The Basic Bitch's Guide to Life

Aly and Christina are BACK to talk about the first episode of "The Bachelorette." We talk about JoJo, run through the guys, discuss Jordan's Instagram drama and offer up our picks for our Top 4.

There is a LOT to unpack with all of the guys this season. I can't ever recall contestants getting called out on social media quite so early and in quite this way. We think there will be some SERIOUS dramz to come.

Links:

ABC's The Bachelorette cast list

Aly's excellent guide of where to find each Bachelor guy on social media

Jordan Rodger's girlfriend slams him on Instagram

🌹Riding the bench doesn't get in the way of a relationship, but cheating does. #yourpitchisntperfect @jrodgers11 #alwayswantedtobefamous #dreamscometrue #tuneinnextweekformoreBS 😝@bacheloretteabc

See this Instagram video by @brittany.farrar * 5,989 likes

Aly and Christina return to discuss the predictable ending to "The Bachelor" and the less-predictable, but still great news that JoJo is our new Bachelorette!

We love Ben's mom and still contend it's totally not OK to tell two people you love them. Repeatedly over and over again on national TV. It's not OK Ben.

Basic Bitch of the Season: JoJo Fletcher -- We still want our JoJo/Becca spin-off (can Becca make a cameo on "The Bachelorette?" PLEASE!) but we're beyond excited to see JoJo's season of "The Bachelorette." 

We'll be taking at least a week off before resuming the podcast. Thanks to all of you for listening and joining us as we do this lo-fi Bachelor podcast thing!

Aly and Christina return to talk about Ben's final two choices, the Women Tell All episode of "The Bachelor" and why it is absolutely not OK to tell two women you love them on national television.

We've missed a few weeks of the show because real life got in the way -- we're sorry -- but we're back to talk about Ben's final two picks, JoJo and Lauren B. We also have an extensive discussion about why it is NOT OK to tell two women you love them. Especially on national television.

When it comes time for the "Women Tell All" episode of The Bachelor, we share our thoughts on why we think Lace is rad, Jubilee is great -- if totally wrong for this show -- and why Olivia is still the absolute worst.

We also share our thoughts on who we think will be the ultimate winner of the show and our thoughts on The Bachelorette.

Also, Robert Mills from ABC -- we have a fantastic spin-off idea for two of your contestants. Call us.

Basic Bitch of the Week: Jubilee Sharpe -- a woman too good for this show but a total and complete badass. Jubilee, we are your fans. You are the best. We want you to find love. Just not on ABC.

Aly and Christina are back after a brief hiatus. They get into formation and discuss the drama on The Bachelor. We discuss Olivia's exit, the insanity that takes over Leah and our thoughts on the rest of the girls. 

Our new intro music was provided by BenSound.com. Beyoncé's "Formation" is used entirely without permission but you should watch the video on repeat. Aly isn't a fan but Christina doesn't care. And since she edits these show notes and posts the podcast, she's decided this is a pro-Beyoncé cast.

Links:

Aly's fantastic article comparing "The Bachleor" with the 2016 election

I love this shot way too much. #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/YAanBFaJkN

Basic Bitch of the Week: Lady Gaga for absolutely KILLING the national anthem at Super Bowl 50

Aly and Christina are back, talking about the latest episode of "The Bachelor." We discuss our theories about Olivia's craziness and twins throwing each other under the bus. 

Our new intro music was provided by BenSound.com.

Basic Bitch of the Week: Kaley Cuoco

🌹👨🏻 the pants 👨🏻🌹

"🌹👨🏻 the pants 👨🏻🌹"

Aly is in California so Christina was joined this week by the amazing Saba Hamedy - Mashable's digital entertainment reporter, who actually interviewed Ben Higgins at TCA this week.

We discuss our thoughts on week two of the Bachelor, get to the root of Lace's problems and share our picks for who will win it all.

Links:

We could be getting a more diverse "Bachelorette"

Ben tells Saba about Kevin Hart (AKA, Saba gets Bachelored)

Basic Bitch of the Week: Aly Keves, who I podcasted without, but can't live without.

Aly and Christina discuss the first episode of "The Bachelor" -- picking their faves and discussing the drama that has already ensued.

And then we spent like 15 minutes discussing Netflix's "The Making of a Murderer," "Serial" and the seminal true-crime series, "The Staircase."

This episode has spoilers so stop listening after we discuss Bach if you don't want anything ruined.

Links:

The Bachelor Bracket -- the website we're using for our bracket -- links to our picks will come next week

The Bachelor on ABC -- the official show website

New York Magazine's epic Bachelor history -- seriously, spend 25 minutes of your life reading this. It's worth it.

Serial -- if you listen to this podcast AND our podcast, you're the type of person we want to know in real life.

Making of a Murderer on Netflix

Aly and Christina break down some of the new contestants on the upcoming season of ABC's seminal series, "The Bachelor."

Look -- this is why we're here. This is why we have a show. "The Bachelor" returns on Jan. 4 and we cannot wait.

Links:

ABC's official contestant page for "The Bachelor"

US Weekly's contestant rundown page

Christina's early favorite: Becca

Aly's early favorite: Joelle "JoJo"

Basic Bitch of the Week: Fellow "Bachelor" enthusiast, Kirsten Dunst

Note: Aly's audio is bullshit. Blame Christina, who is apparently a really bad sound engineer.

Aly and Christina discuss the fate of Glenn on The Walking Dead, the non-event that was the American Music Awards, Adele's record-breaking debut (and Aly's acceptance of her awesomeness) and Christina attempts to make Aly watch Jessica Jones.

Links:

Glenn's fate on "The Walking Dead" 

The American Music Awards

Gigi snubbing Harry Styles video

Christina hates herself for liking this album

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Pentatonix

Taylor Swift's New Zealand music video shoot

Meghan Trainor and Charlie Puth's kiss made us all want to stab our eyes out

Final "Hunger Games" disappoints at box office

"Jessica Jones" on Netflix

"Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23"

The story behind the Adele Thanksgiving sketch on SNL

Adele isolated "Hello" audio from SNL performance

"The Jack and Triumph Show"

N'Sync reacts to Adele killing their record

Basic Bitch of the Week: Alanna Masterson

After a many weeks hiatus, Aly and Christina are back. We actually recorded an episode 2 weeks ago but Christina never posted it. She's sorry. 

They talk about "The Walking Dead," debate Adele and discuss Andrew McMahon and their love for him. They also get giddy over a new season of "The Bachelor" and touch on the Kardashian's.

Links:

Andrew McMahon

Bar Bacon

Aly Keves is a monster who hates Bob Ross

"Dear Jack" documentary on Netflix

"Konstantine" by Something Corporate

"Konstantine" by Something Corporate

"The Walking Dead"

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Denny Duquette on "Grey's Anatomy"

Hilarie Burton

"Gossip Girl" - Aly is a monster for not having ever seen this show

"The Bachelor" Ben Higgins trailer

Tenley Molzahn

Adele's 25 on iTunes

Jon Caramanica's New York Times review of 25 is excellent

"Keeping Up With the Kardashian's" keeps it real and Kendall and Kylie actually act like sisters

Basic Bitch of the Week: Tenley Molzahn