By businessoflove
5
123123 ratings
The podcast currently has 45 episodes available.
Covid-19 and Your Relationship
In business, it’s totally acceptable, and recommended to see business consultant.
I work as a consultant in the business world… sales, leadership, peak performance, mindset, game planning… I get hired to go into companies and share my expertise. (Based on 35 years of working and consulting with companies around the globe)
Business Consulting is an accepted practice - Normal - Expected - Progressive
Example: You’re a president, CEO or even VP of sales… and you want to improve the performance of your sales team, you either bring an expert in to work with your team… or you do it yourself. If you could do it yourself, you probably would’ve done it already. So you bring in the expert.
Imagine your sales team struggling, yet you as the leader didn’t bring in any help, you just lashed out and got mad… how do you think that would work?
Step ONE: Recognize and acknowledge that YOU or you and your partner need help. In your biz, if your sales team is struggling, you must bring in an expert and change some things. If you and your partner are struggling, you must acknowledge that and be proactive.
Dan’s perspective: Often times - an association or stigma attached to counseling or therapy. (Yes in my life). Sign of weakness. No one in my family ever saw counseling as far as I know… and we had a plethora of divorces.
Message to MEN: get over it. Get rid of your ego and look at yourself as a free thinker, and innovator… someone who is going to change the game. Change the result.
Step TWO: It’s OK. - No one is perfect, and we are complex individuals… with different backgrounds and beliefs… and we often times need help. We have negotiators, advisors and boards of directors to guide us in business, we must have the same mentality in our relationships.
Step THREE: Find an expert that feels good to both of you. This is a negotiation or a discovery:
Step FOUR: Do the work
Summary: if you need help, get an expert, lower your ego and do the work.
Episode 43: The LEAD Measure... How to Get MORE of what you want.
In business, experts talk about working on the lead measure to increase sales. For instance, a life insurance company often times sets it’s accountability or measurement piece on what’s called the LEAD measure, not the result. For instance, to determine if the life insurance rep will his or her quota, they often times measure the “meetings” or "appointments" with the “qualified family” vs measuring the actual sales themselves.
The meeting with the “couple” LEADS to the purchase of the insurance policy… so the LEAD measure for an insurance sales manager is how many appointments do my reps have vs how many policies they’ve sold.
Looking at the sales is like driving in the car and looking in the rear view mirror. They've already happened. Measuring “appointments” will give you an indication of the reps success.
Ideas of LEAD Measures in your Relationship
Episode #43: Married and Lonely
Jennifer reads post: (Being lonely within marriage with hopes of being seen and heard)
Examples: Two Examples of friends
Three Elements of a Successful Relationship
Consistency is usually taken care of with the context of marriage or relationship so it is always the vulnerability or positivity that will be lacking. There are two times you can fix this - In the beginning of your relationship AND after you’ve been in it for any number of years…
Below are questions to ask yourself about your relationship… if you answer yes to any of these, then both elements could be lacking. And don’t worry, we’ll give you a guide on how to fix them.
Let’s start with early on in the relationship:
Pre-marriage or early marriage questions to uncover red-flags:
Internal questions:
Early Relationship Solution: If you’re early in your relationship, meaning still dating, you’ll need to really look at this and ponder if this is something you need to feel more comfortable doing, meaning, are you innately afraid of being vulnerable? Is this something you need to work on to deepen your relationships? Or, if you are able to do this in previous relationships and you don’t have it with your current partner, is truly the person for you?
Long - Term Relationship Solution:
(Softeners Section)
Take your partner on a date… or something interactive… LIKE A TEAM BUILDING! Companies use this to break down walls and barriers!
(Sidestepping or overcoming FEAR)
Making relationships EASY… or as Easy as possible.
People get caught up in “moments” when ppl act a certain way: Maybe they are dismissive, or distant...non-responsive.
Often times we IMMEDIATELY think… it’s US or “They are such a jerk.”
Two of the FOUR AGREEMENTS: (Don Miguel Ruiz)
Don’t Take Anything Personally - Easier said than done.
Action Steps:
New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST
Episode #25: Investing in Your Success
We Talk about business. When businesses are stagnant, they are neither growing or declining…
In relationships, if we are not engaged, talking, connecting, we are becoming stagnant, and like a business… will not grow. In relationships… staying in a state of stagnation, will lead to disengagement and disinterest.
Companies that are moving forward are always innovating… moving forward. The same thing in a marriage.
Action Steps:
New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST
Episode #39 How to Ask for What You Want
Again - different individuals with different upbringings and different models of the world.
Some ppl don’t know how to ask for what they want… and it causes challenges… b/c they complain or place blame rather than simply asking.
Almost a covert, passive aggressive manner… and often times don’t even know it.
Examples:
My Mom:
I’m so tired of this hospital food all-day everyday….
My sister, who has turned her life upside down attempting to make my mom comfortable and safe… she feels inadequate… or has the need to make her happy.
...and so my sister is dancing around attempting to find a solution by saying, would you like to go out to eat today…
2. The person NOT asking for what they want is always disappointed because the OTHERS don’t know know how to read their mind.
Example: My previous marriage:
Action Steps:
New Podcast Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST
Episode #37: Relationship Myths Continued #2
Erica McCurdy, a certified master coach informed me, "Closure is overused and rarely gives either side the answers and mental rest that the client imagines it will. We often want closure when we have failed to address a situation at the time it took place. Because we have allowed time to pass, we have stewed, anguished, agonized over unimportant issues until they have grown into something much bigger than they ever needed to be."
Her advice? "Drop closure off at the curb, it's not your friend. Pick a new place to hang out and move on."
Jennifer:
In business… if I am the the VP of sales and I’m having an issue with one of my sales reps…
In a relationship… the emotions are wound up a bit tighter… and we typically feel like we want “closure”... It’s OFTEN TIMES because “they” don’t get what they need… and keep going.
The pressure of social norms. We have get married. “Daniel and Hayley…”
There is no norm… anymore.
In business, many ppl are now breaking out of what was the norm…. getting a job, etc. In the past… social norm was to get an education and get a good job and retire. Now, the script has been flipped….
If being an entrepreneur makes you happy, working 9-5pm will kill you.
Maybe just being in a healthy, loving relationship is perfect… without the paper.
Licensed mental health counselor Daryl Cioffi told me, "I often find that my couples have warped senses of healthy behaviors in their relationships. Some of the worst advice comes from friends and family members because they themselves have unhealthy relationship patterns."
Summary:
Cultivate Health Intuition and Relationship habits.
Dr. Barbara Winter notes that, "Bad advice from an expert is telling someone exactly what to do: get a divorce, break up, end the relationship, albeit romantic, familial, business, etc." This kind of pointed, instructive guidance, then, should not be heeded from experts, no matter how well-meaning or logical it may sound. Rather, the expert's job is to guide their patient into making healthy, heartfelt decisions on their own.
Dr. Winter continued, "It's not bad advice when we recommend how to best engage, speak, or treat a partner to make a relationship healthier." So learn how to be an active listener who can make the most out of what you're told from professionals. Interrogate a situation and use the wisdom you have to make the best decisions. And listen to your heart.
New Episode Drops Every Sunday at 8am PST
Episode #37: How to Keep the Relationship HOT
The Relationship Accelerator
YOU married your partner or in a relationship with our partner for specific reasons:
What are they? Hot? Loving? Caring? Sexy? Great Father? Responsible?
Action Steps:
New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST
Episode #36: Carpe Diem
The Show Black Mirror show Recap…
Potential situations of the show:
In the episode… the date went so well, they didn’t want to look
Using Similar Psychology…
So here we are today… no matter where you are… you’re there… You can start fresh.
Dan’s disease - Changed my behavior.
People think there’s always time.
In Business, if you own a biz… there may be a great 5 or 10 year run in your specific industry… YOU NEED to MAX that out. Or maybe you have an amazing sales manager… and he/she may take their talents elsewhere if they don’t feel fulfilled both financially and psychologically. So you wouldn’t take things for granted with a valuable employee, you want to do what’s necessary to keep him/her producing at a high level.
Action Steps:
2. Ask Quality Questions:
3. Repeat and Create a Success Habit
New Episode Drops Every Sunday Morning at 8am PST
The podcast currently has 45 episodes available.