The Ballad Of Anne & Mary

Attention, fans of the esoteric! Magenta & Bernard are here with a very exciting announcement!

AN AUDIENCE WITH MADAME MAGENTA (& BERNARD) will be live at the London Podcast Festival 2026.

The show is on Sunday September 6th, 4:30pm, at Kings Place, London (5 minute walk from Kings Cross station).

And you can get tickets by tapping this link right here!

This is part of an Audio Drama Day, and you'll want to stick around for other live shows by We Fix Space Junk, Camlann, Wooden Overcoats and more.

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How to buy Concessions tickets

There are concession rate tickets available for our show, but Kings Place doesn't make the process very clear, so we will guide you through it! Here's what to do.

- Create an account on the Kings Place website

- Once you've entered your details, go to the tab "Other Preferences"

- Here you will find a number of tickboxes. Here you can select any accessibility requirements you require.

- Scroll down to the heading "Sign up for our Income Support Scheme". This gives you tickboxes to say whether you receive Disability Benefit, Income Support, Pension Credit, Universal Credit, Job Seekers allowance, or you are a student.

- Select the option that fits your circumstances.

- Go back to our show listing, and select "Book Tickets"

- It will only offer Standard tickets, BUT - at the final checkout stage, you should see your concession discount! So you can now go ahead and buy your ticket.

That's it! If you have any problems, please do let us know, and we will help. We can't wait to meet you all there!

Laurence & Lindsay / Magenta & Bernard x

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Here's the link to our Bandcamp page

And here's the link to our Ko-fi page

Hello, listeners! It’s us again. Hopefully you listened to our last message. If you didn’t, it was about how we’re taking all our shows off Spotify.

And now, that time has come: as of today, we’ve requested their removal. Spotify makes the process as opaque as possible, so we don’t have a definitive date for when they will disappear, but it is imminent.

So, where can you find us once we’re off Spotify?

Where are we putting our brand new season of Mockery Manor?

Are we making sure there’s always a free way to listen to it?

Firstly, yes, there are many ways to listen to our shows for free. They will continue to exist on almost all podcast platforms - except Spotify. The free versions include adverts, although we try to keep those to a minimum.

If you’d prefer to listen to Mockery without adverts - and who wouldn’t - then the most ethical way to do that is one we’ve just launched, where for only £3.49, you can purchase a whole season of Mockery on Bandcamp. And if you’re wondering why we chose £3.49, that’s because that was the average cost of a CD single in around 2002, when I started buying music.

All our scripted podcasts are now available on Bandcamp, and they sound much better. The audio quality of a podcast is higher there than on any other online platform. MUCH higher. That’s because podcast platforms use compressed MP3s, while on Bandcamp, everything is CD-quality, high definition lossless audio.

And unlike other online services, Bandcamp pays artists fairly. In a world that seems to be trying to destroy creators, services like Bandcamp means we can keep going.

Also, Bandcamp’s profits DO NOT go into the pockets of mass murderers! What a world, where that’s even a thing.

We’ve always given our monthly supporters free access to our music albums on Bandcamp, but going forward, they’ll also have access to unlimited plays of our podcasts in high definition, so join us over on Ko-fi for that delicious perk.

Mockery Manor season 4 is due out this summer, so please do listen to it for free on any other podcast platform, or for £3.49 on Bandcamp.

See you on the other side!

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Hey everyone, Laurence here.

We wanted to let you know about a special event we have planned. 

This month, we're celebrating the 5th anniversary of the Ballad of Anne & Mary - I can't believe how the time has flown. 

And this Saturday (that's the 4th April), Lindsay and I will be holding a live listening party of the first episode, Take The Steel.

We're going to be listening to the whole thing, sharing director's commentary style insights about the making of the show, the music, the writing etc etc. 

And there'll also be a chance to chat with us and ask us any questions you have about the making of our pirate musical. 

It'll be starting from 8pm UK time (that's 3pm ET)

We'll be streaming live simultaneously on the Long Cat Media YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitch pages.

We really hope you'll be able to join us for a little hang, and a celebration and relisten of The Ballad of Anne & Mary. 

That's all for now - hopefully see you this Saturday! 

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Hello, Laurence & Lindsay here. We've got a big problem, and we need your help.

If you're listening to this on Spotify, we're asking you to stop, and switch to another podcast player.

As I'm sure most of you know, there's plenty of evidence that Spotify is a terrible company with a long history of exploiting and underpaying artists, but that's only part of why it's so bad.

It's been reported that Spotify's CEO, Daniel Ek, has recently invested millions of Euros of your subscription fees in an AI weaponry company called Helsing. This company has developed an automated target identification system, with the option to keep a human in the loop. In other words, it's machines selecting which humans to kill on the battlefield.

It's also been reported Spotify donated $150,000 to the Trump campaign, and it's recently been running ICE recruitment ads. It is a powerful force for bad.

So here's our problem. Almost half of our total listenership comes from Spotify, and the adverts that we run are how we make our money. If we just pulled our podcasts straight away, that would be a huge financial blow for us.

So we would like to urge you to listen elsewhere, on another podcast player. Lots of people recommend one called Pocket Casts, we've also heard good things about Podcast Addict. In the last month, we've had downloads from about 50 different podcast players, so there are plenty of alternatives.

We've going to take our podcasts off Spotify as soon as it becomes clear that there is a real movement to cancel Spotify subscriptions and move to other platforms, and that movement is growing.

For you, thankfully, this doesn't cost anything. Podcasts are, and will always be, free to listen to on any platform. Like we said, a lot of people seem to like Pocket Casts, and as far as we know, they're not evil. There are also a ton of others to choose from - all very accessible, and all free.

If you've ever enjoyed our podcasts, or you're about to discover them, thank you so much for listening. Let's try and do the right thing.

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Madame Magenta and Bernard are doing a YouTube Livestream THIS TUESDAY 15th July!

Tune in to the ⁠Long Cat Media YouTube Channel⁠ from 6pm-10pm BST (that's UK time).

We're going to be raising money for MAP (Medical Aid for Palestinians) all evening. Please do check out ⁠our JustGiving page⁠, and if you want to submit a question for Magenta in advance of the stream, all you have to do is make a donation and ask your question in the comments box!

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Magenta and Bernard have a new show! It's called WHAM: We Have A Movie, and you can find it wherever you're listening to this.

Join Magenta and Bernard as they invent smash hit movies based on popular toys, books, history and more! A podcast for anyone who likes Hollywood tropes. And comedy. And quantum mechanics. And BDSM. Something for everyone, really. From Long Cat Media, the creators of Mockery Manor, The Ballad Of Anne & Mary, Madame Magenta and Magenta Presents.

Head over to WHAM and listen now!

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Subscribe to Magenta Presents on your podcast player of choice!

Hey folks, Laurence here...

And today we are so excited to introduce OUR new show.

We have a new podcast that's just started, it's called MAGENTA PRESENTS.

It's a horror anthology series, in the tradition of classic anthology shows like Tales From The Crypt and Elvira, in which Madame Magenta is your horror hostess and guide to the unnatural and the bizarre.

And the first story in Magenta Presents is a five-episode miniseries called GHOSTED.

A full audio drama, written and directed by Lindsay, with music and sound design by me, and starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn in the main roles. 

Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge is a former lighthouse; now a charming, boutique hotel. Owner and sole occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones, preparing for her first guest to arrive. But when they do, to Beth's horror, it is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Keira. Face-to-face for the first time in years, the pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. And something else, besides. Because the lighthouse has a past too.

We're going to play you the first episode now, and you can hear the next episode by subscribing to Magenta Presents wherever you get podcasts, you can also go to www.longcatmedia.com, or you can tap the link in the show notes of this episode. 

And now we really hope you enjoy GHOSTED, episode 1.

www.longcatmedia.com

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Previously: Bob appears to Mist in a dream, and shows him the capture of The Revenge by pirate-turned-privateer Jonathan Barnet. Anne and Read fight to the last, Bob is shot in battle, and dies in Mist’s arms. Mist then awakes, incarcerated in Barnet’s house, where a raging Barnet tells him that he is planning to torture Anne and Read for the location of Rackham’s treasure - but, Scratby insists, only after 4 o’clock tomorrow, as the pirates are scheduled to be visited by a high-paying baroness. Barnet then makes Mist a fugitive by exposing treasonous documents collected from his lodgings. Mist is then rescued from captivity by Bess, who helps him escape through Barnet’s window, and hides him at her gaff. Meanwhile, Anne hoodwinks a well-meaning turnkey into delivering a coded letter to Mist that outlines her plan to escape Newgate, with Read at her side... In this episode: It’s prison break time, you slubberdegullions. Featuring Christina Bianco as Anne Bonny, Sooz Kempner as Mary Read, Karl Queensborough as Nathaniel Mist, John Henry Falle as Jonathan Barnet, Carole Stennett as Bess the Ballad Singer, Laurence Owen as Pippin, the Musician, the MP, Turnkey Peters and additional voices, Hayley Evenett as Bob and Henrietta, James Ducker as Turnkey Scratby, Lindsay Sharman as the Baroness, the Midwife and additional voices, and Ivan Wilkinson as Turnkey Gregory. Further additional voices by Dominic Brewer and Helen Fullerton. Produced by Long Cat Media. Artwork by Rebecca Pitt. Sensitivity Reading by Ray Stoeve. Episode 4 is released on May 27th. For transcripts and additional info about this podcast and our other productions, visit http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) - You can buy The Ballad of Anne & Mary Songbook Programme here! You can support Laurence and Lindsay by buying them a coffee! Donate a one-off or monthly gift at http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia), and get exclusive bonus and behind the scenes content. You can also buy The Ballad of Anne & Mary Songbook Programme here as well! Follow us @LongCatMedia on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and also @BalladAnneMary on Twitter. This podcast was supported by funding from Arts Council England, the UEA Enterprise Scheme, and our Ko-fi patrons. 

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Previously: On board the Revenge, the frosty-but-curious relationship between Bonny and Read comes to a head, as they clear the air with a heated sparring match. Read decides to reveal that she was born Mary, not Mark. Meanwhile, some weeks have passed, and Nathaniel Mist is on good terms with the pirates. Read, who has rallied from fever, chastises Mist for endangering himself with his seditious newspaper, Mist’s Weekly Post, which he is using to publish inflammatory letters under the name Captain Charles Johnson. Suddenly, Turnkey Scratby, furious that Anne has stabbed a ‘punter’ with one of Mist’s pencils, demands that he leave Newgate. Mist refuses, and the Turnkeys knock him unconscious. In his dream, we flashback to the Revenge, where Barnet attempts to invoke a mutiny, but is beaten in a duel by Read and forced to flee the ship. In this episode: Bob comes to Mist in a dream, and shows him the capture of the Revenge, Barnet reveals his true colours, Mist finds help in an unlikely ally, and Anne hatches a plan... Featuring Christina Bianco as Anne Bonny, Sooz Kempner as Mary Read, Karl Queensborough as Nathaniel Mist, John Henry Falle as Jonathan Barnet, Carole Stennett as Bess the Ballad Singer, Laurence Owen as Dobbin, Turnkey Peters and additional voices, Hayley Evenett as Bob and Wren, James Ducker as Turnkey Scratby, Lindsay Sharman as Gin-Soaked Jenny and additional voices, Helen Fullerton as the Landlady, and Ivan Wilkinson as Turnkey Gregory. Further additional voices by Dominic Brewer. Produced by Long Cat Media. Episode 4 is released on May 27th. For transcripts and additional info about this podcast and our other productions, visit http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) You can support Laurence and Lindsay by buying them a coffee! Donate a one-off or monthly gift at http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia), and get exclusive bonus and behind the scenes content. Follow us @LongCatMedia on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and also @BalladAnneMary on Twitter. This podcast was supported by funding from Arts Council England, the UEA Enterprise Scheme, and our Ko-fi patrons. 

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Previously: Anne’s story continues with her arrival at Nassau, and her discovery that her new husband John Bonny is a government informant. She promptly leaves him, and enlists with Captain “Calico” Jack Rackham, who, she is amazed to discover, allows women in his crew. Meanwhile, Nathaniel Mist’s deal with pirate hunter Jonathan Barnet grows murkier, as Barnet insists Mist press the pirates into revealing the whereabouts of their buried treasure. Anne then tells Mist of how they captured an English ship, aboard which the soldier “Mark” Read was a passenger. Read outs the ship’s captain as a cruel tyrant, and asks to join the crew of the Revenge, along with young cabin boy Bob. But Mist is most surprised to learn that among Rackham's crew was none other than one Jonathan Barnet... In this episode: on the Revenge, the frosty-but-curious relationship between Anne & Read comes to a head as they battle it out in a fiery sparring match, Mist begins to reap the consequences of printing seditious letters in his newspaper, and Barnet incites a mutiny on the Revenge... Featuring Christina Bianco as Anne Bonny, Sooz Kempner as Mary Read, Karl Queensborough as Nathaniel Mist, Le Gateau Chocolat as Capt Jack Rackham, John Henry Falle as Jonathan Barnet, Carole Stennett as Bess the Ballad Singer, Laurence Owen as Dobbin, Turnkey Peters and additional voices, Hayley Evenett as Bob and Wren, James Ducker as Turnkey Scratby, Dominic Brewer as Fenwick, Ivan Wilkinson as Thomas and additional voices, and Boomer as the ship's cat, Captain Crackles. Further additional voices by Lindsay Sharman. Produced by Long Cat Media. Episode 4 is released on May 20th. For transcripts and additional info about this podcast and our other productions, visit http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) You can support Laurence and Lindsay by buying them a coffee! Donate a one-off or monthly gift at http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia), and get exclusive bonus and behind the scenes content. Follow us @LongCatMedia on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, and also @BalladAnneMary on Twitter. This podcast was supported by funding from Arts Council England, the UEA Enterprise Scheme, and our Ko-fi patrons. 

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