The Better Behavior Show with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

The Better Behavior Show with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

By Dr. Nicole Beurkens

Improve your child's attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior with simple strategies you can use right now.... more
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Best of The Better Behavior Show with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

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  1. Number 1: Episode 180 Q&A: Why Do My Kids Behave at School but Meltdown at Home?

    This weeks question is from Tiffany, "I'm really struggling with managing my two kids in the after-school time period. My nine-year-old has autism and his teachers tell me he does fine in school, but the minute he gets home, it's just one problem after another, it's like he's a different kid. My daughter is six, and also seems to get really worked up after she gets home from school. Maybe it's because of her brother. I'm not sure. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job managing them during this time. It's creating a lot of stress for all of us. I just try to get through to the point where we can have dinner and they can go to bed. I don't get why they can have a good day at school and then come home and it's like this. Please help." In this episode, I will address a phenomenon called school-restraint collapse and the many things you can do about it. After school time can be tricky for everyone, I hear from parents all the time that kids have a great day at school, but the moment they get home, or in the car, it starts the cascade of endless meltdowns and fights. Why do they turn into a hot mess? We talk about how to work through this and more importantly, how to prevent it. You can submit a question by emailing us at [email protected] with the subject line "Podcast Question."

    28min
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  2. Number 2: Episode 182 Q&A: What Are The Pros And Cons to Consider When Buying Your Child Their First Smartphone?

    This weeks question is from Priscilla, "I have two daughters, ages 9 and 12, and both are begging to get an iPhone for Christmas this year. My husband and I have somewhat different opinions on this. I'm less comfortable with it than he is. I know there are lots of concerns with kids having their own phones, and honestly, it just feels like one more major thing that's going to be left for me to manage. I'm wondering your opinion on smartphones for kids and when is the right age to get them." In this episode, I will address age-appropriate smartphones. At some point, all parents will have to deal with deciding when it is appropriate to buy a smartphone for their child. Although there are no hard and fast rules for when it is appropriate, there are many things to consider. Let's discuss the pros and cons of smartphones, criteria, and questions to help you decide when your child may be developmentally ready to handle the responsibilities of a phone, and once that is decided, how to set expectations, boundaries, and monitoring of the devices. You can submit a question by emailing us at [email protected] with the subject line "Podcast Question." Episode Timestamps: Episode Intro … 00:00:30 Listener's Question … 00:00:48 Benefits of Smartphones for Kids … 00:02:27 Negative Sides of Smartphones for Kids … 00:04:25 Age Appropriate Time for a Smartphone … 00:08:05 Checklist for Assessing Readiness of Your Child … 00:09:55 Developing Guidelines for Smartphone Usage … 00:19:50 Nighttime Rules for Phone Usage … 00:20:07 Being Open with Monitoring Apps and Expectations … 00:22:38 Better Behavior in a Digital World Workshop & Episode Wrap up… 00:24:57 Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens: Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

    28min
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  3. Number 3: Episode 187: How To Help A Child Manage Stress Before It Negatively Impacts Development, Mood, And Behavior

    My guest this week is Josh MacNeill. In this episode, Josh and I discuss teaching children how to manage stress and the ways in which stress affects brain development in children. There is a stronger need now, more than ever, for adults to understand how stress impacts a child's brain. Stress affects a child's ability to function in all areas of their life—developmentally, academically, socially, and behaviorally. So we are going to first discuss stress tolerance, how stress can vary, the capacity for stress, what stress looks like through the lens of a child, and then wrap up by exploring ways in which we can help children become more resilient when encountering stress both in school and at home. Josh MacNeill began his career as a high school English teacher in an alternative school just outside of Philadelphia. While he was teaching, his organization began to take steps towards becoming a more trauma-informed school and Josh was an early adopter. He saw a lot of success utilizing brain-based and trauma-informed strategies in his own classroom, and quickly found himself with opportunities to train other teachers on the approaches he was using. In 2015, Josh shifted out of the classroom and became the director of Neurologic by Lakeside, a program focused on transforming schools to become more trauma-informed and neurodevelopmentally supportive environments for all learners. (Love that.) Since then, Josh and his team have had the privilege of working with tens of thousands of individuals across the world. Additionally, Josh is an adjunct professor in Eastern University's MD program and published the book 101 Brain Breaks and Brain-Based Educational Activities. Josh, thanks so much for being here. It's great to have you with us today. Episode Takeaways What is Stress & How it Impacts the Brain … 00:07:10 "Stress" is in the Eye of the Beholder ... 00:12:25 What is the Root of the Stressors? … 00:17:38 Building Stress Tolerance & Tips … 00:18:30 Finding Individual Stress Sweet-Spots … 27:22 Empathy for Variance in Stress Capacity … 00:31:00 Adults Being Transparent & Vulnerable … 00:36:40 Neuroplasticity: Ability for the Brain to Change … 00:40:18 Recognizing Individual Approaches to Stress … 00:44:58 Professional and Parental Stress Resources … 51:05 Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens: Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

    55min
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  4. Number 4: Episode 186: What To Do When Your Child Is Struggling To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning

    This week's question is from Adrienne, "My 10-year-old son is virtually impossible to wake up and get going in the mornings. He is struggling to get out of bed and can't seem to wake up easily no matter what we do. This turns into a big argument, struggle, and stress for me and my husband every day. My husband tries to threaten and punish, which I don't think is helpful, and then he and I get into an argument about it. I just want my son to do what he needs to do with getting up and going without all of the morning drama. I'm not sure if there's something physically wrong or another issue we need to look at, but I'm worried about what's going to happen to him in the future if he doesn't learn to wake up on his own." In this episode, I will address how to get your groggy or resistant child going in the morning. Trying to get everyone out the door in the morning can be stressful, especially when you have a child that struggles to get up. It can cause a lot of problems not just for the child but also between parents and siblings. Sure, some people are just biological early birds but for others not so much. There could also be some other things going on that are interrupting sleep which would make it difficult for your child to wake up early. I'll give you some tips on what to investigate to see if perhaps it's a sleep issue. If you have a child who is groggy, resistant, or slow to start in the mornings, this is the episode to listen to for tips to get "up and at'em" without the struggle or drama! (Hint: these tips aren't just for sleepy kids either!) Episode Timestamps Sleep Cycles & Morning Grogginess … 00:01:33 Parenting Approaches Between Parents … 00:04:14 Is Sleep Quality a Potential Root Cause? … 00:06:30 Evaluating Bedtime & Sleep Hygiene … 00:08:50 Nutrition, Supplements, Medication & Sleep … 00:10:12 Talk with Your Child About Their Observations … 00:14:25 Strategies for Difficult Mornings … 00:17:42 Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

    28min
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  5. Number 5: Episode 183: How To Raise A Parent - We Can All Learn How To Be More Conscious And Self-Aware

    My guest this week is Ellen Gottlieb In this episode, Ellen and I discuss what it means to be a conscious parent and self-aware person. This is an episode for everyone, not just those with atypical neurodevelopmental children. We talk about bringing a level of awareness to our relationships with our kids, to the approaches that we take with them that allow us to have a deeper, respectful, connected relationship so they can grow into the people they are meant to be in this world. You will find that this actually involves us as adults doing a lot more work on ourselves: with our ego, reactivity, unconditional love, reflection, and presence than it is with our kids. Our children will be okay if we are okay. Ellen Gottlieb is an attorney and certified Conscious Parenting Coach. She coaches parents and individuals, teaching them how to live a more mindful, joyful life. Ellen recently published her new book called "How to Raise a Parent: Becoming A Conscious Parent In An Unconscious World." She has been successfully guiding parents as she teaches them to shed their entrenched patterns and create deeper connections with their children, which fosters self-confidence and reduces anxiety. Episode Timestamps: Episode Intro … 00:00:30 Ellen Gottlieb from Attorney to Parenting Coach … 00:03:04 Conscious Humans & Mountain Awareness … 00:07:49 What Does it Mean to Be a Conscious Parent … 00:10:12 Separating Our Stories and Accepting What Life Actually Brings … 00:14:15 Hurt, Punishment, Fear and Control in Parenting … 00:17:55 Raising Ourselves as Parents … 00:22:43 Direct and Intergenerational Trauma … 00:25:48 Fearing a Child Won't Outgrow Behavioral Challenges … 00:29:19 Where to Start with a Conscious Toolbox … 00:32:02 Recognizing Fear, Honoring Special Time and Presence … 00:37:32 Becoming A Conscious Parent In An Unconscious World … 00:43:55 Episode Wrap up … 00:45:24 Follow Dr. Nicole: Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

    48min
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