The ACT Counsellor

But wait! Isn’t it nice to be nice? Don’t we want more nice people in the world? Well of course, but if you’ve been listening to other episodes of The ACT Counsellor you’ll probably have an idea of where I’m heading with this.

Do you sometimes think that you are too nice?

In this episode, I’m going to delve a bit deeper into why being ‘nice’ isn’t always as beneficial as it might sound and what to do instead.

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Do you often say yes when you really want to say no?

I used to do this all the time. I was so agreeable. I don’t think I knew how to say “No”. Someone would ask me to do something, and I would immediately say, “Yes”, then I would realise afterwards that I really should have said, “No”,  I would then build resentment towards the person for asking me to do something, and then realise that they actually have every right to ask, and I have every right to say “No”.

I would then chastise myself for saying “Yes”, tell myself that I needed to get better at saying “No”. The next time I was asked to do something, I would say “Yes”. 

Is it like this for you too?

It seems to me that learning to set boundaries is a really important skill, and one that we need to, firstly develop an awareness of, and secondly, practice.

Hello and welcome to episode #11 of The ACT Counsellor.

I have been a counsellor and consultant in Bendigo Central Victoria, Australia where I have a private practice. I also see clients in the ‘online space’ from various places in Australia. Certainly, online delivery of services has increased over the

Looking back now, through all of that I wasn’t always crystal clear on my values. Well, I kind of, might have been, sometimes, if someone asked me. But I certainly didn’t have the clarity that I have now.

There were many times that I felt really overwhelmed. I was juggling being a mum and trying to make ends meet and be the best teacher I could be, all the while trying to cope with some pretty terrible things that had happened, but keep up the appearance of a person who was coping. Nevertheless, but some of my values shine through when I reflect on that time. Values like contribution, knowledge, education, fairness, justice were all there below the surface, guiding my choices.

In this episode I’ll be talking about the importance of getting crystal clear on what truly matters to you.

To join my online workshops and courses waiting list, please click here: https://www.chrysaliscounselling.com.au/waitlist

In today’s episode we're going to be talking all about sleep.

You know when people used to talk about sleep it was just one big yawn for me. I mean, who wants to talk about sleep right, it’s kind of like talking about the weather. It just happens! Doesn’t it?

Well it turns out that it doesn’t always just happen and I’ve come to realise that getting good sleep is sooooo important to our wellbeing. Sometimes we need to get really conscious about why we’re not getting enough subconscious time. It turns out that there are many things that can influence our ability to sleep, or not sleep, as the case may be.

Do you feel like the world is out of control?

Do you sometimes wonder how to keep going?

We live in a world that gives us the message that we are only supposed to have positive thoughts and feelings. We pick-up this idea that to be happy, positive and joyful is how we are meant to be, all, or at least most of the time.

We also, along the way, pick up the idea that if we don’t feel happy, positive and joyful all of the time that we are defective in some way, as if it is our own fault and shameful. 

We may have tried some therapeutic approaches that involve changing or challenging our thoughts, thinking positive thoughts, positive affirmations or gratitude journaling, the list goes on. 

We’re facing restrictions on our way of life and although for many of us we can see why these things need to happen, our nervous systems are feeling frayed by the endless news and statistics, reports on cases and vaccines. 

If you team this with having to manage working from home and homeschooling children and, not to mention, those of you with partners, maybe having them at home all day with you.

Just the thought of it all can really frazzle your nervous system.

I'm going to explain about what Dan Siegal calls our, ‘Window of Tolerance’. By the end of this blog you will have an awareness of your own window of tolerance, how your nervous system is doing and some ideas to try to soothe your nervous system and bring it back to feelings of safety.

At the end of this podcast you’ll know what imposter syndrome is and how to make sure that it doesn’t hold you back.

Linda says that 'Imposter syndrome is a persistent inability to believe that your success is deserved, or you have legitimately achieved the success and accolades that you are getting as a result of your own efforts or skills.'

Today I’ll be talking about overcoming the overwhelm. So many women I know are feeling totally overwhelmed. It’s the juggling, it’s the accommodating, it’s the mental load, it’s the worry about how we look, how we dress, if our house is tidy, the list goes on.

You go to bed at night and you have all these thoughts racing around in your head.

We are going to have a bit of a look at overwhelm today and by the end of this podcast you’re going to have 3 strategies to help overcome the overwhelm.

Many are struggling with the ongoing impact of the global pandemic.