The Bitterest Pill

On this edition of THE BITTEREST PILL, we catch up on a bit of internet news and discuss how horrible it is that Apple put U2’s new album on everyone’s phone without asking first (they didn’t, actually) and how Mark Zuckerberg wants all drag queens to change their profiles on Facebook so they use their “given” names and not their stage names (he did, actually).  Don’t worry, it’s for your protection.

I tell the story of working with a Muppet, by way of talking about when I first worked with the Muppets (from a great distance) back in the late ’80’s.  Video to follow, someday.

And I talk about going to Hudson’s school in hopes of seeing a couple of movie stars, but only ended up seeing a guy I didn’t recognize.  At first…

I was very hot telling this story about being very hot, and then seeing a woman who was very hot…

Listen, I agree, it’s been WAY too long since the last new Pill.  I won’t let it happen again.

Since we last spoke, so much/nothing at all has happened, so I thought I’d just tell you what happened last Friday.  Last Friday I was in a movie.  I think it’s called 96 Souls.  I haven’t read the script but I’m working on it.  All I know is I went there and put on scubs and it was very hot.  My wife was in Barcelona and my son was being murdered by an Uber driver.  Or not. I don’t know, it’s all a blur.

And, I looked up a woman’s dress at the car wash, but it was entrapment.  And, it was not really up.  It’s hard to explain, but I try…

The woman in the photo is not the woman from the story.  The woman’s dress in the story was about 8-12 inches shorter than the dress in the photo.  Trust me.

THANKS FOR LISTENING!

(Originally podcast Sept. 2008) Yes, my wife has the honor of being amoung the 2 million or so lucky winners of the “An Employee of Countrywide Stole All Your Personal Data and Sold It on the Black Market” game!   Hey, guess what you won?  A week long trip for you and your spouse into Customer Service Hell, cancelling all of your credit cards and bank accounts and rerouting all of your autopayments and other vulverable finances!  Congratulations, Melissa!

And hell yeah I wore Sears Toughskins back in the 70’s.  Who didn’t?  You weren’t dressed for your first day of school without a nice pair of maroon Toughskins and a matching jacket.

This episode was formerly only available to Premium Pill subscribers. View the original episode show notes and comments here.

(Sept. 2008) Today is the first day that both the kids are in school for a full day.  Wow.  Of course, I thought I’d spend much of my new free time running Hudson’s snack over to him just in the nick of time…

I’m still getting my neighbor’s computer situation straightened out.  I got the impression that the internet security company didn’t want me to call, but once I did, I was on the phone for two hours.  And, I think I got nowhere…

Check out Seth Harwood’s Jack Palms Crime at sethharwood.

The continuing saga of the first 15 or so days of August.  This time we’re in Vegas, baby.  You know what they say: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, unless you Twitter, Flickr and podcast your every move.

I tell the behind the scenes tale of Coverville 500.  Well, MY behind the scenes tale. I’m sure they are several others that will go untold.

Check out the original post and all the comments here.

Thank you to Natalie Gelman, Johnathan Coulton, Chance and the Choir and Richard Cheese for their outstanding work that night keeping the audience warmed up between my encores.

And, of course, thanks to Brian Ibbott for indulging my almost 4 year fantasy of hosting Coverville.  It was an honor, sir.  Congratulations on 499 outstanding shows (I am not including the early “all Fleetwood Mac” show.  Sorry)

Jack Wakes Up and Brave Men Run are both available at Podiobooks.com

Photo by Tim Coyne

Hudson Klass, now 15 years old, returns to the studio for a long awaited talk about high school, hair, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Asians of S.H.I.E.L.D. and walking the dog.

And, yes, even though I’ve been doing this for about a decade, I seem to have messed up the recording of this conversation.  Clearly, 1) I’m used to only using one microphone at a time, and 2) the microphones I have sound terrible together.  I rescued the audio as much as we could.  Hopefully the follow-up will be better.

I’m back with a vengence! Yes, I deliver a show that is almost an hour and twenty minutes! Some people would call that two shows, but not me. I give, baby. I give.

Links: Upstate Comics, Verve (Wendy’s store), Mars 2112

From the vaults…The Tale: The kids and I went to the Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens, to have lunch and complain about the heat. Par for the course with the Klass family. Sure we saw a couple zebras, half a gorilla and the top of the lion, but all in all it was a wonderfully hot and sweaty day. The great thing is, I could have stayed home and had the kids complain for free if I’d just made them walk endlessly around the back yard. When, exactly, will I learn?

The kids are obsessed (today) with Club Penguin. Whatever…

I talk about something, and then I talk about Philip Seymour Hoffman.  No matter what I say, it’ll never do him justice.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was arguably the greatest screen actor in the history of screen acting.  Period.

We will remember him always.

Turns out I’m not a college professor, turns out I’m not in Dog Bowl and turns out I’m not shooting that movie this winter.  Happy New Year.  But, that’s okay, gives me plenty of time to do other things, like have all our trees ripped out of the ground and accost weirdos when they show up unannounced to take pictures of my house…