There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The COVID crisis has been stalked by shadow pandemics—one of domestic which is the increase in abuse. Since the first outbreak of the virus, numerous reports have highlighted a marked increase in forms of domestic violence and abuse, especially intimate partner violence and domestic homicide. The surge in domestic violence has not just been associated with instructions to stay home, but also linked to the economic and social stresses on households that have resulted from this pandemic. And now most of the world is entering into a second wave.
There are human costs to lockdowns, besides the economic ones, that can ravage lives just as badly as any disease.Home isolation, is giving more power to the abuser. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are victims of physical violence by an intimate partnering the United States, this equates to more than 10 million men and women.
One of those forms of abuse is through a Narcissistic partner. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
You only exist in terms of your value to his Ego. Once that’s done after your disillusionment, he takes off his mask and he’s done with you.
Narcissist spin their web of terror and deceit skillfully trapping the victim, who often times question their sanity such is emotional toll of the abuse. Experts have compared their methods to that of what kidnappers use to control hostages and regimes use to break the will of their political prisoners.
Todays guest, Holly Hatch, endured 20 years of some of the most horrific forms of narcissistic abuse in her marriage. One day Holly finally worked up the courage to leave and stand up for her and her children. When you think of someone leaving a bad situation, from the outside it seems pretty cut and dry. Just leave! but unfortunately it isn’t as the reasons are rooted deeply in trauma. As difficult as that was she knew it had to be done.
Upon being moved to Los Angeles in an order to isolate the family, things got worse and Holly and the kids were physically abused. The kids were voicing their disdain and pain and holly knew she had to surrender her fears and leave which she did, turning him into the authorities and never looking back.
Left with $19 and no place to live, each and every day was a struggle but also a healing journey to healing and restoration to individuality.
When looking back to her climb to freedom, Holly leaned upon her loved ones and faith to carry her through he struggle of being a single mom, working full time and unwrapping the layers of paint and wounds from a man who was supposed to be a loving father and husband.
Fast forward a few years and Holly feels blessed to be alive and that her and the kids are thriving, healing and looking forward, happy to wake up each day free of fear.
In today’s conversation, Holly returns to the depth of the darkness to tell her story and share her path to freedom. Her hope is to inspire and pave a way for others showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you or someone you know is a victim please listen and share.
Some Questions I Ask:
- How did your story begin? (8:25)
- What are some warning signs you are with a Narcissist? (25:05)
- What is "word salad" (27:30)
- What are some steps to get away from a perpetrator? (34:00)
In This Episode, You Will Hear:
- Holly's story and her path to freedom (8:28)
- Gaslighting and other control tactics that rewire how you think (25:37)
- The dangers when the mask comes off (28:00)
- How guns in the abusers home leads to a higher risk of homicide (30:30)
- How many victims of abuse suffer from PTSD (33:00)
- How developing mental strength is key to getting out of an abusive situation (34:22)
- How paramount it is to have a plan (28:26)
- Developing a support system (36:14)
- How seeking refuge is necessary once once you speak out against abuser (42:43)
- What it means to live with an awakened heart (44:14)
Resources
Project Sanctuary
NCADV
7 signs of Narcissist Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse Examples
Narcissist Victim Syndrome
Baggage Reclaim
Connect with Holly
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Facebook - Diary of Narcissist Abuse
Holly & Chris Luxury Homes
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