The ADHDads

Today the Dads welcome Keriann Long, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach, to discuss dating and relationships. What does compatibility mean in dating, and how does being a father change how one seeks a compatible partner? We discuss the importance of expressing your wants and needs in dating, the timing of expressing them, and what those needs and wants could look like. Communicating our needs instead of avoiding them over concerns we might have is essential early on, because those concerns won’t go away. We even ask the question, can we work through incompatibility?

Keriann talks with us about the importance of getting uncomfortable, vulnerable, and being honest. She helps us dive into attachment styles and boundaries, and how even an anxious attachment style can successfully pair with an avoidant style (hint: communicate those needs, folks!).

Keriann Long is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and dating coach, and considers herself “modern therapist,” believing that her patients are the experts of their own lives. She uses her knowledge to help guide her patients to their own answers in an informal, down-to-earth, and relatable way. She has a Master of Science in Counseling Psychology degree, and after grad school, she became certified in EMDR. She works with adults, teens, families, and parents of young children. You can find her at the following:

As always, thank you for your support. For more, please check out theadhdads.com.

Today the Dads welcome Richard Ziegler to discuss the call to fatherhood, and sometimes the demands of life making that call sooner than we anticipated. Richard openly and honestly shares his story of redemption, which started when he was only a teenager. At the age of 16, he took his first kids under his wing through adoption. How, might you ask, is this kind of story even possible! Join us as we discuss this and so much more—including intergenerational trauma and overcoming one's demons—on this second episode of the Dad Den series.

As always, thank you for your support, and please check us out at theadhdads.com, where we provide more content and quality coaching to help you live your best life through service to yourself and your loved ones.

Today the Dads talk about failing with finesse. Failing with finesse is the art of failing gracefully and professionally. It means accepting responsibility for your mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. It also means being mindful of how your failure affects others and taking steps to minimize the impact.

Here are some tips on how to fail with finesse:

Here are some additional tips for failing with finesse:

It's important to remember that failure is not the end of the world. It's simply an opportunity to learn and grow. By failing with finesse, you can show others that you're mature, responsible, and committed to success.

There's so much more ground to cover on failing with finesse, and the Dads are merely scratching the surface in today's episode. Please join the conversation and let us know how you have learned to brilliantly fail and grow. For more great content, and to sign up for coaching, visit theadhdads.com. And as always, thank you for the support.

On today’s episode of The ADHDads, we have the honor of spending time with an everyday expert: our friend and fellow father, Alex Lee. We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village.” What does that mean in today’s digital age of distant connections? The Dads talk about how coming together in a mastermind community is part of creating that village, where we can learn from each other, challenge each other, and grow daily as dads. In addition, the Dads discuss how learning from past trauma and relationships as well as from their own kids results in family and fatherly core values that provide psychological safety. The Dads speak honestly about how including our littles in the family mantra and vision shows a desire for open and safe communication and understanding.

How do you listen and understand your kids while being their parent? Join the Dads in this hopeful episode about the next generation, because we, as a village, are learning to raise our kids for the greater years to come. As always, thank you for your support, and please check out more at theadhdads.com.

September is Healthy Aging Month, and the Dads share in today’s episode their whys in their journey to aging healthy. From early childhood thoughts and beliefs about physical appearance and external influence, to showing up for their families today in the healthiest ways, it’s a deep talk on why physical and emotional fitness means so much to us.

The ADHDads have partnered with Coach Ray from Episode 19 in an attempt to get dads into shape. JJ and CJ talk about the challenges that they have faced in the first 3 weeks and where their struggles lie. Great conversations on self care, health, fitness, and strategies for success. If you have been on the fence about getting into better shape, what better time than now! 

Contact Coach Ray and use the discount code ADHDads in the notes for a super discount to get you started. You can also find him on instagram at rayking.savagedad.

Coach will set you up with a workout routine, nutrition plan, and weekly check-ins to not only help keep you on track, but to dissect the obstacles holding you back. Let’s go on this journey together! Let us teach our kids to respect their bodies by leading by example. 

For more content and other videos, follow our fitness journey at TheADHDads.com.

And thanks Coach Ray!

Shell Mendelson is an ADHD career coach who has trained with Richard Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute? She helps adults with ADHD navigate career decisions and transitions. She has an invaluable resource coming out in the form of a workbook titled A Course for ADHD Adults and Teens: Unlock Your Career Path. Mendelson has been on numerous podcasts and helps individuals unlock their purpose and discover true happiness in their careers. This week the Dads pick Shell’s brain about what this process looks like, and how she helps adults with ADHD unlock their potential.

For more episodes and other content, check out TheADHDads.com. And thanks for the support!

Email

[email protected]

Website

https://passiontocareer.com

Books

https://passiontocareer.com/author-page-2/

This week the guys talk about “asking for help.” Why do we have such a hard time as men asking for help? Are you a Han Solo kind of guy or more of a Yoda? Do you tend to lone wolf it like Boba Fett? What kind of support and army do you have behind you when it comes time to do battle with yourself? Are they people who build you up, or tear you down? Listen to CJ’s story of sobriety, mistakes, and lessons along the way in this vulnerable look into how we can be intentional and change who we show up as. 

For more content and other full episodes check out TheADHDads.com.

And thanks for the support!

What’s the myth that you’ve told yourself about how you came to be? What’s your grand story? Join us as we take a deep dive into the stories we tell ourselves, and what that narrative does about our outlook and our own introspection, as well as the survival of our relationships, and how we can help those relationships thrive rather than be swallowed up in despair.

You receive a text from your spouse that says you need to call immediately. What is the story you tell yourself? How do you interpret that message?

Do you see a time of challenge as an opportunity for redemption? Listen and find ways to come out of the tunnel, into the light, in a powerful way, strengthening the love you share with the people who matter most.

We create stories to help understand who we are, and we can modify those stories in an attempt to continue to define our current and future state. For example, let’s say I land my “dream job,” and it’s one I and my family celebrate as a bright and hopeful light for today and our foreseeable future. Then, over time, I find out that the job is not only challenging in ways I didn’t anticipate, but it also is consuming more time than I envisioned. If stresses at home become overwhelming, and my marriage is suffering, I might then change the story about landing the job as one that resulted in my marriage falling apart. A story is often not fixed within, but can take on a decisive form, which can lead to us making real decisions based on that current and assumptive narrative.

So what can we do to create some great depth to our stories within? How do our experiences and connections help us with our internal narrative?

We all have experienced that “Aha!” moment many times. That often is a result of the story we tell ourselves pairing up and complementing with additional information we receive rather than simply conjure up. Or the “Aha!” moments happen because we/our stories are challenged by another narrative.

To be blunt, when we reject tribalism, or confirmation bias, we find that the stories we tell ourselves can be challenged in very productive and powerful ways. For example, if my relationship is in a state of tumult, and I’ve been telling myself or have been told that I have every reason to maintain my position and feelings, the narrative within is struggling for an opportunity to grow and be modified. But if I allow for my story to evolve through curiosity, I’m opening up the opportunity for resolve and deeper connection. My identity story isn’t being stripped away, but rather breaking new ground, or at least enriching the soil, whether that relationship be moving into a new phase of conflict or peace. It furthers our story. It can solidify the narrative as well as move it in the direction of understanding external influence.

Our stories are resources for mental well-being. We tap into them to understand life and make decisions. If they’re affirming, they can strengthen our confidence. If things are tough, changing the story to be something good can be a little self-defeating. So living in the moment, sometimes, is a safe choice, because meaning can shift.

When our stories within are empowering, we most likely will have a sense of emotional wellbeing. When we operate out of cynicism, and we feel like we don’t have much control, we are more likely to associate those stories with negative outcomes. If we have strong connections attached to our stories, we find hope. Redemptive stories are often a result of overcoming adversity or suffering. All of those stories are a part of the human experience, most often shared, so our identity is found in relationships.

As always, thank you for joining us on our journey. Please subscribe and rate and review our podcast. We would be so humbled by your support. For more, please check out theadhdads.com.

This week the guys talk about the importance of connecting with our partners, even in times of trial and chaos. Connection and intimacy doesn't have to stop because life gets crazy. Tune in to see what kind of tools and techniques the dads use in times of hardship. We want to have strong connections built for when things fall apart, and that doesn’t mean trying to figure it out when it all hits the fan. The guys give great advice on what works for them and some strategies they’ve learned along the way. Don’t miss it, and thanks for all of your support.

You can find more content and other full episodes available at TheADHDads.com.

Book

ADHD 2.0 by Edward Hallowell

We have an incredibly inspiring guest on the show today: Grace Casper. Grace became a child of divorce at age eight. By age 10, she had already written her first manuscript draft for her book. Ever since, she’s had a mission to help families through the process of divorce. She is now 24 years old and runs Divorce Tips from Kids, which involves active social media engagement, sending out emails to parents, and hosting her podcast, Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew. The podcast is the first of its kind, which discusses the divorce process from the kids’ perspective. As a divorced father myself, and Colton being from a divorced home, we greatly appreciate Grace and her guests’ bravery and courage to serve the children and parents of divorce.

Grace is a Baylor University alumni; however, her hometown in Colorado will forever have her heart. When Grace isn’t creating content about divorce, she works as a full-time elementary school librarian (that’s way freaking cool, by the way!). She lives in Waco, TX with her tiny Maltipoo, Teddy (Yay, I have two dogs very similar to Teddy!), and two of her best friends.

Grace has lovingly written a book with practical wisdom and a compassionate heart, titled Dear Parents: Notes from a Child of Divorce. Grace and the Dads discuss many of her tips for parents, the mission she was called to at a young age, and the questions we ask ourselves, our parents, and our children through the journey of divorce and beyond. We all know and love someone affected by divorce, if we haven't been involved directly. Kids have a lot to say, and we fathers should listen. This is an episode you won't want to miss.

Show Notes

Divorce Tips from Kids website

Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew Podcast

Grace Casper | Divorce from the Kids' Perspective on Instagram

Divorce Tips from Kids on Facebook

Divorce: What I Wish My Parents Knew on YouTube

Recommendations

Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kennedy

Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel