We decide between an NBA legend or Jack, who we would rather share a lollipop with, and more.

From paternal penis to promiscuity, or finding true love.

Finally, we dream of Californication.

Jay & Chris share their celeb encounter stories and compare the sounds of different snack bags.

From The Blue Man Group at a BBQ to Steve Carrell at Rally's.

Terrence Howard, we promise we promise to return your stereo (give us your actual address, please).

Robitussin.

Jay & Chris review headlines of holiday crimes and try to fill in the blanks.

From a cracked-out Santa to a ceramic squirrel.

Although Carl Jr. and Hardee may have cared, Dave Thomas definitely cared.

Jay & Chris discuss who smells the most like cigarettes, whose shit would they rather eat, AND what famous men's dicks look like.

From a competition of cigarette odors to beautiful women's shit and rapper's dicks.

We like men, but not their feet or their poop.

Jay & Chris discuss the bad qualities of good people and the good qualities of bad people.

From lavender lattes to turquoise women and soothing rain sounds for dogs.

We miss Souplantation - bring it back!

Alex Marcus is a bearded hash connoisseur who owns a pug and loves hard boiled eggs.

Camarillo Bathhouses to black bean hummus and more!

Chris doesn't believe the second "s" in couscous is not silent. We prove him wrong.

Billy Clapp is a legendarily endowed rock climber and the son of an actor who played a cop on TV.

Childhood memories to loud neighbors and more!

Fact Check: Apparently Jamie Lee Curtis was not born intersex and that's just an urban legend. Also, Alan Dean Foster IS a real person. My bad!