The Care It Out Sleep Show

Is your baby about to reach the four-month mark?

Or perhaps you’re already in the middle of the four-month progression?

If that’s a yes then this podcast is for YOU!

There’s often a lot of fear around the four-month regression.

Plus a fair bit of sleep scaremongering is being bandied about.

And I’m going to be honest, sleep at this stage can get a little (or A LOT) trickier and erratic.

That’s because your baby’s sleep is developing and it’s a huge time of change for them. And if you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I often say ‘change is strange!’

But you really don’t need to:

Sleep train

Leave your baby to cry

Push them to fall asleep solo or stich their sleep cycles together.

To get through the four month progression.

I know it doesn’t always feel like it but this phase is temporary and IS likely to settle all by itself in time.

IF something does need a change or reset, chances are these changes will be easier once your baby is 5/5.5 months old.

And in the meantime, there’s lots of reassurance, advice and practical sleep suggestions waiting for you in this podcast episode!

Join me and 6 other parents for this panel podcast and together we’ll talk you through:

🌟 Sleep at the four month mark

🎙Why sleep changes at this stage

🌟 Their experience of this stage

🎙Four month food FOMO

🌟 Why the transfer can get super tricky

🎙 Why you don’t need to sleep train to get through the four month progression 

 🌟What you can do to support their sleep at this stage

🎙 The four month fear 

And much MUCH more!

We all had a great time talking together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!

When it comes to your Small’s naps there’s a lot of myths and misconceptions out there isn’t there?!

That naps need to happen at a set time, in the same place AND in a certain way to be considered or count as a nap.

But I do like to keep sleep real around here and normalise infant sleep for you.

And like most things on the Care It Out approach the only thing naps need to do is work for you and your Small. 

Join me for this nap recap episode and I’ll you through why naps don’t need to:

be in a cot to count

 happen in the same space as night-time

 be taken independently from you

 happen in the same way every day

be a certain length to count

happen at exactly the same time

I’ll also answer the questions you asked me about naps:

What can I do when my Small refuses their only nap?

What can I do when my baby is refusing their cat nap but it’s having a huge impact on their night sleep?

What age to toddlers stop their nap?

 How can I encourage my baby to nap at nursery, in the car or in the pram 

Is it ok to use a dummy for naps but not at night?

Why is my Small taking short naps?

How will my baby nap at nursery?

What are age appropriate nap gaps at 11 months old?

Other podcast episodes I mention:

Napping at nursery: careitout.com/podcast/episode-25-napping-at-nursery

Short naps: careitout.com/podcast/ep-6

Skipped naps: careitout.com/podcast/35-short-and-skipped-naps

A sleep crisis is not only tough and tiring for everyone, it can also have a huge impact on our mental health.

Join me and Dr Fiona Jeffries in this episode and we’ll talk you through:

What is parental mental health?

The relationship between sleep and mental health

Looking after your needs whilst responding to your baby’s sleep needs

Why self-care is important and is much more than taking a solo shower or trip to the toilet?

How to cope in a sleep crisis?

We really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!

Dr Fiona Jeffries is an experienced Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years' experience of working with children and families in a variety of settings. She’s passionate about her work and feels very lucky to have a career which she enjoys so much.

Since qualifying in 2012, she’s specialised in working with children and families. Much of her work has been with families who are dealing with the challenges of medical illness or disability.

She works using a variety of therapeutic models, including systemic, narrative and compassion-focussed approaches. She tailors her approach to each individual child and family and has a special interest in infant psychology. She’s very recently established ‘Baby Psychology Basics’, antenatal and postnatal workshops for parents and professionals.

Do you want to find out about Fiona?

www.drfionajeffries.co.uk/baby-psychology-basics

www.instagram.com/baby_psychology_basics

Free workshops coming up:

Wednesday 20th October 2021 12-1.30pm Prenatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby

Wednesday 24th November 2021 12.30-2pm Postnatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby

Please see website for more information and how to book

Listener offer:

20% off a 1:1 Baby Psychology Basics session for listeners (contact Fiona directly to book and mention you listened to the podcast)

Mindfulness and relaxation resources:

https://self-compassion.org

https://buddhify.com/

https://www.calm.com/

If you need some further support:

www.home-start.org.uk

www.mind.org.uk

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk

Bed-sharing isn’t going to work for every family.

Bed-sharing isn’t for every family

And it might not be the best sleep set up for you.

This podcast isn’t about convincing or pushing you to bed-share!

But there’s often a lot of sleep shame and stigma around bed-sharing so this podcast is for you if you’re:

 currently bed-sharing and would love some reassurance

 considering bed-sharing and would love some reassurance

 looking for safer sleep pointers whilst bed-sharing

 Join me and Tiffany Belanger in this episode and we’ll talk you through:

 -What is bed-sharing?

 -Who is bed-sharing for?

 -Why bed-sharing isn’t a bad bed habit

 -What are the benefits of bed-sharing for both babies and parents?

 -How can you make bed-sharing safer?

 -Tiffany’s personal experience of bed-sharing

 I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!

Tiffany Belanger spends her days wrangling two little boys, works on the Cosleepy blog for a few hours in the evening, and at night. And she sleeps soundly on a giant bed between her favourite people in the world!

Tiffany created Cosleepy to offer modern parents practical, scientifically-backed advice on how to safely co-sleep with their baby. It’s a hub for like-minded folks to find each other and a safe space for them to dive deep into the beauty, challenges, and intricacies of co-sleeping.

Tiffany works to empower every parent to trust the science and follow their intuition when it comes to keeping their baby safe and close at night. To find a way to love co-sleeping, and to do it with confidence.

Sign up for Tiffany’s mailing list at cosleepy.com for co-sleeping support, encouragement, and motivation straight to your inbox. You’ll have access to her favourite resources, giveaways, and personal updates on her family’s co-sleeping journey that she doesn’t share anywhere else.

You can find more information about Tiffany and Cosleepy here:

 cosleepy.com

instagram.com/cosleepy

https://cosleepy.com/welcome

Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing:

 llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven

 kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping

 cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines

Floor beds aren’t going to work for every family.

And they might not be the best bed for you.

But sometimes I do suggest using (or just considering!) a floor bed, because there are lots of benefits, for both you and your Small!

Join me and Sian Aldis in this podcast episode, and we’ll talk you through: 

What is a floor bed?

Who are floor beds for?

What age can you use a floor bed from?

 What are the benefits of using a floor bed?

How can we make it a safer sleep space?

I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!  

Sian Aldis is an IBCLC and gentle sleep consultant. You can find more information about Sian and No Milk Like Mamas Here:

Website: nomilklikemamas.co.uk

Email: [email protected]

Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing: 

www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven

If you worry (a little or a lot!) you most certainly aren’t alone and I hope it reassures you to hear that it’s normal. Telling a parent not to worry is neither helpful or healthy. Worrying is a part of life for most of us at some point and what we try to resist just persists.

I will always listen to you and hold space for your worries to validate them. But I’m also here to reassure you too!

Tune into this episode to hear Kimberly Thomas AKA The New Mum Coach and myself discuss:

The worry Hour

Mindfulness

Self-Compassion and care

4 top tips to help you when you worry

When does worrying become a problem

And so much more!

You can find out more about Kimberly here:

thenewmumcoach.com

instagram.com/thenewmumcoach

Second time parents -

tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/503983/

Back to work -

tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/500940/

instagram.com/thenewmumcoach

Further resources:

Headspace

 headspace.com

 Calm

 calm.com

 Peanut

peanut-app.io

Panic pad

etsy.com/uk/listing/821942030/panic-pad-a4?ref=shop_home_active_4&crt=1

Myles has just turned 2 years old and is a little firecracker who has FOMO (fear of missing out) when it comes to sleep!

He’s really resisting going to sleep at bedtime and wakes frequently during the night. And often won’t settle until he’s in Mum’s bed which isn’t working for anyone now.

This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!

I’m never going to stop sharing the message that toddler’s find sleep tricky too.

And I want to reassure you that your toddler isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your toddler:

Isn’t sleeping through the night

 Is resisting going to sleep at bedtime

 Needs you or support to fall asleep

 Wakes up during the night  

 Won’t settle at night unless co-sleeping

However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.

 Join me and Myles’s Mum, Beckey for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:

Normal infant sleep at 2 years old

 The best bedtime for your toddler

 What do to if their bedtime is super late

 The 7 pm pressure

 Supporting them to settle to sleep independently

 Moving away from co-sleeping if they wake at night

 Myles’s sleep story at 2 years old

 Myles’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way.

Beckey and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!

Further resources:

 Biological best blog

 careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best

Bedtime boundaries Ecourse

 careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

Want to work together to improve your sleep the caring way?

You can find my current sleep services here:

careitout.com/sleep-service-prices

Baby Remi is 12 months old and going through big changes with his sleep. 

He slept through from around 7 months old until he recently started nursery and his sleep changed. 

He’s now finding it hard to settle to sleep at bedtime and frequently has a split night AKA parent party. This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!

I’m never going to stop sharing the message that infant sleep isn’t a straight line process because it’s a constant work in progress!

So I want to reassure you that your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby’s:

Sleep changes or hits the skids suddenly

Finding it harder to settle to sleep or needs more support to fall asleep

Having a parent party at night!

However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference. 

Join me and Remi’s Mum, Amy for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:

Normal infant sleep at 12 months old

Napping at nursery 

Different routine in different places

How an early bedtime can impact night sleep

Supporting them to settle to sleep independently 

Split nights AKA parent party

Remi’s sleep story at 12 months old

Remi’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way. 

Amy and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!

Further resources:

Parent party episode

www.careitout.com/podcast/ep-13-the-parent-party

Biological best blog

www.careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best

Bedtime boundaries Ecourse

www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

Want to work together to improve your sleep? You can find my current sleep services here:

www.careitout.com/sleep-service-prices

Baby Lucas is 6.5 months old and waking very frequently at night. He’s waking up and needing help to get back to sleep every 2 hours at the moment which understandably is causing everyone a sleepless night!

I’m never going to stop sharing the message that it’s totally normal, your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby is:

taking short naps at 6 months old

waking for a night feed (s) at 6 months old

not sleeping through the night at 6 months old

However, if their wake-ups are super frequent, unsustainable or simply not working for you, chances are there are some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.

Join me and Lucas’s Mum Emma for this consultation episode and we’ll talk through together:

Normal infant sleep at 6 months old

The six-month-old sleep switch

And the pressure to get sleep sorted by 6 months old

Baby eczema

Lucas’s sleep story at 6 months

Lucas’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep  

Emma and I had a great chat and I really hope you find it useful and reassuring too!

Links/further resources:

Dermatologist for paediatric eczema: skin55.co.uk/dr-rachael-morris-jones

Bedtime boundaries Ecourse: careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

Mona is a postnatal doula based in East London with two children aged four and two.

She is passionate about supporting and empowering parents during their fourth trimester period.

Planning for your new baby

Once parents find out that they are expecting, things like booking antenatal classes; reading parenting books; hypnobirthing courses; buying clothes and baby equipment; choosing colours for the nursery, are what parents usually consider.

My advice would be to plan for the postnatal period too, consider that you may need to hire a postnatal doula, lactation consultant, and/or a sleep consultant.

Support in the first few weeks

Support is essential in the first few weeks, whether you’re a first-time parent or second-time parent. Having an extra pair of hands to give you some down time and catch up on much-needed rest is invaluable. New-born babies are demanding, needing constant feeding, changing, and holding. If you are fortunate to have support from relatives, my advice would be to take it! But if not, having a postnatal doula is a great alternative. Parents are most likely to be sleep-deprived, the mother may find that she is doing the main bulk of night feeds, especially if she is breastfeeding. Having support means rest, having meals cooked, and chores seen to. 

Health visitors and midwives are there to check that mother and baby are doing well after birth. I will stress that it is important to get in touch with the midwife or health visitor if you have concerns about yourself or baby. 

Advice for new parents:

•        Make sure you have a support network

•        Try to get support lined up before baby arrives

•        Look after yourself. It's hard enough looking after a new baby, even harder if you’re not looked after yourself.

•        Let some things go

•        Accept help – let family, friends bring you food

•        Find time to relax

•        Have fun with your baby

•        Remember that nobody is perfect

We can offer support by listening to parents and giving guidance accordingly, and by being non-judgmental.

New Baby Resources.

There are so many useful resources that parents can turn to if needed if mother/birthing person may struggle with breastfeeding:

www.milkmakingmama.co.uk

www.laleche.org.uk

www.henry.org.uk

What I do and how a Postnatal doula works 

I support families in the fourth trimester, emotional support is the very foundation of what doulas provide. I offer practical and informational support, a listening ear for parents to air their concerns. I offer hands-on support, taking on the role of mothering the mother by preparing meals, offering snacks, and making sure the mother is well hydrated. I support mothers with breast and bottle feeding, where feeding may not be going well, I will signpost if necessary, to lactations consultants or breastfeeding counsellors. Some mothers may require a hands-on approach in the home to support older siblings, while they get to know their baby. I offer to help with light housework, such as loading the dishwasher and doing laundry.  Some mothers may just want to catch up on sleep and rest, this is where I would look after the baby/babies by taking care of their needs.

Postnatal doulas can be found on doula directories or usually word of mouth from friends. Once parents have decided to hire a postnatal doula, a postnatal planning session is set up. This is where the doula visits the family for the first time and the conversation may include things like getting to know the family, understanding the mother’s needs, talking about nutrition, recovery, and the sort of help that is required.

Why hire a Postnatal doula?

•        Extra pair of hands

•        A listening ear

•        Non-judgemental guidance

•        An extra shoulder to cry on

•       Help with Sleep deprivation

•        Nurturing and holding parents as they navigate the transitional experience of parenthood

•        Catching up on sleep and rest

•        Support with feeding

•        Taking the load off (chores and cooking)

•        Having tools and access to signposting 

Find out more about Mona and her services here: 

Instagram: @helpinghands.doula

helpinghandsdoula.co.uk