and love is by far the hardest.”

(13:05) - Trying to ignore pain - “I've had all the addictions in my life. I've done extensive research on most addictions. It all comes down to pain management and understanding that pain is part of the game, you know? And we didn't get taught that. I didn't. I got taught that you're not supposed to feel pain. So whenever it comes up, do whatever you can to get rid of it as quickly as possible, rather than understand that that pain is there to teach you something.”

(14:09) - A healthier way to enter into relationships - “If you're a person like I have been that hasn't had a solid sense of self, a strong sense of self, where I'm like, ‘I’m drawing the line here. This is who I am. This is what I believe. These are my values. Let's do it.’ I've never entered into a relationship from that position.”

(15:41) - Leggy’s traumatic breakup - “It is death, but in a weird way, in some ways, worse than death because this person is choosing to be gone from your life.”

(19:49) - Figuring out your terms - “When people say, ‘You can't love somebody until you love yourself,’ I remember just thinking, ‘What a load of bollocks. I don't understand what that means.’”

(25:50) - Love can be more about you than the other person - “I can't even ever know what she felt, even if it was true or not. It doesn't matter. What matters is… me. I felt like I was in love. I also felt like I was in a lot of pain. Everything that I went through was my experience. And it was what I chose to do, unconsciously chose it due to my own place in my life at that time where I was completely unaware of all of these unhealed sections of myself.”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and

Let’s talk about sex. Discussing their own sexual journeys from young lads to now, Leggy & Daniel touch on what factors have influenced their sexual experiences over time; including shame, drugs, and loneliness. This is an extremely honest conversation between 2 LADS. 

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing.

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(03:27) - Discovering sex - “I would be on the bus going to school, and I couldn't get off at the stop because the bumps would cause me to have an erection.” 

(08:51) - Sex and shame - “It's part of the human experience, and it's so close to the shadows and the darkness and the shame. It's such a tragedy that we all get lost in that. Sex, sexuality, the shadow, all of these things are all linked.” 

(09:51) - Enjoying sex - “There's something about the feeling being so good—as in so complete—that feels very close to feeling like you shouldn't be that free.”

(10:47) - A confusing and lonely journey - “You can't talk to your parents about it. It's hard to even really talk to your mates about it. So you're having these monumental, life-changing experiences on your own without too much information about it.”

(18:32) - Instant gratification - “Sometimes I’m still adolecent in regards to sex in that the gratification becomes very important very quickly.”

(20:27) - Struggling with sex while sober - “The first relationship I had after getting sober was a long-term relationship, and that was difficult for me to show up sexually, because what I associated my high sexuality with was bad behavior. So when I got sober, for example, from drugs and alcohol, my promiscuity also went out with all that.”

(23:01) - Sex can be about different things - “There’s different kinds of sex. There’s sex with someone that you’re in love with, and then there’s disconnected sex.”

(25:06) - Extreme sex - “It would be like diving into a pool of skittles and then just opening your mouth and swimming. Like, ‘What flavor is that?’ It doesn't matter. There’s strawberry. There's all the flavors happening all at once.” 

(28:51) - Sex and connection - “Ultimately, I think that the deepest sexual experiences come when you do have a spiritual and emotional connection. That’s the goal. That’s the hope. There’s fear around that as well, because you’re being seen by someone that you are intimately connected to.”

(29:21) - Sex is the crux of everything in the world - “Everything that’s been made is so that somebody could have sex with somebody else, ‘We are making these objects, so that I can make a profit to make money so that I can have more sexual partners.’”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and IMDB

Connect w/ Leggy on Instagram and Spotify

Thank you for listening! Follow 2 LADS on Instagram, and don’t forget to follow, rate and share the show wherever you...

In this episode of 2 LADS, Leggy and Daniel talk about the not-so-small topic of love. From learning to see beyond the singular expectations that Hollywood and the media set out for us to finding the right balance between passion and compatibility, the 2 LADS ultimately conclude that the movie version of love covers just one small part of the story.

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing. 

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(02:23) - The various stages of what we expect love to be like - “You grow up and you think, ‘Somebody is meant to come in and complete me.’ Then the next stage is to be disappointed with people not completing you and then taking it out on either them or yourself.”

(06:19) - On self-love - “If you can wake up at three in the morning alone, and you're okay, when your brain can do the most crazy shit to yourself, and if you can sit there and go, ‘I'm okay. I am in control of this ship.’ I think that takes time.”

(08:36) - Fear can drive people into relationships - “In this society, doing that, having a long-term partner, getting married, all these kinds of things in the name of love is looked highly upon. It’s easier to live in society if you buy into that.”

(10:52) - Your relationships reflect where you’re at in your life - “You attract the level you're at. There's no point in blaming the other person and saying, ‘Oh, they're mental. They're absolutely mental.’ That's where you're at.”

(17:19) - Attraction vs. Compatibility - “Sometimes I'm dating a lover and then it's chaos because there's no safety. It's all like chaos, but it's very passionate. Or I'm in safety, mothering, and there's no sex. There's no passion.”

(19:08) - Trying to make sense of love and the the human experience - “I'm on this whole thing about love in the fact that we're all humans, and so we're all here in this consciousness, trying to fucking make sense of it all. And so in a way, I'm trying to love everyone.”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and IMDB

Connect w/ Leggy on Instagram and Spotify

Thank you for listening! Follow 2 LADS on Instagram, and don’t forget to follow, rate and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #The2LADS

The 2 LADS podcast was created and produced by actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon. With additional editing and production by Katie Sunku Wood and StudioPod Media. Sarah Jade Wilson is the Brand Director. With photography by Diana Mantis. Music Composed, Mixed and Mastered by Christian ‘Leggy’ Langdon.

In this first episode of the 2 LADS podcast, actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon talk about what listeners can expect from their podcast: honest and open discussions about the issues they’re facing in their daily lives. Leggy and Daniel also explain how they met, what ‘The Work’ means to them, why they believe relationships among men are so important, how they’re working to tune into their emotions and better learn from pain and trauma and what they believe courage and leadership look like. So grab a cuppa and get comfortable...

The 2 LADS podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These conversations are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny... and ongoing.

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(04:18) - On self-awareness - “It's having the intimacy with yourself and to know, ‘Oh yeah, I do that. I am capable of cruelty and anger, and I’m also capable of being a good man.”

(07:12) - Building deeper relationships - “I didn't have any friendships in my life that were really about talking about the elephants in the room.”

(18:24) - On how ‘The Work’ grounds you - “I'm single going through a breakup and not working and I'm the best I've ever been because I have this work.”

(19:57) - Accepting emotional pain - “Use the pain as a roadmap to show you where your shit is, to show you where your wounds are. It's why we feel pain. If we've got a cut on our arm, if you prod it, you go, ‘Oh, there's the cut. Got to deal with that now.”

(22:01) - Why intimate relationships among men are so important - “Men are so safe when they're in this space.They're strong. They protect you. They are compassionate.”

(26:39) - How men typically express their emotions - “The way that we process that emotion, it tends to come out physically rather than in an articulated way, which isn't useful if we're just like losing it with people and just like punching lads in the face and yelling at our girlfriends.”

(28:21) - We're all capable of good and bad - “We are capable of great love and beauty and joy and great horror and malevolence. That is the human condition. We're all dealt those cards.”

(31:51) - What courage looks like - “Being courageous is saying we're not always going to get every subject right. There's nothing that we need to get right. The point is, ‘Here's what it looks like to be just honest about things.’”

RESOURCES:

Connect w/ Daniel on Instagram, Twitter and IMDB

Connect w/ Leggy on Instagram and Spotify

Thank you for listening! Follow 2 LADS on Instagram, and don’t forget to follow, rate and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts!  #The2LADS

The 2 LADS podcast was created and produced by actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon. With additional editing and production by Katie Sunku Wood and StudioPod Media. Sarah Jade Wilson is the Brand Director. With photography by Diana Mantis. Music Composed, Mixed and Mastered by Christian ‘Leggy’ Langdon.

Hi, welcome to the 2 LADS podcast, from actor Daniel Sharman and music producer Christian 'Leggy' Langdon.

The 2 Lads podcast tackles big topics with brutal honesty and vulnerability; replacing shame and guilt with truth and love in the quest for emotional and spiritual growth. These convos are unflinching, uncomfortable, funny ... and ongoing.

Follow the conversation on Instagram: @The2LadsPodcast