The Beak » Breakfast with the Beak

We horn in on the History Channel’s turf by talking about stuff that’s probably not true, but totally involves Nazis and aliens. Were the mysterious lights that followed World War II fighter pilots just boring old natural phenomena, or were they something more sinister? Can you prove they weren’t? Maybe they’re flying saucers launched from […]

Another movie? Well, you folks asked (unintentionally), and who are we to refuse you? We’re looking at the little parody trailer that grew up to be a real live exploitation flick, and celebrating the best and worst of 1980s film tropes. Cartoonish villains, cartoonish punks, and a disturbingly real protagonist (speaking cartoonish dialogue) come together […]

Should you buy a car or lease one? We don’t know. We take the subway. Should you mow your neighbor’s lawn for some extra money? Possibly. We aren’t sure. Do we know how mortgages actually work? Kind of. We’ve read articles. Should you buy a sweet van with a wizard painted on it? Emphatically yes. […]

Well, we lost control of this one quickly. What began as a discussion of the best way of getting ketchup out of the bottle quickly spiraled into utter madness. Chinese history is mangled, Bill Cosby is ignored, and the world’s best condiment-based screenplay is outlined in an episode that borders on physically exhausting. There are […]

It’s our Second Anniversary Spectacular, and we’ve just watched The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure – arguably the most insane film ever made, and definitely the biggest box-office bomb. We’ve got an extra-super-sized episode focused obsessively on the minutia of this cinematic masterpiece, from frisky appliances to wobbly cowboys to weirdly offensive llamas. What […]

It’s another celebrity guest show, minus the guest. But even though we don’t have Inigo Montoya himself in the kitchen, that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about him. And we do, to a point. We also talk about Russian punk rock, Andre the Giant, Hollywood comebacks, and a cereal so delicious that to taste it […]

Google wants your eyes! Specifically, it wants to put a tiny screen in front of your eyes and then use it to tell you what street you’re on or something. Honestly, it doesn’t sound that great. Will this technology replace the Bluetooth as the mark of douchebaggery? Will it enslave us, like Riker in that […]

Whither Canada indeed! In 1969, the good people at Monty Python’s Flying Circus asked that question, and then proceeded to blow everyone’s minds. We look at that first episode, but mostly we get distracted and talk about the finer points of sketch comedy, and how to prevent your show from sucking. Tune in to learn […]

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, if you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain, if you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape, then listen to this episode. And even if you don’t like any of that stuff, there’s still something here for […]

Honestly, we’re not really sure what that title means. As a matter of fact, we’re so confused by it that we spend this episode flailing around for an answer. We end up accepting hypothetical bribes, humanizing historical villains, debating the origins of magic undergarments, and making a surprising number of references to a movie you […]