The Authenticity Coach

Growth requires pruning. If you want to better enjoy how you spend your time & feel more proud of how you conduct yourself, you must actively tend to your own growth.

Over the years, aspects of our personality grow to be prominent & certain abilities develop to be impressively strong. At the same time, we come to express other facets of our character less & spend decreasing amounts of time advancing other aptitudes.

Have you grown in the ways you want to grow? Does this growth of who you are & the focus of what you do feel healthy & energizing? Who has cultivated this growth? Have you been tending to your growth or has someone else, such as an employer, a family member or a social group, seized control?

It is time to tend your own garden! Determine who, if anyone, has been the gardener. And access whether the direction & magnitude of your growth has been left neglected to grow wild, with no one tending to the pruning of its pursuits. Learn to see what has overgrown & requires trimming. And identify what has been encroached upon & smothered. What latent superpowers are dying on the vine? What do you love that has not had space to flourish?

Map your garden. Make it your practice to ask yourself: Is this the way in which I want to grow? Decide what to cut back & what to nurture, & enjoy more satisfying work & a more fulfilling life.

If you are feeling uncertain -- either because what is going on around you is complicated & unpredictable or because your own thoughts are scattered -- there is a powerful exercise that can help you to navigate. Write a headline of your future.

As playful as it may seem, writing a one-line title that captures the essence of what you most want to be, do or have can spark seemingly magical results. A thrilling headline of what is to come in your future can inspire hope as well as calm anxiety. Writing the banner of your dream-come-true story can certainly be a fun activity. And it can also help you to resolve your internal uncertainty; it enables you to clarify what it is that you most heartily, truly want. It signals to your spirit that your deepest desire is possible. And it can prod you to make courageous choices & take the practical actions that are required to make progress towards that newsworthy future.

Learn how to draft a specific, outcome-oriented headline that will make your heart leap. See how writing the captivating title of the greatest story of your life can prompt you towards making that story your reality.

We all have weaknesses. It is impossible to be strong in all areas. Yet so many high achievers feel compelled to try long & hard to improve upon their most troublesome weaknesses. While these efforts are admirable, they are rarely effective & often draining. If the battle against your greatest weakness is beating you down, it may be time to give up the fight. Stop the futile push to overcome & start a powerful plan to overcompensate.

Learn how to succeed without "fixing" your so-called flaw. Apply this two-part approach to winning along with your weakness: Avoid it or manage it.

Learn to responsibly avoid putting yourself into positions that call upon your area of weakness. And gain strategies to manage your weaknesses. Rather than working to transform by changing the weakness, find ways to change what surrounds it. Seek complementary partnerships with individuals whose superpower is your greatest weakness. Construct custom strategies to manage your weaknesses that rely on your unique natural strengths. Employ your superpowers in clever & creative ways to bolster & balance your weaknesses. Win with your strengths -- & your weaknesses.

Are you a builder or a buyer? Do you tend to build things that could be bought? Or do you try to buy what must be built? If you are frustrated & exhausted with either approach, there is a straight-forward question that can help to propel you forward. Make it your practice to examine whether you are endeavoring to build or buy. Ask yourself & your colleagues: Should it be built or bought?

Learn how builders can save time & energy by focusing outward & buying what is pre-made. See why buyers may benefit by concentrating their efforts inward & building something exceptional. Access when to build & when to buy. Learn how to employ the ideal combination of building & buying that is right for you & your goals.

When we need to increase our speed or protect what is uniquely special, our satisfaction can improve when we have honed the art of knowing when to choose custom crafted & when to purchase ready made.

Success requires both motivation & ability. Conflating the two can result in frustration & exhaustion. To further our own success & support the success of those we lead & love, it is crucial to distinguish between motivation & ability.

Understand what motivation really is & what it means to truly have ability. Become able to spot which block you are up against. Is this an issue of my motivation or my ability? Is there resistance because they won't or because they can't?

Gain practical approaches for how to respond when motivation is missing or ability is absent, in yourself or those around you. Learn the four types of support: pause, praise, provide & push. Gauge when to employ each method. Develop the ability to identify whether you are facing an obstacle of not caring or not capable & gain the power to shift stagnant predicaments into active production.

What definition in your life needs to change? Is it your definition of success, security, caring, well-being or something else? Have you and your life evolved significantly since the start of your career, yet your guiding standards have remained the same? Are you successful, but feeling that what you are doing is not satisfying -- or even sustainable? If so, it is time to examine & edit one or more of the key definitions in your life.

Recognize how your life has changed & identify which outdated definitions are keeping you stuck. Learn how minor updates to the meaning of cornerstone definitions can shift your choices & bring you greater enjoyment & more peace. Gain practical tips for revising how you measure what is acceptable & desirable. Acknowledge definitions that have changed over the years. Direct your standards to match the position & needs of your life as it is today & allow yourself the fulfillment that you have worked so hard to achieve.

Is your power on par with your responsibility? Or are you expected to take care of something that is beyond the range of your command? If you are in the absurd situation of being held accountable for that over which you have no authority, this episode is for you.

Become attune to the gap between your responsibility & your reign. Identify whether the unreasonable obligation is due to a highly dysfunctional workplace, a well-intended but complex organizational structure or your own self-inflicted expectations.

Learn to sync your control to be on par with your responsibility by seeking more power or by accepting less responsibility. Stop holding yourself to impossible standards. Call out the absurdity of accountability without authority. Identify where your power does lie -- & learn to apply that power in new, creative ways.

What do you talk about? Do you tend to speak about the past, the present or the future? Are your conversations typically about people, activities or ideas? How you speak helps to create your reality. If you want to improve a situation -- & maybe even transform your business or your life -- try shifting how you talk.

Learn how changing the focus of the discussion to a different point in time changes the outcome. Identify whether you talk like an architect, an engineer or a mechanic. Increase the range of your speaking style by learning to employ the communication approach of the professional who is best suited to help you fulfill your top objective or overcome the most onerous challenge you face.

If you want next-level success, there is a simple shift in mindset that can propel you: Pay is for production, not for time. Expect to be paid for (& to be pay for) effectiveness, not effort. Seek, create & engage in a workplace & business arrangements that reward results.

Learn about the 4 ways of being paid. Examine how you are currently being paid & consider how you would like to be paid. Ask yourself: What is the incentive? Does this workplace or engagement motivate & monetize impact or does it provide payment for hours logged, regardless of performance?

Gain tips for rising above a culture that values "face time" visibility & rewards "work ethic" -- regardless of effectiveness. Become attentive to who bears the risks of a contract or project. Develop a practice of asking whether you are partners in profit.

Be unapologetic about your expectation that pay is for production. Learn to access what merits payment -- both how much & when. Develop the ability to identify organizations & create structures that uphold the tenet of "results are rewarded" -- & rise to your next stage of success.

Being positive is great. But it is more important to be genuine than to be positive. Rather than supporting happiness, a culture that expects "good vibes only" ignores reality, suppresses authenticity & destroys connection, causing stress, shame & isolation.

Become able to recognize toxic positivity & see how it serves to perpetuate undesirable situations. Learn the 3 steps of breaking free of false optimism: acknowledge, articulate & act. Stop silencing the truth about what does not feel good. Shift from the pain of forcing faux joy to the well-being of forging true happiness.