The Bad Television Show

This episode may have been a mistake. But we’ll let you be the judge of that. After recording the American Ninja Warrior episode we decided to stay up and record this episode on Strong. Eva is so tired (and/or drunk?) that she gets real punchy by the end (“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkk thiiiiiiiiiiiisss!”) and even confuses Safeway with Subway. But any way, we hate on this show pretty bad (“Why you gotta do me like that, Silvester Stallom??”) We’re pretty clear on what’s not working: the editing, the premise, the details, the concept, the execution, the stars…Glad we could be of service, community!

So you love American Ninja Warrior? So do we. But we also kind of admit it has some bad moments (primarily backstory). In this episode we ogle swinging bods, get catty (listen for the bleep), and make lots of fun reaction sounds (“OOOooo, Ughhhh!”) during the running of the obstacles. And we make a shit-ton of observations. Come for the American Ninja Warrior and stay for the repartee.

Most of our episodes thus far have been about bad TV we love to watch, but this time we go in a new direction and watch a show that’s just a chore. Have you ever had your legs waxed? It’s mostly painful with little moments of respite, it’s pretty much unnecessary, but for some ungodly reason you force yourself to sit through it until the end. Scorpion is basically like that. But somehow it’s made it to its second season on CBS. Are there really fans of this show? If so, please come forward and educate us, because we’re baffled. Tune in to this episode of the podcast to hear major groans, some surprising factoids, a goodbye to Downton Abbey and more, all punctuated by Eva’s annoying laugh (who laughs like that??). Also, Andrew shows his lack of command of the English alphabet, as he can’t keep B, C, and D listers straight. Click play, because we watch bad TV so you don’t have to!

We open this episode of The Bad Television Show with a musical homage to Downton Abbey’s recent use of a bad, bad device: coughing blood (Season 6, Episode 5 to be exact). When “Chuck” Grantham’s ulcer bursts, he showers everyone at dinner with a sanguine spray (Cheers, Robert Crawley). It’s awesome. But moving on, the real focus of this installment is a deliciously bad show on CBS: Fit It or Live With It, hosted by former underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr. We compare and contrast it with our favorite home renovation shows, including Property Bothers and This Old House Is Out of Your Price Range. Andrew debuts his lyrical genius and Eva debuts a shitty cough. You can’t miss it. Also, if you have something to say about a bad television show, get in touch! We’re looking for you!

Originally we were just going to make this a segment, but we had so much to say about Jane The Virgin we ended up with a whole other episode. Thusly, we introduce a new segment entitled “Is It Bad?” to determine if listener-suggested shows are or are not really bad television, per us. Thanks to Prof D for suggesting Jane The Virgin. Academic knobs are turned to 11 as we refer to Charles Ramirez Berg and Joseph Campbell, dissect stereotypes and attempt rambling, tangential comparisons to Ugly Betty.  Unavoidably, geography mistakes are made. (Andrew forgets where the Caucasus Mountains are.) Also, Eva demonstrates some of her slowest talking to date.

In this episode we pay homage to Andrew’s mom, the PBS crowd, and all those suckers for British accents as we take on Doc Martin. Of course, the inevitable comparisons with House MD ensue, and we ask ourselves why the socially awkward savant is such a singularly popular figure in so much contemporary television (beyond the aforementioned, think Temperance Brennan–featured in our first installment–and Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory, for example.) We air our grievances regarding the show’s formulas, the horrible relationship between Louisa and Martin and the simplistic patterns of diagnoses. But we also delight in the charms of Portwenn and honor the show that has the power to get a grandmother to learn how to binge watch online.

What is there to say that hasn’t already been said about NBC’s golden goose, The Voice? In this Episode of The Bad Television Show, we mock The Voice for its over-the-top appeals to sentimentality through contestants’ adversity stories, but also celebrate the effectiveness of its kindness campaign. We speculate a little on how the hell voting works, and make a case for who should (but mostly who shouldn’t) win The Voice. Of course, this episode wouldn’t be complete without at least a few minutes of celebrity gossip, but we rather missed the boat by not paying attention to the tabloids sooner and have nothing to say about Gwen and Blake’s burgeoning romance. What you will find, however, is a solid six seconds of Andrew make fun of Eva for sounding like Barack Obama. But wait, there’s more! Just click play.

In our first show we randomly take on season 6 episode 20 of Bones starring Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz. Miraculously, this Wikipedia-defined crime procedural comedy-drama series is still on Fox after 10 seasons. We talk about the formula that Bones fans have come to love and expect–from an episodic standpoint and from a seasonal standpoint. We argue that while the predictability of this formula is like a comforting lullaby, it’s the surprise nuggets sparsely sprinkled through every season that break the mold and really keep viewers hanging on for more. Every night I know that human remains will be discovered and that together the cast of characters will help the socially awkward genius (a dominant figure in contemporary television) figure out who dunnit. But maybe, just maybe tonight is the night the writers will throw me a little something extra (fingers crossed!). Tune in to find out…