The Captain's Log

Episode 291. We ask what you should do if you find the image of Jesus, a celebrity, or a Pokemon in a food. How do you preserve it? Who authenticates it? Who would pay $70,000 for something like that? Kyle catches us up on Daredevil and is two degrees of separation away from a Narcos character. Melissa brings us a real horse performance and tries to understand high society at the opera and symphony. We discuss our Oscar predictions, the future of James Bond, a new Green Lantern, and a very specific and perhaps useless piece of exclusive news about Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning.

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Episode 290. Kyle nominates a new Luigi. Melissa completes another Wet Awards. We both insist you watch Hundreds of Beavers! We also discuss local Oklahoma City sports, regattas, what if F1 had theme nights, a corn musical, dough hooks, blindly filling out an Oscars ballot, and taking your Gundam models to a nice dinner and seating them at the table with pretend food.

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Episode 289. When podcast is on a bagel, you can have podcast anytime! We use the Super Bowl as a launching pad into a discussion on our favorite commercials, from the big game and otherwise, from the nostalgic '90s to today. Topics include: campaigns that made one commercial so good they just ran it for years, playing a board game in an abandoned factory, kids who interrupt school to do a berries 'n' cream, Jack Box's human wife, and whether you loved or hated the Quizno's spongemonkeys. We also discuss the Grammy's, the Fantastic Four trailer, an entry point to decades of Star Trek, Thai iced tea, and when people in movies have normal teeth instead of movie star teeth.

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Episode 288. Kyle's parents bought him a shirt with a dozen different tags on it. He's going to cut them off now, but let the video feed prove that it did happen. We discuss new movies in the "20th century tragedies" genre, including Nickel Boys, September 5, and The Brutalist, balanced out with the breezy comedy One of Them Days and bizarre art film The Timekeepers of Eternity. We look to the future, trying to predict our respective mid-life crises, and planning the rest of the year of Captain's Log episodes. Ideas include: baking a cake, baking a Star Wars, actors who should play Santa Claus, and maybe touching the Gateway Arch.

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Episode 287. It's a snowy start to 2025, blessing Melissa with a sighting of the rare Snow Stan. Kyle still doesn't know how to drive but now has a new car. We catch up on winter break moviegoing and read over our media stats from 2024. Kyle read dozens of detective novels, implores us all to watch Pachinko, and introduces us to Chicken Nugget, a Korean show about a girl who turns into an anonymous, silent chicken nugget and her father and boyfriend just have to deal with that. Melissa experiences the nearly four-hour epic The Brutalist, counts down her top moments in film and her playlist of favorite YouTube videos about media oddities and ill-advised craft experiments, and introduces us to Hundreds of Beavers, a movie that is easy to describe but difficult to believe.

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Kyle and Melissa are here for a chill end-of-year celebration, looking back on our year in podcasting and looking ahead to our 2025 goals. We give out our Review Show awards, play a game of "What the Hell Were We Talking About?", run through our recent cinema experiences, talk about fancy cocktails and fancy mansions, and finally share our thoughts on the weird twist in the otherwise conventional neo-noir show Sugar.

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Episode 286. We're back for a feature-length discussion on movies! We go over our predictions for the Rotten Tomatoes critics' score for the past year's movies, and create predictions for the year ahead. What movie got an even 50? What's the lowest score we've ever seen? Do we think Mission: Impossible -- The Final Reckoning could match or beat the score for Dead Reckoning? Which will score better, Superman or Fantastic Four: First Steps? How many people will die in The Monkey? How many Mickeys will Mickey 17 ultimately show us? Also: an underwhelming reveal to a secret Mtn Dew flavor, a haunted office, and more Torrington lore.

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Episode 285. We have a lot of existing movies to talk about, like Conclave, Anora, Heretic, and Piece by Piece, and we have an exciting pitch for a new Inspector Gadget movie that's a Substance-esque body horror but also one of his hands is a different vape on each finger. Hear us, Hollywood!!! Melissa reveals the most mysterious song on the internet. Kyle looks at all those chickens (it's just one chicken). We discuss the trailers for Brave New World and Thunderbolts*, where we want to see new Star Wars characters and where we want to see old ones, what it means when a movie is delayed from January to April, the stigma that reshoots have on a movie's reputation, Godzilla in different time periods, and the enduring legacy of Over the Garden Wall.

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Episode 284. Your ghost hosts Slimer and Mimer are here for another Halloween special re-telling old Captain's Log anecdotes as "scary" "stories." Enjoy your szechuan McFlurry as you hear tales of the last two Kyles in the world, a life wrapped in foil, being kicked by the NFL robot, the fate of The Boobie Bouncer, your life being mysteriously tied to a movie marketing stunt, German Monday, the scariest 90s cartoon character to encounter in a liminal void, and old internet meme becoming a dangerous reality.

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Episode 283. Kyle gets attacked by a falcon. Melissa dares to ask if vests are just adult bibs, and if you can make a paper football out of a Fruit Rollup. She eats an entire bowl of Kelce Mix cereal while Kyle recaps his old roommate's wedding in great detail. We read through our Movie Fantasy League drafts, marvel at Maymont Park, praise Liquid IV, ask if Saturday Night needed more chaos, and applaud SIXTY-YEAR-OLD MAN Keanu Reeves for becoming a race car driver.

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