Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and mom of 3, shares ways that separation-based advice backfires and what to do instead.

When parents get advice that involves separation without any focus on attachment, it can block a parent's ability to help their children regulate.  Whether it’s daytime meltdowns or bedtime shenanigans, separation can feel very alarming.

Listen to this episode for examples of bad separation-based advice that Heather wishes she’d ignored early on in parenting, and what to do instead.  

With attachment-based perspectives and tools, as well as self-regulation tools for parents, the focus shifts to connection and co-regulation.

And with connection and co-regulation, the alarm of separation can soften.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Gordon Neufeld: “Speak but not too much.  Be close but not too close” www.neufeldinstitute.com

• Kim Barthell: Be a behavioural detective.  www.kimbarthel.ca

• Parent Self-Care Toolkit https://heatherboyd.vipmembervault.com/products/units/view/1239883/?lesson=1601156

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• • Download the Parent Self-Care Toolkit at https://heatherboyd.vipmembervault.com/products/units/view/1239883/?lesson=1601156
  • Find previous episodes of the podcast at familysleep.ca/podcast
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Credits:

 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

In Part 2 of Sleep Emergencies, Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and sleep coach, explores a shift she has seen in her private practice away from “preventing” sleep challenges towards more sleep emergencies, and increased parent stress.

The impact on mental health is significant, and getting the appropriate supports is crucial.

At a time when stress and information overwhelm are high, parents who are struggling with their child’s sleep are also experiencing feelings of guilt and shame.  This only adds to the burden parents are carrying.

Listen in to explore:

1. How Bad advice can be worse than no advice at all.

2. How social media and information overwhelm are making parents feel like they are not measuring up

3. How to shift to more preventative measures when sleep or parenting are getting challenging

4. How creating a sleep emergency plan may actually lead to options you have not considered that actually help your baby sleep.

5. Why getting support can make all the difference

   
   

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links

• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

• Find previous episodes of the podcast at familysleep.ca/podcast

  
  

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

What is a sleep emergency?

How is it different than difficult sleep that needs coaching.

And when is it a mental health emergency requiring medical attention?

Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and certified infant and family sleep specialist, explores these questions and offers strategies for getting support and managing a sleep emergency including:

• Signs and symptoms of a mental health crisis that warrants intervention without delay

• Who to reach out to in a mental health crisis

• Signs that what you are experiencing is a sleep emergency

• What to do about a sleep emergency

• How sleep coaching plays a role (and when it’s not enough)

• Preventative steps for sleep emergencies

• How to consider caregivers and feeding in a sleep emergency

Additional Resources:

If you are struggling, call for support without delay: your doctor, your midwife, your therapist or when it is a crisis, 911 or your local crisis line.

Call your local crisis line -in Niagara Ontario it's COAST (Crisis Outreach And Support Team, available 24/7). In the U.S. call the Maternal Mental Health Line (https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline). Internationally, reach out through Postpartum Support International at https://postpartum.net/ . Go to the Emergency Department or call 911 if you worry that you or your partner or spouse is at risk of harming themselves or their baby.

Getting the support you need matters.

Mentioned in this episode:

The concept of sleep emergencies is from Lyndsey Hookway in a talk a number of years ago. Lyndsey Hookway is an IBCLC and founder of the Holistic Sleep Coach training in the United Kingdom at https://lyndseyhookway.com/hscp/

If you found value in this podcast:

1. Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!
2. Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/podcast
3. Book a screening call with Heather Boyd at familysleep.ca
4. Find previous episodes at familysleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Sleep associations often get a “bad wrap”, being labelled crutches or bad habits.

In this episode, Heather breaks down what a sleep association is, what it isn’t, and how to appreciate the role sleep associations have in making bedtimes more pleasant.

Sharing parallels with routines and habits we have during the day, as well as sleep associations that we as adults use, Heather makes a case for judgement-free sleep associations and why doing what works, and changing what doesn’t, is a helpful approach at any age.

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!
• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links
• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.
• Find previous episodes of the podcast at infantsleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Laila, mom of two and host of the popular Learning To Mom Podcast, shares her personal story about discovering what prenatal depression is and why she has come to understand that prenatal depression may have been part of what made her unexpected pregnancy at age 24 so challenging.

This is a heartfelt conversation that runs the gamut from laughter to vulnerability.

Although the circumstances of Laila’s journey are unique to her, and where she found support may be different than for you, her message is important: when you understand your experience, and you know what may be happening to you, it becomes easier to get the support you need to survive and thrive at a very challenging time.  It can also reduce the guilt and shame you may be feeling around how you are navigating pregnancy and motherhood.

In this episode:

• Laila talks openly about her personal struggles and what helped her.  

• She outlines the common symptoms of prenatal depression, what the risk factors are, and 8 tips she has for families based on her experience.

  
  

If you are struggling with depression (prenatally, postnatally, or outside of pregnancy altogether), talk with your doctor or mental health professional today, be honest with what you are feeling, and get the support you deserve.

If you are the spouse, partner, or loving family member or friend who sees your loved one struggling, do not hesitate to help them get help.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brianna Wiest, on Self-Care https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2024/04/this-is-what-self-care-really-means-because-its-not-all-salt-baths-and-chocolate-cake-2/

Additional Resources:

• Prenatal Depression Resources.  If you are struggling, call for support without delay: your doctor, midwife your therapist.  Call your local COAST (Crisis Outreach And Support Team, available 24/7), or local Mental Health Association (CMHA.ca in Canada).  Call 911 if you or your partner or spouse is having a mental health crisis.  

• Canada’s new (2024) resource for prescription drugs during pregnancy https://www.healthypregnancyhub.ca/ based on research from the https://motherchildcohort.ca/

  
  

You can find Laila at:

• https://www.instagram.com/learningtomom.podcast

• https://www.learningtomompodcast.com

• [email protected]

  
  

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links

• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

• Find previous episodes of the podcast at familysleep.ca/podcast

• And do ONE THING right this moment that helps you feel grounded –take a deep belly breath, wiggle your toes, make some tea, look up at the stars, or anything else you can do easily that feels good.

  
  

Credits:

 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

What if your baby’s sleep was a language you just haven’t become fluent in yet?

It can be frustrating to try to figure out what interrupted sleep, resistant naps, or frequent waking are telling us. But if we start looking at this as a language we can learn, the cues become like words, and patterns begin to form sentences that help us understand what our baby needs.

Mentioned in this episode:

1. Listen to the clues that help you figure out sleep.
2. Know that sleep may be communicating something outside of sleep altogether.
3. The need for connection and safety may be the key thing your baby is communicating.
4. What are the clues we see when sleep is going well? (It’s not just long stretches of sleep!)
5. How do we translate what we are seeing with baby sleep when it’s not going well?

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links

• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

• Find previous episodes of the podcast at familysleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Have you been doing “everything right” with your baby’s schedule, following a rigid instructions of a nap and bedtime schedule you found in a book or online and still feel like sleep isn’t working?

Listen to 3 key perspectives that will have you rethinking your relationship to your baby’s sleep schedule.

Ultimately:

1. Sleep schedules are tools, not solutions.
2. Stress (in you or your baby) can lead to sleep disruptions that no schedule can fix. Address the stress, connect, and regulate the nervous system.
3. Regulation strategies that focus on connection help you see more clearly what sleep routine or schedule works best for your baby in this moment
4. Sensory strategies that use movement, proprioception, heavy work, and vestibular experiences are an important foundation to a regulated nervous system that can fall asleep more easily.

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/podcast -it includes a breakdown of how much sleep to expect at each age

• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Whether you are a first-time mom or have multiple kids, there are a few things Heather would want to share with you over a cup of tea (or decaf Americano) to make sleep development easier to navigate.

Listen in as she reassures listeners that:

Your baby is not broken (and you did NOT break their sleep)

Your approach is going to be unique and doesn’t have to follow the rules of any one approach.

There’s no “good enough parent club” you have to tick boxes in to be a member in good standing.

You deserve support and you aren’t supposed to do this all on your own.

Worth exploring after this episode:

• Self-Care versus Community Care: Episode 18 of The Baby Sleep Connection with Mr. Chazz https://infantsleep.ca/podcast/ep-18-mr-chazz-lewis/

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links for a resource on how much sleep your baby likely needs at each age and stage and more

• Book a Sleep Screening Call familysleep.ca/contact

• Find previous episodes of the podcast at familysleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

Angela Sacco talks with Heather about how to give birth through the perspective of yoga.

In the interview we talk about:

How sounds during labour support opening of your cervix (and what sounds to make)

Breath, and its role in birthing your baby

How the vagus nerve supports you in staying in a regulated parasympathetic state and staying out of sympathetic fight or flight

The connection between fear and pain

Visualizing (and how it’s ok if it’s not a strategy that you lean on)

How much a sense of community is underestimated in supporting pregnancy and motherhood

The number one question parents ask Angela

Trusting your instincts

What you really need when you have your baby (spoiler: it’s not as much as you think)

Angela’s roles, past and present, as doula, yoga instructor, and owner of Between Mothers in St. Catharines Ontario

And much more

We also get interrupted by a phone ringing and a cat meowing (#reallife)

To learn more about Angela, go to betweenmothers.ca, facebook.com/betweenmothers

What you can do next:

Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

Don’t miss the next episode of The Baby Sleep Connection: ⁠Sign up for weekly baby sleep emails (which includes a heads up when a new podcast episode is released

⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

Find previous episodes of the podcast at infantsleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

🎵 Music: Jordan Wood

You Ask, I Answer!

Join Heather as she answers questions about how to bridge to the next connection without interrupting the bedtime routine, and how to problem solve 2 hour bedtimes.

She covers:

• What is bridging to the next connection?

• How to use the Boomerang method of leaving your child at bedtime, but returning before they call out to you (or chase you out of the room!)

• Ways to reconnect and build trust that you’re coming back

• How to use connection, play, and song to allow sleep to happen.

• Why 2 hour bedtimes are usually a timing issue

• How to change naps, gaps (between last nap and bedtime), and bedtiming to solve 2 hour bedtimes

• How total sleep in a 24 hour period can impact bedtimes and bedtiming

• How to use temporarily late bedtimes to eliminate long bedtimes

• How to role back bedtime to a reasonable hour!

Mentioned in this episode:

• Episode 49 Bridging to the Next Connection https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Js2U8TkS53CdsnBpi1J5d?si=42a7b4021a894f55

What you can do next:

• Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!

• Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links

• ⁠Work with Heather⁠ inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.

• Ask your sleep question!  Email Heather at [email protected] (use the subject line You Ask I Answer Podcast)

• Find previous episodes of the podcast at infantsleep.ca/podcast

Credits:

 🎵 Music: Jordan Wood