The Chat

The Monday Men cap off the Month of All Hallow's Eve by debriefing on their apocalypse plans, and also they talk about Halloween costumes and gorillas for like, half the ep.

The boys are really just out here dealing with zombies an' shid. They discuss zombie lore, why zombies can hear, how fast they should be, how to kill em and how to live with em. They come up with the most foolproof zombie apocalypse plan ever in history and Matt basically just wants Brad Pitt to be involved at all levels of it because he's only ever seen World War Z.

The Chat Presents: Riverdaily, Episode 2 (of Season 3). The boys giggle over Mad Dog, a football match, highschool politics and DnD (and assorted other pasttimes') Dungeons. If you didn't get scared by that weird Scout kid you are NOT A REAL RIVERDALE FAN.

The Bedroom Boys have a lark about weird "smart drinks", vegetarianism, being fat, spicy foods and high school, of course.

I The 2nd Horseman of the Apocalypse, Technologicon. He rides astride a steed of metal, with the dreaded symbol of Devastation upon its hind; the Apple of Eden marred with a circular, inhuman bite. On his breast is a tunic of black polycarbon, embroidered with the dark letters "Virtual Reality." In his hand he grips the brutal sword of progress, branded with faces of excruciating joy, and feces with human features. To gaze upon him is to witness doom, on a global scale. To see him is to fear.

The Bookhouse Boys (I remembered the Twin Peaks reference I forgot in the episode) review last week's Riverdale ep (the premier of season 3!!). They gleefully giggle about Cheryl, the Farm, and Jughead not taking his shirt off (spoilers). Also, this will spoil episode 1 so don't listen if you're trying to binge the whole season when it finishes (midway through 2019, ZING). 

This is going to be a regular thing, so let's see some love in the comments 😘

Late release Monday ep because Jacob is a slave to the capitalist system. The podsprouts discuss the horoscope, dont @ing me, wrestling and the NBA, of course.

I think my favourite apocalypse is from the famous anime Fist Of The North Star, where it's basically Mad Max but instead of worshipping cars or whatever, whoever has the best magic kung fu is the King. Also, we don't ever acknowledge that it's magical, even though guys' head's explode when the main character just touches them with his pinky. That's just normal in the post-apocalypse world; after all, it's all we've ever known. The old world has been forgotten. 

Also it would be pretty funny if the apocalypse happened for martial-arts-related reasons, like if Goku shot a massive kamehameha and it, like, actually had the environmental impacts that it's size implies.

Anyway, the boys talk about the doomsday clock and what would happen if the Earth flipped upside down.

The boys speculate about the upcoming season of Riverdale, and Jacob is blindisded by information both about season 3 and also season 1, and promptly forgets what happened in season 2. Matt is all too happy to help him out with various instagram fan account theories. They say there'll be a supernatural element to this season, but if it doesn't end with the Milkshake Gang taking the mask off of a relatively new, but prominent character dressed in a monster suit, I will be severely disappointed.

Rain. Smoke. Blood. 

Just another night on the beat. 

The body lay there, looking at me, dumbly. "Fuck, I'm dead, bro!" It seemed to say to me. I adjusted my fedora. I wasn't here to listen to complaints.

I cased the scene. Basketballs littered the alley like bullet cases. It didn't take Elon Musk to tell you what happened. The body's head was caved in like a person of indeterminate gender whose head had been caved in by a basketball. Couldn't tell what gender they were, but I sure as heck had my choice of murder weapons.

Just as I was inspecting a particularly bloody ball, lightning flashed and thunder crashed. There, in the light, was a man. No, a Thing. The Thing stared at me. I was puzzled. You usually didn't get Things this far into DC. More of a county thing. That's when it hit me. Killers, the really bad ones, have one weakness. They always return to the scene of the crime. 

"Hey!" I yelled. The Thing turned, lightning struck again. I saw the feet. The shaggy coat. The body of a man if it was being worn by a slightly smaller man. I cursed. How could I have been so blind? This wasn't any ordinary Thing. It was only freakin' Big Foot himself, AKA the Fade Away Feller. My gun was in my hand in a shaky flash. Too much damn whiskey down at the Old Hole. The leather was faster.

They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. The only thing I saw was one word. Spalding.

 

PS Jacob that’s kinda impressive bud. But tells no one anything about the episode