In this episode Carolyn and Chris explore common blocks to connection in parenting. This topic is too broad to condense into one episode, so there is a part 2 coming. Often, differences in our parenting style or how we saw it modeled for us can create tension or blocks to connection with our partners. Hopefully, this episode spurs you to be curious about how the important job of parenting children can create disconnection in our relationships.

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris explore relationship blocks that come up surrounding finances. Being in sync with your partner on finances is an important foundational part to any marriage or serious long-term relationship. However, it is not the dollars and cents that are the blocks but the emotions that come up surrounding them. The way each partner views finances and money influence the messages we send and receive surrounding money. How can we be curious about the meaning money carries for our partners so we can just see finances as a problem to solve and not our partner as the problem?

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris explore boundaries. Boundaries are meant to define where a person begins and ends. They are often in place to be protective of a relationship. When they are clearly set and communicated, they can be a healthy and fruitful part of all relationships. Sometimes they can show up as blocks in our relationships and seem harsh and controlling. Boundaries can also sometimes become ultimatums. How can we be curious about our partner’s boundaries and learn to be curious and shift our view of boundaries to an opportunity to connect and build a stronger relationship.

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris discuss how a rushed apology can be a block to connection. Sometimes we can rush to an apology to smooth things over or because we just feel obligated to apologize. The rushed apology can act to remove some anxiety over the offense, but it does not really help to heal the hurt. Can you be curious about how you handle apologies, are you quick to apologize, do you apologize excessively, is the purpose of your apology act more to help you or to heal the injury? Being curious about this may help build connection in your relationship.

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode Carolyn and Chris explore how perfectionism and procrastination show up as blocks in relationships. These two emotional regulation strategies can come across as overbearing or lazy, but what is actually driving them? We explore what may be going on under the surface and how being curious about that could be an opportunity to connect.

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris talk about how the emotion of anger shows up as a block in relationship. Anger, because of the negative behaviors associated with it, often gets a bad rap. Anger can be misunderstood and is often trying to communicate an unmet need, but the way it affects our partners can leave both partners hurt. If we can be curious in safe ways around anger, it may be possible to identify and respond to the unmet need causing the hurt.

Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medical attention.

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode Carolyn and Chris explore understanding emotions. Emotions for some are not very clear and end up blocking our ability to communicate what we are actually experiencing. We all experience emotions, but many people have a hard time understanding what our emotions are trying to tell us. We explore the adaptive nature of emotions, how we experience them through our bodies and the ways we make sense of them. Much of society teaches us that emotions are weak and dangerous and must be pushed down. Hopefully after this episode, emotions can be seen as our bodies trying to tell us important information and move us away from the way they block us in relationship and toward connecting through sharing and understanding.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: ⁠https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection⁠

Hold Me Tight: ⁠https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop⁠

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: ⁠https://drsuejohnson.com/⁠

Books by Sue: ⁠https://drsuejohnson.com/books/⁠

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): ⁠https://iceeft.com/

In this episode we explore how the families and models for relationships that we experienced influence how we handle emotion. How did our families handle emotion, conflict and resolution? When we look at some of these factors, our own responses to emotion and disconnection start to make more sense.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode we explore how stress can block our connections. How does daily stress make it hard to slow down and tune in? The structure of daily lives, driven by stress, keeps us from building margins to connect. When our daily lives put pressure on us to carry extra weight, we lose capacity to be present with our partners. Can we be curious about our partner’s stress and connect with each other by being able to share that extra weight we carry?

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/

In this episode we further breakdown the negative cycle and the “go-to” moves we have learned to handle difficult emotions and disconnection. These strategies either move us toward our partners or away from our partners, but for very good reasons. We try to show how the messages we hear from the time we are children through adulthood influence the way we all handle emotion in relationship.

Show Hosts:

Chris Wells: [email protected]

Carolyn Wenner: [email protected]

Workshops Hosted by Carolyn and Chris:

Created for Connection: https://www.carolynwenner.com/created-for-connection

Hold Me Tight: https://www.carolynwenner.com/hmt-workshop

EFT Resources:

Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

Books by Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): https://iceeft.com/