The Baby Sleep Connection: Holistic help for tired, responsive parents who don't want to sleep train

When sleep feels like a challenge, parents want to know what they can do to get their child to sleep longer.  And to do that, many parents look at what needs to be changed in the child

–what does their child need to do to make this feel better.

But what if your child’s sleep is actually typical for their age?  What then?

In this episode, Heather Boyd explores some of the reasons why sleep can be atypical for children, and what to do if their sleep is actually typical but you are struggling  with the wake ups, early rising, and short naps.

Heather asks parents to reflect on:

• What is getting in your child’s way of sleeping?

• How are your child’s sleep patterns impacting you and the family?

• What are your perceptions of the problem?

• What else is making this hard (outside of sleep)?

• What are your perceptions of what this should look like?

• What needs to change (to improve your baby’s sleep and to increase your capacity for managing the current sleep situation)?

  
  

Ultimately, you could ask yourself, “If I stopped measuring my child’s sleep against an ideal, what would I actually want to be different?”.  Chances are your answer goes far beyond your baby’s sleep.

Here’s to the coming months/season/stage of your parenting providing you with rest, connection, and meaning.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Lyndsey Hookway has often said “It’s hard because it’s hard”.  I quoted her spontaneously in this episode and didn’t give her credit.  Lyndsey is the author of Holistic Sleep Coaching and co-facilitator of The Holistic Sleep Coaching Program.  You can find her at lyndseyhookway.com.  

  
  

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.
• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1
• Book a screening call with Heather (receipts provided for Ontario families)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

I am excited to be joined today by my good friend and sleep colleague Kim Hawley.  Kim is an IBCLC and Holistic Sleep Coach from Washington, D.C., and is my go-to person for rich conversations about what matters most when helping families through sleep challenges.

In this episode, Kim and I talk about how big motor movements can be a game changer for better bedtimes and easier night time sleep.

In this conversation, Kim and I explore:

• Why we ended up connecting with each other around the idea of big body movement

• What is big body play, and how does it connect to the sensory system and regulation

• Alternatives to “too calm” and “too frantic” bedtime approaches

• The value of curiosity in tailoring evening routines and activities for sleep

• What does big body movement look like, and how does it change as your baby develops

To learn more parent strategies for motor play and regulation for sleep, you can get A Guide to Big Body Play for Better Sleep at familysleep.ca/resources.

Mentioned in today’s episode:

• The resource that Kim and I have developed together is available for purchase at familysleep.ca/resources

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.
• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ at https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1
• Book a screening call with Heather (Occupational Therapy receipts are provided for families from most provinces in Canada)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

If I had to give you just three non-negotiables for better sleep, here is what they’d be:

1. Ask yourself what your child needs in this moment.  Not what you wish they needed.  Not what you want them to need.  But what they actually need.  This one shift can help you move away from whackamole sleep strategies to preserving the relationship and settling your baby more easily.

   
   

2. Keep it simple.  So often, parents take the hard road because they think they are supposed to do sleep support a particular way.  When that happens, the easy solutions can be missed.  Find the strategy that makes sense for you and your baby –not the strategy that worked for someone on the internet.

   
   

3. Keep your eye on the ultimate goal.  Parents frequently think that a particular strategy is their goal –night weaning, moving their child out of your bed or bedroom, or putting your child down drowsy but awake.  These aren’t goals: they are strategies that may (or may not!) work to get your goal.  What’s your actual goal?  It’s likely more about feeling well rested, having some time to yourself, meeting your baby’s needs without feeling burned out, helping your baby get good quality sleep, or having a more predictable schedule.  When we focus on the goal, we start looking at strategies as tools, rather than as rules..  

What’s your non-negotiable in supporting your baby’s sleep?

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1

• Book a screening call with Heather (receipts provided for Ontario families)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Summer is drawing to an end, which brings many parents a desire to get back to “routine”, to  get some predictability in their schedule, and to tighten up bedtimes.

In this episode, Heather explores where routines and rhythms really come from (it’s not all on you as the parent!), and how to put in some sense of routine and predictability for yourself, even when your baby’s routine or rhythm is not well-established yet.

Listen to this episode to learn how:

1. Rhythm is a neurophysiological process that comes from the inside.  Your baby’s developing nervous system –and yours!-- influences what sleep and daytime activities will look like.

2. Routine and rhythm is influenced and supported from the outside -the physical, relationship-based, and social environment. That’s where you come in!

3. To claim some control over predictable routines in order to support your own need for routine, even if your baby’s routines are not well-developed yet.

Here’s to finding a routine and rhythm that support both you and your baby.

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1

• 
  Book a screening call with Heather (receipts provided for Ontario families)Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

I’m joined today by Shelley Mannell, pediatric physiotherapist from St. Catharines, Ontario, and champion of the concept that core stability is key for movement, infant development, and emotional regulation.

In this conversation, Shelley and I explore:

• How infant developmental milestones are just the beginning of the story

• Why core stability supports postural control, balance, and sensory processing 

• How the recruitment of core muscles is as crucial for post-partum moms and babies alike

• The unintended consequences of “Back to Sleep” and what to do to balance this out

• Understanding movement for children with neuromotor differences and neurodiversity

• Tummy time and babywearing

  
  

Shelley Mannell is a mentor, physiotherapist, and international speaker who co-created Dynamic Core for Kids, an evidence-based approach to central stability for children with motor and sensory differences. Through teaching, mentorship, and clinical practice, Shelley has shared her knowledge and experience with clinicians and families internationally.

You can find her on Instagram and Facebook at @heartspacept, on HeartspacePT’s learning platform, https://heartspacept.thinkific.com/, and at her website, https://heartspacept.com.  Her course for pediatric therapists, Foundation for Function: Understanding Dynamic Systems in Postural Control is available at https://heartspacept.thinkific.com/courses/foundation-for-function

Shelley's course ,Dynamic Core for Kids: Stability in Action, co-taught with Julie Wiebe, PT, is available at  https://heartspacept.thinkific.com/courses/dynamic-core-for-kids-stability-in-action

Mentioned in today’s episode:

• Julie Wiebe, California-based sports medicine and women’s health physiotherapist, and co-creator of Dynamic Core for Kids, and Pediatric Pelvic Health: Dynamic Core for Kids Edition

• Paul Hodges, Australian researcher of central stability, https://shrs.uq.edu.au/profile/157/paul-hodges

• Karen Adolph https://as.nyu.edu/faculty/karen-adolph.html

  
  

  What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1

• Book a screening call with Heather (Occupational Therapy receipts are provided for families from most provinces in Canada)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Are we over-optimizing baby sleep and trying to make it “perfect”?

Strategies that make sleep easier are worthwhile, but when we expect that if we simply “do it right”, we’ll reach the finish line with sleep, we forget that sleep is not a machine or circuit board that just has to be put together right to “work”.  

In this episode, Heather Boyd, pediatric occupational therapist and certified sleep coach explores optimizing strategies that support sleep while also taking the pressure off of thinking that you need to work harder on your baby’s sleep to make it better.

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for the Podcast Listener’s Guide with Heather’s list of favourite podcasts, episodes, and books.  (familysleep.ca/podcast)

•  Book a screening call with Heather (receipts provided for Ontario families) (familysleep.ca/contact)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

When things aren’t where we think they should be, we can feel intense pressure to change something NOW.  

With your baby’s sleep, that might look like pressure to change your bedtime routine, night time responding, or nap schedule.  And when change comes from worry, rather than from what you and your baby are ready for, the temptation is to throw every and all strategy at the situation, rather than doing what makes the most sense under the circumstances.

If you’re feeling the pressure to change sleep ASAP -whether it’s coming from feeling that sleep isn’t where it “should” be, or it’s coming from external pressure (social media, your mother), have a listen.

This episode explores:

1. The 3 situations when making an immediate change IS important

2. Why we feel pressure to change things right away

3. Why temporary, unsustainable changes can sometimes make sense

4. How to put your attention on the present reality of sleep to make real, sustainable change to how sleep looks

5. Why slowing down and being curious about what’s working, what’s not, and what you like about what’s happening may be a bigger positive change than you think. 

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1

• Book a screening call with Heather (receipts provided for Ontario families)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Join Heather Boyd, Occupational Therapist, sleep coach, and mother of 3 as she explores how to ask the right questions to solve your baby’s sleep.

As an Occupational Therapist, Heather knows the value of understanding who your baby is, where they sleep, what sleep looks like, and what routine your baby has.  She delves into each of these questions using her BEAR framework (Baby, Environment, Activity, and Routine), a framework she has been using for several years to understand her clients and their challenges better.

Whether you are a sleep-deprived parent or a sleep coach, this framework will help you focus your attention and build your understanding in order to support your baby's sleep.

Here’s to asking the questions that lead you and your baby to more rest, connection, and ease.

What you can do next:

1. Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.
2. Get the Podcast Listener Guide with episode suggestions and more.  https://heatherboyd.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1170166
3. Book a screening call with Heather (receipts are provided to those in many provinces in Canada -talk with Heather to find out if your province has a Memorandum of Understanding to provide remote occupational therapy)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

How do I think about infant sleep as an occupational therapist and holistic sleep educator? What framework allows me to understand and address your family’s sleep challenges?

In this episode, I outline the 3 pillars of my practice, and how I use these three pillars on our first call together to get a clear picture of what sleep looks like for your family.  Understanding these 3 pillars lets me start honing in on what we’ll focus on in our work together.

The 3 pillars are:

1. Development (sleep and other milestones, temperament, sensory development, social-emotional development)

2. Environment (not just the physical environment, but the way the day is laid out, and how parents are doing, too!)

3. Attachment (the way your baby seeks attachment changes with development; finding ways to meet the attachment needs while also shaping and supporting sleep development)

If this approach resonates with you, I’d be happy to connect with you on a 30 minute screening call.  Families often leave that call with more confidence that getting sleep coaching support is the right next step.  Even families who chose not to pursue coaching after the screening call still report feeling heard (sometimes for the first time in a long time) and more hopeful. 

Mentioned in today’s episode:

• Neufeld Institute: neufeldinstitute.org

What you can do next:

Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

• Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1
• Book a screening call with Heather (Occupational Therapy receipts are provided for families from many provinces in Canada)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

There’s a lot to feel frustrated and run down about with your baby’s sleep.  But the flip side of the coin matters too.

In this episode, we explore the positive side of baby sleep: what happens with sleep, what it can teach you, and what you gain from it (yes, truly!).

If you’ve been struggling to see the positive side of baby sleep, have a listen while I explore:

1. Sleep development

2. Uncoupling sleep from problem solving.

3. Letting go, acceptance, and control

4. Forcing rest

5. Empowerment as a parent who knows your baby best

Mentioned in today’s episode:

• Harvey Karp

• Sarah Ockwell-Smith

What you can do next:

Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!  Provide a review on Apple Podcasts.  It truly makes a difference to reaching families who would benefit from understanding their baby’s sleep better.

Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails.⁠ https://heatherboyd.activehosted.com/f/1

Book a screening call with Heather (Occupational Therapy receipts are provided for families from most provinces in Canada)

Credits: 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood