The Captain's Log

Episode 135. We talk about the true identity of NoobMaster69, hidden side mysteries in popular entertainment, and how we wish more characters would turn dramatically to the camera and stare right at us and say the name of the movie they're in. We think about reading more books and instead just read the Mountain Dew fan wiki. Get ready to fall down a Google hole of weird soda flavors, sequels to those weird soda flavors, discontinued potato chips, and rare DQ Blizzards that don't even get to be seasonal, they happened for one month in 2005.

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Episode 134. We look back on a whole heck of a year in quarantine and think about our accomplishments and newfound skills. We also ask what is the best donut to eat, and what is the best bread to be. Kyle walks us through some tech troubles and exciting new sign, and Melissa tries to explain the aesthetic youths on Pinterest and their ironic(?) throwback 90s styles.

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Episode 133. Kyle talks about his new videography gig and a watermelon that looks yellow but still tastes red. Melissa tries to plan a custom dinner party for each Marvel movie and finally understands the short-lived McDonald's specialty burger the McDLT. We also look back on Good Burger. Lots of burger talk this week. We discuss rewatching the Fast & Furious and DCEU movies to prep for Fast 9 and the Synder cut, and ask what childhood entertainment properties should get a more serious retelling.

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Episode 132. Kyle introduces us to Count Dante, the Deadliest Man Alive. Melissa remembers the first time she saw a laser pointer and reconnects with a song heard long ago. We finally know the subtitle for Spider-Man 3, No Way Home! There's also news of Paddington 3. He should have a way home -- we can only hope. We discuss the trailer for Pixar's new movie Luca, the new USPS trucks that look like concept art for an animated movie, and Pokemon we think are cool.

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Episode 131. Ignacio Rojas from Crossplay joins us this week to imagine our own signature combos at chain restaurants and talk about what part of South America is shaped like a butt. We also discuss snow days, the Mortal Kombat trailer, Marvel Studios acquiring some of its comic characters back, inspiring astronaut stories, and how literally and metaphorically hot Mars is.

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Episode 130. Amazon Fresh is trying to sell Kyle an ungodly amount of applesauce and Melissa is stuck in the limbo of owning two couches. We discuss the new trailers for The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and the bonkers M. Night Shyamalan movie Old. Imagine… what if old? We also ask ourselves if we're getting too excited at the potential of a live-action Spiderverse that may never be. We share fun behind-the-scenes tidbits from creators of some of our favorite Review Show shows, and make a plan to order many Kit-Kats.

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Episode 129. We're talking about The Little Things and the big things, you know, just objects that are large. Kyle brings some dinosaur news and Melissa wants to make sure we remember the good qualities of the Amazing Spider-Man movies. We imagine mystery and crime stories starring our hometowns and discuss the power of ketchup. Get out there and see some trees!

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Episode 128. Melissa has now put on The Crown and Kyle is still in business with The Sopranos. Kyle explains the comics platform DC Universe Infinite and the GameStop stocks fiasco, and Melissa talks about aggressive fashion choices and running victoriously through a paper screen once she can return to her office. We ask if the Teen Titans tower was ever an architecturally sound idea, and describe the Wandavision-style sitcom hellscapes we could live in. We also devote another spoiler section at the end of the episode to speculate on the latest episode of Wandavision, and we'll pick up this discussion again once the series is over!

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Episode 127. This week Jams Wilkinson joins us to talk about the Wilkinson siblings’ cartoon-centric podcast Saturday Morning Obscurities! We also discuss speed-running your makeup routine, the eternal scourge that is glitter, and our favorite mysteries, including Rasputin, John Titor, and The Max Headroom Incident. Then we dedicate some spoiler-warning time to dive into speculation on the first three episodes of Wandavision.

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Episode 126. Alan from Crossplay joins us to talk about our goals for 2021 and to design theme restaurants, including a cyber 50s cafe, a Dave & Busters where you have to win tickets to earn your food, and Creepypasta: The Restaurant. We also talk about giant spiders, dying in your dreams, and how your brain could block out the image of a beloved breakfast pastry. Plus, MCU Phase 4 is finally here and we give some spoiler-free thoughts on Wandavision!

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