In Episode 6 we identify the repeated patterns of disconnection in relationships that we in the EFT world call the negative cycle. Have you ever noticed that no matter what tension comes up in life, the way you and your partner respond to each other is the same. We often refer to the negative cycle in The Blocked Podcast and this episode gives more context to what this cycle is and how it pulls partners into a dance that neither one want to be in.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In Episode 5 we discuss how our past traumas can block our connection. Whether it is a big T trauma from death, injury, or sexual assault or little t trauma that we all experience, they can shift our worldviews and create really big responses. When this happens both partners struggle to make sense of the intense emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. We look at trauma as a violation in human connection; how our bodies tell us we are not safe when we are reminded of the trauma; and we get curious about how each partner struggles when a previous trauma blocks their connection.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In our fourth episode we discuss how our relationship with our parents and in-laws can block our romantic relationships. We all bring in frameworks for our romantic relationships from how we saw that modeled for us. We navigate topics like the shift from parent/child to parent/adult child relationships, creating boundaries in our parental relationships that protect our romantic relationships, and how our different experiences can block our partner connection.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In our third episode we discuss the blocks to intimacy. Intimacy is not only sexual but actually mostly emotional connection through being seen and known by your partner (into-me-see). Vulnerability is key and foundational to intimacy, but often gets blocked by our fears. Though always risky, vulnerability sometimes feels insurmountable without a base of trust, but like a rollercoaster, on the other side of fear is reward.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode, we look at competing attachments, what they are, how they turn us away from our primary attachment figure (our significant other) and toward alternative sources of soothing.  We sometimes have good reasons for turning toward something or someone that is not our significant other, but that creates distance and pain in our relationships and we get stuck.  Although, when we can make the difficult turn back toward our significant other, we can find freedom in rightly ordered attachments.

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

Article on Competing Attachments by Anabelle Bugatti: https://ct.counseling.org/2020/08/identifying-and-addressing-competing-attachments-with-couples/#:~:text=Competing%20attachments%20constitute%20a%20counterfeit,substitute%20for%20unmet%20attachment%20needs

This introductory episode features an introduction to the hosts, Chris Wells ([email protected]) and Carolyn Wenner ([email protected]), to the focus of the podcast, and to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/