The Captain's Log

Episode 233. Primal forces are at work when Melissa goes to a live production of Wicked. Kyle called Saul, and was the better for it. We look at the news coming out of CinemaCon, a convention where movie studios show off their upcoming projects to theater owners, including an R-rated Kraven The Hunter and a Beetlejuice sequel, henceforth known as Beetletwoce. We ask what if subpar movie universes combined their forces, what games we could put in a Whatnauts activity book, and how far Kyle should go to beat his new Duolingo enemy. Finally, a pocket Reactor Corps on the trailer for A Haunting in Venice!

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Episode 232. Kyle questions the ranking of a list of top Disneyland rides, and Melissa reveals the shocking source of supposed ghost videos from the Disney parks. We share our excitement over the teaser for the upcoming Venture Bros movie, mysteriously titled Radiant is the Blood of Baboon Heart. We also share our thoughts on Renfield, question what makes a good Reed Richards, and workshop how we can ask "Fast & Furious, but cats?" and make a whole segment out of it.

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Episode 231. We're discussing the news out of Star Wars celebration, including the Ashoka trailer, movie announcements, and puzzling hints about The Acolyte. This somehow leads us to a cyperpunk name generator quiz and determining if a fox is more like a dog or a cat. We also have casting news for DC's Creature Commandos, a teaser for the John Wick spinoff series The Continental, and recaps of our weekend at the movies seeing The Super Mario Bros., Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, and Air: Courting a Legend.

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Episode 230. Kyle finds another false Luigi. Melissa introduces us to Smoke Woman. We both watched the pixel chaos that is Tetris. Our big topic this week: tasting different flavors of the Japanese sweet snack Pocky, and its savory cousin Pretz! We learn about larb, get startled by corn, be true to ourselves with baked potato, branch out with matcha, celebrate the harvest with apple, crush hard on almond, and imagine two brothers named Yogurt and Yoghurt, and their grandfather, Peepsi.

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Episode 229. Kyle laments the missed opportunity of Mecha March and the lie that is Luigi's Pizza. Melissa introduces us to lost movies Big Bug Man and Freaky Flickers, and the defunct as-seen-on-TV Hawaii Chair. We ask if liquid trees missed the point of real trees, what Betty Ross could be doing in the upcoming Captain America: New World Order, if Darkman stole from Clayface, if Clippy would make a good husband, and if you would recognize if your parents were replaced with visual effects.

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Episode 228. Melissa explains the Willem Defoe crime/survival thriller Inside and why it's so helpful for the audience to see him poop in a bathtub. Kyle reveals his secret infinite beach. We remember the late actor Lance Reddick, a gem in everything from Lost to John Wick. We also discuss the upcoming Power Rangers reunion movie Once & Always, the old lemon scent of Shazam: Fury of the Gods, bringing an entire baguette into the cinema to eat slowly over two hours, and how more movies need things for the audience to yell at the screen like in The Room or Rocky Horror.

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Episode 227. Melissa attempts to quantify a very specific film sub-genre, the California Drive-Around, and its cousin the New York Walk-Around. Kyle is shocked when a modern-day French crime drama suddenly flashes back to Ancient Rome. We recap the Oscars, look at some superhero movies news, and discuss crows that can solve murders BECAUSE THEY ARE A MURDER, THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A GROUP OF CROWS, and convincing somebody that a pog is a collectable state quarter.

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Episode 226. Kyle is haunted by an extremely loud home appliance. Melissa eats a new kind of Reese's Cup live on air. We imagine new categories for the Oscars, such as Best Title Sequence, Best Adapted Performance, Best Animal, and Best Kiss (MTV Movie Awards have had a monopoly on this for too long!!!). Melissa ranks all the 2023 best picture nominees on a scale from Wet to Dry. Kyle tries learning Korean through Duolingo. We argue whether "Plane" is the best or worst movie title.

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Episode 225. Did you know that TV detective Perry Mason is based on a real person? He isn't! But doesn't that seem plausible? You could convince somebody of that, right? We also discuss the incredibly detailed Lost Encyclopedia and other informational treasures from DK Publishing, rewatching Yellowjackets, rowdy popcorn boys, and movies we saw in the theaters with our friends when we were teenagers just because there wasn't anything better playing. We also try to describe Cocaine Bear as a scented candle but we don't know what cocaine actually smells like and we're too scared to google it.

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Episode 224. This week: MONSTER TRUCKS! We read the name of every MONSTER TRUCK competing in MONSTER JAM. We also describe Quantumania as if it was a scented candle and discuss educating ourselves in film history, theming our meals to movies, our dream team of the creators of Dark adapting Something is Killing the Children, and Ton E. Cheese's Pizza and Avenging Parlour.

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