They Talk Sex

Alexa Van danced in Portland stripclubs and wrote a novel one decade later - not as a memoir but as a way of processing alcoholism and unhealthy relationships. Why is it that the very thing that attracts so many people to ‘us’ is the thing they end up hating and wanting to change? Let’s talk stripclubs, dating, and art.

2:00 - never worked at Sassy’s 

4:00 - why is it that these men want to change me?

9:00 - she is a raging alcoholic

12:00 - double standard of working 

15:00 - a lap dance is not disrespectful 

20:00 - what makes a good shift?

23:00 - negative impact of stigma

28:00 - use cheap makeup

33:00 - stripper warehouses of Vegas

36:00 - nice partners do exist

41:00 - on being a “minor” 18-20years old

47:00 - social media suppression

51:00 - ‘Seggs” is absurd

55:00 - owner favoritism

59:00 - sex tip!

Your host is ElleStanger.com

Your guest is www.alexavan.com

@thebadalexavan IG

@alexavanauthor tiktok

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

GETTHELAYER.com - discrete waterproof sex blanket - use CODE ELLE for 10% off

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Are you a current or former Christian still learning how to have guilt-free sex? Mattie Jo Cowsert is a recovering Evangelical who moved to New York City to find her husband - and then learned the world is bigger and more diverse than she had been raised to believe. Meet a shameless oversharer who wrote about her experiences with God, Sex, and Rich people.

3:00 evangelical and moved to NYC

7:00 sex and shame

10:00 rich people were unexpected

13:00 white, blue eyed woman privilege 

18:00 where my Evangelicals at?

20:00 abuse dismissed as sin

25:00 jesus defended cheaters from death

29:00 further reading for hip Christians

34:00 what are “misogynist daywalkers”

37:00 how to give yourself permission to have good sex

41:00 disordered eating mention

44:00 on spirituality now

49:00 DOGMA was a weird movie 

52:00 a confession from Mattie Jo

55:00 red flags

57:00 “sex ghosts” is a weird orgy

1:01:00 progress and pushing forward

1:06:00 have sex with people who respect you

Your host is ElleStanger.com

Your guest is MattieJoCowsert.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

GETTHELAYER.com - discrete waterproof sex blanket - use CODE ELLE for 10% off

Please rate and review this podcast :)

What does penis health have to do with heart health? A lot! Erica Leroye was a teacher and a lover when a tragic death led her to a new calling: teaching people about penile health, and doing touch work around pleasure and healing. You’re invited to November’s ‘Soft Cock Week’, and listen here now to learn about the penis in its most common state: soft.

3:00 - this episode can save lives

8:00 - sex is outercourse and intercourse 

12:00 - retrograde ejaculation and ED - common symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes

16:00 - go to the Genital Gym

19:00 - “you have to train for what you want to be good at”

22:00 - how do I help men tap into the erotic self?

25:00 - pleasure mapping

29:00 - her fave way to play with a softie 

33:00 - what is Soft Cock week?

37:00 - what else can you learn?

42:00 - what to eat?

46:00 - create a scavenger hunt for a treat

49:00 - trouble with orgasm

52:00 - “is gooning bad?” 

54:00 - disconnect between brain and penis

59:00 - fear of penis in medical systems

1:03:00 - am i normal? 

VISIT and JOIN https://www.softcockweek.com/

Your guest can be found at https://www.softcockweek.com/soft-cock-blog/welcome-from-your-new-2024-hostess

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

GETTHELAYER.com - discrete waterproof sex blanket - use CODE ELLE for 10% off

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Lenora Claire was a business owner and public figure in Los Angeles before her stalker incidents led her to becoming a private investigator and media consultant.  Learn how survivors and perpetrators of stalking can be handled smarter, by a person who teaches better practices for true-crime coverage.

2:00 - reality shows and progressive parents

5:00 - crime show producers don’t know how to treat survivors

7:00 - Batman and Superman to the rescue!

10:00 - why blocking isn’t always best

14:00 - risk assessment 

18:00 - “what did you do to upset them?”

23:00 - her current work

25:00 - Private investigator things

28:00 - women producers and empathy

31:00 - British production companies doing it better

34:00 - treated like dogshit by cops when reporting

38:00 - how to help people open up?

41:00 - disclosure tips

45:00 - being judged on appearance 

51:00 - what to NOT do to survivors in interview

56:00 - what is the guiding purpose of the media?

58:00 - a sex tip? Maybe :) 

Your guest can be found at lenoraclairellc.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Jack Parker has been doing sex work since just before he was an adult, and he’s now a writer and publisher of an anthology of stories from other trans-masculine sex workers. Let’s talk about how queerphobia makes unique spaces and options for some working guys in the arts and adult industries.

3:00 sex work before 18, before public

7:00 making $4 an hour? WHAT

10:00 not enough options for advertising or undies

14:00 how to transition without them knowing?

17:00 any port in a storm

23:00 my favorite part is strange bookings

26:00 nightmare coworkers can make it hard

28:00 enjoyable client sex

32:00 age gaps with clients

36:00 clients objectifying us, their own insecurities

41:00 where to find the book!

45:00 how to find trans masc providers

50:00 targeting for homosexuality

54:00 criticisms of jack’s work

57:00 resources for more reading

Find your guest on JackViolet.com and @mxjackparker on all socials.

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

If you’ve ever watched mainstream tv or movies with sex scenes in them, you can appreciate the people who make them look more realistic, while helping the performers be safest. Let’s talk with our guest Jamie Monahan, who works as an Intimacy Coordinator and Director.

3:00 #MeToo history

6:00 actors are taught to Say Yes

8:00 sexual alignment on film 

11:00 there is a lack of lube in film 

14:00 history behind intimacy coordinator

17:00 scenes that stuck in your mind

21:00 other memorable scenes

25:00 kissing on film

28:00 elle’s preference on oral sex visuals/contact

31:00 prosthetics are not common

35:00 more rules and regulations

40:00 the sounds of sex on film 

45:00 don’t copy movies and that includes Titanic

49:00 have you ever mimicked a film?

54:00 SAG requirement to become IC

Your guest is at www.Jamiemonahan.com

IG/Facebook/X: @Jmemonahan

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Elizabeth Foreman works sober in New Orleans strip clubs these days. Here she shares her experience with sex work and sobriety which has given her insight, tactics and coping mechanisms while she continues to share her healing journey with others.

4:00 disclaimer - experiential and not academic

6:00 dancing instead of full-service

9:00 confusing laws around sw and trafficking 

13:00 NOLA vs PDX stripper economics

17:00 how she got started in sobriety self-help

20:00 alcoholism in the family and the club

24:00 tips to not get drunk at the strip/club

27:00 check-ins reminders

29:00 AD -  getthelayer.com - discount code ELLE

32:00 why do you use while working?

37:00 mental strain of sobriety

40:00 why we numb out or use it to enhance performance

48:00 practicing setting boundaries

54:00 don’t stop drinking abruptly

57:00 what happens when you stop drinking?

1:01:00 do you have the wrong prescription?

1:05:00 resource share

1:08:00 the downsides of AA

1:12:00 ADHD and sex tips, slow down

Tip Elizabeth for her sobriety help to CASHAPP $liz4mannola

For more self-help books mentioned in the episode: See this list by Raina LeGrand

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Erica Smith is a sex educator specializing in purity culture trauma and recovery. Let’s talk about dealing with shame and some tips for better sexual health and lives.

4:00 a controversial event in 2000

7:00 working in abortion clinic, juvenile justice system

10:00 youth in sex work or experiencing trafficking

14:00 how purity culture relates to juvenile justice

17:00 the Army of God loves fake anthrax

20:00 sexually active teens

23:00 she who is without shame!

27:00 how to tell my partner I’m queer?

30:00 use your hands more

33:00 chronic health disclosures to partner?

37:00 herpes shaming, we hate it

40:00 purity culture grossness

43:00 social media and sex education

47:00 who is her clientele?

50:00 tradwife trend will have impacts later - @missgingerlocks on IG

53:00 confessions

57:00 sex advice

Find your guest at purityculturedropout.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Have you ever been made to feel like an object instead of a person? Do you objectify others? What does objectification mean, how can we take our power back, make the best of it, or get off on it?

Let’s talk with Suzannah Weiss, author of “Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject”

2:00 See her live August 18th at Sanctuary club in Portland

6:00 growing breasts made people treat her differently 

9:00 sexuality healed her disordered eating!

13:00 people being degrading at cam models

16:00 this economy making me do more

18:00 if a SW takes advantage!

21:00 examples of objectification from others 

24:00 “I don’t do bareback with someone I just met”

28:00 former sex worker(?)

30:00 examples of objectification in language

33:00 Nina Menkes + film POV

36:00 we need to see what women desire, more often

39:00 it is a turn-on for me, being objectified 

42:00 anxiety about fantasies in relationship 

46:00 Stoya started hitachi reading! 

50:00 less respect happens for escorts

55:00 work stress - stigma 

59:00 examples, more

1:02:00 sex tips from suzannah and elle

Find your guest at SuzannahWeiss.com

Your host is ElleStanger.com

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

I'll return with new episodes next week.

Book me for a consultation session or find me on the adult chat app if you want to divulge your secrets or fantasies.

Your host is ElleStanger.com

Book a consultation via Contact on ElleStanger.com

For 1-1 adult interactions find me on Sextpanther.com/elleOhElle

See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :