The Captain's Log

Episode 194. If you could eat a planet, which one would you eat? We imagine the solar system as dishes in a multi-course meal, including Pluto as the tiny after-dinner mint. We also break down the phrase "slice of life" to ask if it's the same genre if you start calling it "dollop of life" instead. We talk bug-eyed enigmas, confusing brand loyalty t-shirts, a Spider-Man dance party, and getting more fun comment engagement on our YouTube channel.

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Episode 193. Kyle demands answers about why Knives Out 2 will be called Glass Onion. Melissa loves the theater and will accept a musical number in any film. We imagine possible lineups for the Thunderbolts and what Marvel could be planning with a Wonder Man show, and discuss the titles previewed during Netflix's "Geeked Week," including Sandman, The Gray Man, and 1899. We continue to add to the soundboard, and yes, there's more than one Austin Powers quote.

Episode 192. Welcome to the #1 podcast about thirsting for the taste of legend. We recap our thoughts on Obi-Wan and Ms. Marvel, Melissa begins the long journey to catch up on Stranger Things, and Kyle compares Clerks and Letterkenny. We investigate the top ten most expensive TV pilots ever made, fictional characters who will still be relevant sixty years from now, and exclusive new Mountain Dew flavors.

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Episode 191. Kyle drinks the final hard Mountain Dew and ranks all the flavors. Melissa saw Top Gun: Maverick in IMAX and is now a thrillseeker, but only for other theatrical experiences. We discuss crying at the Bob's Burgers movie, the continual flop of Morbius, and Jeff Lemire helming a TV adaptation of his comic Essex County. Inspired by Maverick and Obi-Wan Kenobi, we imagine other titles for sequels and spinoffs that aren't just the names of the protagonists, and titles that aren't people's names but should be.

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Episode 190. We open a can of hard Baja Blast, the thinking man's Mountain Dew, and it inspires us to ask the big questions. Do sharks make any sounds? What if beans were the size of potatoes, and potatoes the size of beans? Could we ever get into a Hollywood movie premiere? What would happen in a Winnie the Pooh horror movie? What stories demand to be retold in Muppet form? How much Patreon money would we need to build puppet versions of ourselves and record an all-puppet episode?

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Episode 189. Kyle drinks the Black Cherry hard Mountain Dew and we discuss other fruits that should have adjective modifiers to make them more exciting. We look at some highlights of the Eisner Award nominations for comic book excellence, and all the new Star Wars news! Melissa explains the mysterious Detours cartoon again. Kyle describes his Cyberpunk 2099 character. We talk about fancy parties with too many forks for specific seafood before Melissa's internet dives into the sea, to be closer to the shrimp.

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Episode 188. Welcome to the soundboard era of The Captain's Log! Kyle tries the new hard Mountain Dew and pledges to drink a new flavor every week until the four-pack is gone. Melissa ponders Movie: The Hot Dog, a wiener that represents all of cinema. We re-ignite our segment Yankee Goes to Hollywood to describe the scents of Multiverse of Madness. We also discuss mustard heists, adding exclamation points to movie titles, and the bittersweet feeling of knowing your favorite show or movie franchise has wrapped production.

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Episode 187. To celebrate May the Fourth, we use a Star Wars name generator to help build a movie about two brothers sneaking into an electronics convention to crash the keynote speech and turn it into a concert. It's got everything you've ever wanted from a Star War: pop punk, free chocolate bars, a Twi'lek businesswoman in a sensible pantsuit! We also discuss the re-ordering of upcoming MCU movies and what the Fantastic Four could look like under a new director. Kyle eulogizes the cancelled DC show Legends of Tomorrow. Melissa attempts the Doctor Strange Fitness Challenge.

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Episode186. Kyle returns to Chilis. Melissa knows the names of many movie sequels. We talk about the mysterious upcoming Star Wars show The Acolyte and ask if the name Paul belongs in this universe. We also wonder, if you were blindfolded and led into an IHOP, would that be worth the surprise? Ignacio joins us for a game of "X-Files or Bullshit?" where Melissa presents real and imagined episodes of her favorite show. Did Mulder and Scully ever get lost in a corn maze? Did they kill a pizza boy because they thought he was a vampire?

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Episode 185. Melissa lets fancy take flight for a live podcast show. Kyle must throw a baseball in a river before he can become a man. For our usual roundup of Marvel news, we discuss the teaser for Thor: Love & Thunder, the latest episode of Moon Knight, and the delays to Across the Spider-Verse. We spend too much time on the phrase "champing at the bit" before we begin chomping on some space food! We eat the finest in Astronaut Brand freeze-dried fruits and ice cream sandwiches for a cosmic sundae experience.

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