The Alpha Quorum Show

In another super-personal and starkly-informative episode, Brad Singletary discusses his own experience with suicidal thoughts and what he did to save his own life. 

Brad describes the Alpha Quorum's intention with using the term 'alpha.'  We are talking about men who are strong, capable, reliable, getting things done, and are enjoying fulfilling lives.  

The Alpha is concerned with LIFE. 

He has a life. He preserves his own capacity and remains strong, saving himself first: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He enjoys life and faces challenges in his own journey with courage and diligence. 

He creates life. He brings life, not by fathering children, necessarily.  But where ever he goes he brings light and life and brings value to any situation he finds himself in.  He passes life on in his relationships to those close to him, and every human that he appropriately can.   

He saves life. He lifts and rescues those in need, helping others preserve their own life. 

Brad recounts a traumatic family experience dealing with the suicide of an American soldier. 

He also describes some mind-blowing statistics about the duration of the crisis leading up to a suicide or an attempt, most often counted in minutes, not days. 

Suicidal thoughts should be seen as a medical crisis, much like sudden blindness or pissing blood. 

He shares tips for how to recognize suicidal risks and what to do when you or someone around you is feeling these things.

Whoever you are, this information will prepare you for a situation that you will likely be affected by in some way or another during your life. Please listen and share. 

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/duration/

Validation.  In its simplest form, it's recognizing your spouse or partner.  When you validate her, you see her - you get it.  That's what she wants and needs from you.  Today, we're going to talk about what validation is, how you can provide this need to your partner, and how being a high-value man is the ultimate validation.

Questions to be answered today:

What is validation?

What validation is not ?

Why do we need to validate our partner?

You!  An Alpha is a high-value man.

How does being a high-value man validate her?

Your self-validation makes you a high-value man.

Sincerity

Other tenets of validation

When do you validate her?

.An incredibly-deep dive into understanding stress and overcoming the potential negative effects of stress.  We are living through times of immense difficulty.  Most of us were already stressed to the max before the coronavirus stopped so many of us in our tracks. Today we’re gonna take a look at stress and how we can better understand and cope with the hardships in our lives. There's never gonna be a time in your life where you’re completely free of stressful situations or beyond pressures and difficulty. Life is nails and that’s not gonna change. What can change though is you. How you see, deal with, and feel stress. That’s what you have control over moment by moment. Alpha up and face your stress like an overcomer, like a survivor, like a man, like an alpha.

Questions answered in this episode:

Topics discussed:

Relevant Links:

.For those who may be new to our show and our movement, we introduce the Alpha Quorum philosophy.  We also outline the RED9: nine attitudes, actions, and attributes of the ALPHA.

Questions answered in this episode:

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The Red9:

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Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Some research indicates that 5 years after divorce, people are no happier than they were in their “unhappy marriage.”  While sometimes divorce is the only option, it isn’t always the only option.  Today we will be discussing how separation can, in many cases and when done with the right approach, save your relationship.  We share some insights we have gained from men we have worked with on this, some applicable research on this topic, and some of our own very personal experiences with separation as a means to save a marriage.

Questions to be answered today:

This segment is about separation as Option C. Stephen Covey talked about continuing to look for alternatives in general until you find something that works. Option A might be to continue to stay miserable in a dead relationship. Option B may be divorce (which can feel like an emotional murder-suicide). Option C is often separation.

We aren't encouraging anyone to separate, rather we are encouraging people to consider separation before proceeding with a divorce first.

You can always get a divorce; you can file tomorrow.  But once you do, you can’t undo it.  Is there any decision more impactful on your ENTIRE FUTURE and the ENTIRE FUTURE OF GENERATIONS AFTER YOU than whether to not to stay married? Sometimes it is an inevitability.  Sometimes divorce is the only sensible choice.  But let’s talk about how not to BLOW the one of the biggest decisions you will ever make.

No Excuses. Alpha Up.

In our most deeply-personal episode ever, Brad, Taco Mike, and guest Jimmy Durbin discuss how they all three survived lengthy separations that ultimately helped save their marriages. Learn from these examples about how they were wrong in the first place, how they were wrong throughout the process, how they made it right again and how YOU can get right by recognizing your own part in relationship wrongs, regardless of your current status as a single, married, partnered, separated or divorced person.

We discuss how trauma, failures from past relationships, self-righteousness and fake, phony strength and other issues made us drift intro colossal failure. Mike makes a comparison between his past and a character from Lord of the Rings, Jimmy discloses his slow maturing process, and Brad outlines his self-righteous judgement and projecting, all of which led to near-divorces. Ultimately, we became grown-ass men and acknowledged our faults and worked it out. Miraculously, our wives forgave us and we are each now happily married. Brad and Jimmy are therapists and Taco Mike is a recovery and relationship coach and entrepreneur.

We teach how our crucial mistakes created pain in our lives:

We also share how we discovered these principles after a lengthy season of hardheadedness and how these saved our relationships:

If you are the person in a failing relationship with a dirtbag of a human, this can help you understand where he may be coming from and what you may be able to do to help him.

Who*ever is reading this: you need this information more than you could even know. You don't even have to be in a bad relationship to learn through our experiences what may be amiss, perhaps even in you. This episode colorfully illustrates the grueling and gut-wrenching experiences of a combined 5 years of manning-the-freak-up by three unassuming alphas who learned to conquer their self-absorption and reconnect with the women they love.

In segment two of a two-part series on healthy relationships, we explore the role of commitment and conflict resolution in healthy relationships.

Questions answered in this episode:

Other topics discussed:

HOW DOES THE TYPICAL, UN-EVOLVED DUDE DEAL WITH COMMITMENT

DEFINE COMMITMENT

DECIDE TO LOVE THEM

DECIDE TO MAINTAIN IT

BOUNDARIES

HOW DOES THE TYPICAL DUDE FIGHT?

ESTABLISH RULES

YOU HAVE TO FIGHT

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

STATE YOUR OWN FEELINGS WITH EMOTIONAL WORDS

NO YELLING OR NAME CALLING

NO OLD STUFF

APOLOGIES and FORGIVENESS

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You’re in a relationship that isn’t working or certainly not as well as you’d like.  Maybe there isn’t enough of something that you once had, but you don’t know what it is.  You feel a growing emptiness and want to do what you can to salvage this thing.  While it takes two willing parties to make a relationship work, we introduce some things that help you at least identify what might not be working and how you might make adjustments to have a happier relationship.

In part one of a two-episode series, we explore the concepts of passion and intimacy from Dr. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love.  We address how men get it wrong in these two areas and how they can change their attitudes, actions, and attributes to have a healthier partnership.

Questions answered in this episode:

Other topics discussed:

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We are wired for anger.  It is protective. Jordan Peterson says that aggression is the default in our wiring and chemistry.  Testosterone is the power hormone but too often we get tricked into believing there is a threat when there is none.  Today we’re going to discuss anger and how men can be more aware of what they are feeling and have more control of an emotion that too often diminishes our actual power.

Questions answered in this episode:

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We live in troubled times. If there ever was a time for men to step up and be leaders, it is now. While the coronavirus may not be affecting you and those around you yet, it will.  Estimates are that one in 10 Americans will get the virus.  You will likely not *die from this illness, they say, but the impact has already begun in terms of anxiety and worry, we see this in the grocery shortage.  It is affecting the economy, people are losing their jobs, and your wives and children need your strength.  Today we will be discussing how you can be a man of strength when everything is falling apart.

Questions to be answered today:

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