Your focus, fears & fantasies are your prayers. When we consistently give something our undivided attention, when we desire something above all else or when we await someone or something to "save" us, we are, essentially, praying.

In this episode, I share the 5 principles that my own experiences of heartache & hard times have taught me about prayer. Whether your religious beliefs are traditional or spiritual, take whatever wisdom resonates with you.

Lesson #1: Pray to God (or your Higher Power), not to a person, place or possession.

Lesson #2: Pray to be, not to have.

Lesson #3: Pray for guidance, not for gifts.

Lesson #4: Pray for the highest good, not for goods.

Lesson #5: Pray to support, not to solve.

Understand the guidance of these lessons & the power of asking for what you want -- or something better. Learn to identify to whom it is that you are praying. Become mindful of what it is that you are praying to receive. Have faith in the magic & mystery of the Universe. Be open to the unfolding of the unknown & infinite possibilities of innovations & arrangements that may bring your good to you.

Do you celebrate your accomplishments? If you don't, it's time to start! Celebration is not a frivolous waste of time & energy, nor is it a meaningless indulgence like receiving a participation trophy. Celebrating your wins can be as crucial to your on-going success as carefully planning your next course of action.

Learn why it is so important to recognize what you have accomplished & to revel in its achievement. Appreciate the value of feeling a healthy degree of pride & see how acknowledging wins creates a sense of satisfaction. Celebration signals progress. When we pause to applaud & enjoy what we have already accomplished, it sparks our motivation to continue to push & produce.

Understand the distinction between an intentional celebration of something you have achieved & an indulgence you allow yourself as an a "reward" for enduring a miserable experience. Learn to identify the accomplishments & milestones that are truly meaningful to you. Develop methods of merry-making that are uniquely pleasurable to you -- & especially suited to each particular win.

Make it a practice to ask yourself & others, "How will you celebrate?" Cultivate a celebration mindset -- & see how a practice of celebrating supports your ongoing success & furthers your feelings of fulfillment.

If you want to receive the increase in pay, the promotion or the headcount for hiring that you deserve, you need to stop the narrative & start to present the numbers. Repeated complaints about working long hours or being "crazy busy" seldom bring the increased compensation, new title or needed staff we are seeking. In fact, complaining may hurt our credibility. Whining, however valid, can sound like static to those in senior management. If you want to get what you merit, you need to stop lamenting & begin to logically show why what you seek is warranted.

Learn why shifting from subjective talk of "my experience" to straight-forward showing of metrics can be the magic bullet to having requests fulfilled. Showcasing numbers, percentages, data & dollars may have miraculous results -- after your many imploring stories have long fallen on deaf ears.

Gain tips for how to clarify your ask. Learn how to gather convincing evidence. Understand how to tie your data to your request & then to present it in the language that your business leaders can hear -- & to which they will respond with the compensation, title & headcount you deserve.

How zealously do you represent yourself? Do you advocate for yourself with the same vigor as you would for your client, employer or someone you love? Or do you permit unwanted & unreasonable self-talk to interfere with your pursuit of your dreams & desires?

Learn how to bring to your own cause the same compelling confidence, courage & sound reason that you tap so effectively to advise & advocate for those you represent. Start "putting on trial" the thoughts & beliefs that no longer serve you. Become aware when you are ruminating upon "inadmissible evidence" & make it your practice to look for evidence that supports what you want. Take command of the hurtful & haunting voice in your head -- & claim the rewards that come from developing a strong practice of advocating for yourself.

Are you miserable because you missed your chance? Do you beat yourself up over what you screwed up, failed to seize or did not even see? Are you bitter because those who got there before you received a boon & participate in benefits you can't have? If so, it's time to end the myth of the missed opportunity. That chance may, indeed, have passed you by. But new chances present themselves every day.

Learn to be on the lookout for opportunities, rather than passively waiting for opportunities to come. Identify why the opportunity that eluded you holds so much meaning -- & what about it is so desirable. Recognize that no opportunity is perfect & that your lost opportunity would have had its own drawbacks & disadvantages. Appreciate the practice of letting go of what does not serve you in order to make room for better opportunities. Learn to support serendipity by making the most of unexpected encounters & noticing the valuable essence of unconventional forms.

Is your profession right for you? Should you switch careers?

There are 8 questions you can ask yourself to help you to assess whether or not you are on the right track.

1. How meaningful is the work?

2. Does the profession encourage you to become a better version of yourself?

3. Are your best talents & greatest skills being utilized?

4. Does this career pay you what you are worth?

5. Do you want the lifestyle of those who have risen on the track you are on?

6. How aligned is the profession with your needs as an introvert or extrovert?

7. Is the profession in sync with your natural preference to participate in groups, engage one-on-one or work alone?

8. Is the career sufficiently dynamic & challenging?

Discuss these questions with someone you trust. Do not come to regret that you did not stick it out -- or to regret that you wasted your life doing what was not right for you. Be honest with yourself & gain the clarity you need to be able to decide whether or not you are on a path that is right for you.

Anger is your ally. Anger, envy, worry, sadness, hurt & many other emotions & feelings are your loyal friends. They indicate when something is not right -- or is not right for you. And they invite you to take action. However unpleasant or unwanted, your feelings can be the richest & most powerful advisers that you could hope to have come to your aid.

Emotions are energy -- & you can choose where you want that fuel to propel you. Learn how to be more attuned to your feelings & to read feelings as maps that lead you to focus on your unmet needs. Recognize the invitation that each emotion presents, develop the skill of deciding which signs are right to follow & start to take the smart yet meaningful actions that will shift the trajectory of your life.

There is much truth to the proverb "You get what you give." But what can you do when you are giving -- & you are not getting in return? This is the time to acknowledge the corollary to the "You get what you give" adage: You can give what you get. You have the right to give to someone only as much as you are receiving.

If over-giving is causing you to feel disappointment, longing, resentment & pain, this episode is for you. Healthy giving is about reciprocity & mutual willingness, not tit-for-tat score keeping. Forego the fantasy of the future & release yourself from the nightmare of today.

Learn how to access where & how you are giving too much. Explore practical ways to adjust your giving. Learn how to communicate & carry out your new limits in a direct & meaningful manner.

You want to be fairly compensated & appreciated for your work, but pay & praise are not enough. You also need to have the title you deserve. Whether you are accepting a job at a new company, being promoted or have gradually taken on more & more responsibilities in your current position, it is important to negotiate for the job title & pay grade level that reflect the tasks & level of responsibility of your role.

Having a title that is on par with your position provides you with clear authority, supports your compensation & enables your mobility. Learn why each of these benefits is valuable & how to protect yourself from the risks of having a job title or grade level that does not recognize the extent of your authority or the magnitude or your contributions.

Do you struggle to enjoy what you are doing? Is it difficult to feel satisfied with what you already have? Are you driven by the constant hope of things being better in the future -- or by the relentless fear of either doing something wrong or of something going wrong?

If so, the fierce trio of the familiar, fantasy & fear may be ruling your life -- from your major life decisions to your daily actions. Are you being terrorized by the three Fs? If you are like many high achievers, it is likely that you are subject to their dictates & that you are not aware of the extent to which they control what you think, feel & do.

Identify how it feels & looks to be oppressed by the familiar, fantasy & fear. Learn why it is so painful & limiting. And gain skills to break free of their tyranny. Gain practical approaches to be able to choose what serves you well. Understand how the three Fs pull you away from today & reality, trap you in the past & the future & tie you to distracting fantasies & unrealistic nightmares. Learn to think, live, take action & experience enjoyment in the real-life present moment -- a place & time where the tyranny of the familiar, fantasy & fear have little power to reign.