The Captain's Log

Episode 86. Kyle tells a DMV horror story and Melissa remembers being 10 years old and accidentally buying a movie with boobs in it at a Sam Goody. No Time To Die has been pushed back to November for concerns of coronavirus spreading in crowded theaters worldwide. Thank goodness the Artemis Fowl movie hasn't been delayed again! A new trailer is out and we finally get a good look at the updated storyline and aesthetics of the movie compared to the book.

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 85. Did your family ever meet with a traveling meat salesman? Kyle has been investigating a Squarespace mystery and a MeUndies shortage. We discuss what it would be like to be the heir to the fortune of a weirdly specific family business and how the future of Disney may be affected by the recent CEO change from Bob Iger to Bob Chapek, especially how the parks may develop!

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 84. We discuss art shows, excessively-themed stores, and weird giant sculptures and animatronics. We each try to name our personal seven modern wonders of the world! How can we reinvent the distinctive physical experience of going to a Blockbuster? Is Moviefone still a thing?

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 83. Melissa takes advantage of her pizza lineage and Kyle tells us how to hack a scantron test. We discuss Billie Eilish's theme to No Time to Die and Batman's new outfit, and Kyle tries to start a bold trend in awards show fashion. We also list the worst dates we've ever been on, and the worst date that Melissa has heard of.

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 82. We're starting a new tradition on the Captain's Log! We looked at 22 major movies coming out this year, from Sonic the Hedgehog to The Eternals, and guessed the Rotten Tomatoes score. At the end of the year, we'll see whose scores were the closest, and we also made non-score predictions to throw into the game. Will the villain of the new James Bond movie turn out to be a revamped Dr. No? Is Natasha telling us the story of Black Widow from inside the realm of the soul stone? Which one of us will win the as-yet-undetermined prize (probably pizza)?

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 81. Much like Han, Pizza Lord is back in business. Justice for Pizza Lord! We try to understand the Fast & Furious 9 trailer and spend a lot of time guessing who Owen Wilson is going to play in the Loki series. Baldur the Brave? Adam Warlock? The voice of Loki's conscience? Himself?? We also brainstorm fun bonus episodes for reaching our Patreon goals, and figure out our new tradition of a box office movie draft for the year.

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 80. Melissa tries a new beauty gadget and explains the plot of Dolittle. Kyle has a pizza trust fund he can't spend, and he can't buy any carrots either, but at least he's legally free to dance. We discuss both Pokemon and Fast & The Furious somehow. Why did Mr. Peanut have to die?

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 79. Melissa recaps the Jeopardy championships and has become fascinated by the sure-to-flop movie Dolittle. Kyle read his shopping list, pitches an episode of Black Mirror, and updates us on his struggles as Pizza Lord. We discuss the trailer for Morbius and dream of a unified Spider-Man continuity!

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Episode 78. It's the first Captain's Log of 2020 and Kyle has ascended this plane of existence and has become Pizza Lord. Meanwhile Melissa is intrigued by the "Toss a Coin To Your Witcher" song. And Jupiter is being mean to us Earthlings.

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

It's our 4th birthday! Wow. It feels like it's been forever. Whether you have stuck around with us since the beginning, or are a new listener, thank you so much. We could not do any of this without you. Melissa and Kyle have been chugging along, Mick and Ignacio have joined the crew, and we even started a new show, Crossplay. Here's to four more years!

Click here to watch a video of this episode.