They Talk Sex

The Anxiety and Non-Monogamy Episode


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We take another dive into discussing common barriers to communication and relationship security with writer Lola Phoenix, who has been navigating this for theirself and others online and IRL for years.

2:00 a lot of common questions

5:00 power dynamics

8:00 on being protective of the community 

10:00 what are your biggest challenges with non-monogamy?

14:00 disagreement doesn’t have to be scary

17:00 forgive yourself for being afraid of abandonment

22:00 attention helps us to survive

25:00 I will grow my own life regardless of you

27:00 what is an anchor? A personal reason for doing 

32:00 is being primary the most fun?

36:00 we are primed for monogamy

39:00 personal preference is not the rule

42:00 jealousy regarding sleepovers/sex

46:00 i don’t need to hear the details for you to have fun

50:00 red flags vs irrational

53:00 women have to look for threats regularly

56:00 book suggestions

59:00 object impermanance

1:03:00 how to ask for partner support

1:08:00 on hiring a sex worker

36:00 people are encouraged to be monogamous

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at nonmonogamyhelp.com


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They Talk SexBy Elle Stanger, CSE

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