If you’re like me, when it comes to sporting events, the only thing coming out of the stands should be cheers and chants, and the only thing leaving the field should be the occasional ball or a t-shirt fired from a canon. We’ll come back to that.

On this episode: you’ll find out which sports fans tried to kill Santa Claus; we’ll find out what stadium security personnel and Acorn Cop have in common; and we’ll meet the very first person to ever come back to life after dying on the show.

Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 9 minutes where we discussed the theatre of human pain that is professional soccer; you’d learn about the single worst fan over-reaction to the loss of a game in sports history; you’d take a listen through the incestuous, genital-laden world of European sports chants; and you’d learn why urine works better on tear gas than jellyfish stings.

They say at its core, soccer transcends language, class, or background. It’s all about people coming together with nothing more than a ball and some open space. All that will be true about today’s episode, except for the part about space. A lot of disasters are the result of multiple preventable causes coming together in the worst way. Nowhere is that more true than in today’s episode - but for the most part, it was the police. The Ghana Institute of Architects may have called the setting for today’s story a death trap, which is why I have petitioned to change the name to the Ghana Institute of Architects and Psychic Predictions. You’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself.

Celebrity guests include: multiple-injury lawsuit artist, Santa Claus; hot air balloon novice, the Easter Bunny; former wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, Michael Irvin; former Okaloosa County, Florida, Sheriff's Deputy, Jesse Hernandez, aka Acorn Cop; and President of Ghana, President John Kufuor.


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