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Why does rest feel so wrong when God designed it for our good?

In this episode, I'm getting raw about my unhealthy relationship with rest and the breakdown that changed everything.

If you've ever felt guilty for taking a break or exhausted from performing even your faith, this one's for you.

In this episode, we talk about...

The lies we believe:

• "Rest is a luxury I can't afford"
• "If I rest, everything will fall apart"
• "I need to perform rest correctly"

The pivotal moments:

• Jasmine's shift from constant improvement to God's invitation to "dream, sit, and play"
• My fast food parking lot meltdown when God said "you've passed the test"
• Choosing resting over a Sunday service and finding God there

Why rest doesn't work when we do all the "right" activities:

• The heart shift vs. behavior change
• Sitting with uncomfortable emotions (guilt, shame, fear)
• How rest is where we actually get to know God

Plus practical reflection questions to uncover what's blocking your rest.

Key quotes:

"My worth has nothing to do with what I can produce. Rest does not take away from work."

"Rest and joy are tied together. You can't separate them."

"Fun is not childish, fun is childlike. God wants us to have childlike faith."

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

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If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “Why am I STILL struggling with this?” - this conversation is for you.

We open up about the heartbreak of feeling like we're back at square one in our healing process and the surprising ways God meets us there. We explore what real healing looks like when it’s messy, cyclical, and slower than we expected... and how the Holy Spirit gently leads us through the process with compassion, not condemnation.

During this episode, we unpack:

• The myth that healing should always be moving forward
• What to do when old coping tools stop working
• How to recognize growth even in the middle of triggers
• Why nervous system takes longer to heal than the mind
• How to reframe setbacks as God’s invitations to deeper freedom

This episode will help you breathe again, release the pressure to “get it right,” and recognize that you’re not failing. You're simply in the healing process.

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

🎁 Sign up for my FREE mini-course on how to process your emotions God's way - without shutting down or spiraling.

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Have you ever felt afraid that if you stopped doing... stopped reading your Bible, stopped serving, stopped performing... that God might love you a little less?
You’re not alone.

In this raw and honest conversation, we unpack the deep-rooted lie that love must be earned... a lie many of us first learned in childhood, and one that still shapes how we relate to God today. Together, we explore how trauma, performance, and perfectionism condition our brains to equate doing with being loved and how the gospel, neuroscience, and the gentle heart of Jesus invite us into something different.

We talk about:

• Why unworthiness feels “true” in your body (and how to gently rewire it)
• How spiritual disciplines can become performance and how to return to intimacy
• The science of neuroplasticity and renewing your mind in Christ
• What it means to rest in love that doesn’t have to be earned

If you’ve ever wondered, “Does God still love me if I don’t do X, Y, or Z?” this episode will meet you in that question and remind you that love was never something you had to earn.

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

🎁 Sign up for my FREE mini-course on how to process your emotions God's way - without shutting down or spiraling.

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What do you do when you love Jesus, show up for community, and still feel alone?In this episode, we talk about the loneliness no one wants to name - the ache of feeling unseen in a place that’s meant to feel like family.

We explore the paradox of being faithful yet still feeling forgotten, the ache of longing for connection that never quite lands, and the quiet grief of realizing that even in church, the very place meant for belonging, you can still feel alone.

Sometimes loneliness comes from unhealed places or misplaced hopes. Other times, it’s simply the ache of being human in a broken world... living in the “already but not yet” of God’s Kingdom where love is real but not yet whole.

Together, we’ll unpack:

• The difference between wounds that isolate you and the waiting that shapes you
• How to hold your heart open to people when it’s easier to shut down
• What it means to keep your faith alive when you still have unmet needs in community

If you’ve ever felt, “Why do I feel so alone here?”  this conversation is for you. You’re not faithless for feeling lonely. You’re simply human, longing for the home your heart was made for.

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

🎁 Sign up for my FREE mini-course on how to process your emotions God's way - without shutting down or spiraling.

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Have you ever walked into church, smiled, said “I’m fine,” and instantly felt the ache of pretending?

In this episode, Melissa and Jasmine unpack the hidden pressure many believers feel to appear “spiritually mature.” We explore how church culture can unintentionally reward masking - showing up polished, composed, and holy - when our souls are actually crying out for safety and connection.

You’ll hear honest reflections about:

• The loneliness that comes from feeling unseen, even in church.
• Why we equate vulnerability with weakness.
• How pretending keeps us disconnected from both God and others.
• Practical, grace-filled ways to begin unmasking, little by little, without losing your sense of safety.
• What it looks like to let others in when your heart is still in a tender season of healing.

This isn’t about church-bashing. It’s about healing the parts of us that learned to hide and remembering that God meets us most deeply when we’re real.

Reflection Questions:

1. When was the last time you said "I'm fine" but didn’t mean it?
2. What keeps you from being honest with your community or even with yourself?
3. What would “one small act of honesty” look like for you this week?

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

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The Real Truth About People Pleasing

Most people think people pleasing is just about being “too nice” or not wanting to disappoint others, but the truth runs much deeper. For many of us, people pleasing is actually a trauma response - what we psychologists call fawning. It’s how we learned to survive unsafe environments, and it often shows up in ways we don’t even recognize.

In this episode, I share:

• The deeper reasons behind people pleasing that go beyond what you might expect
• The barriers and fears that keep us stuck in these patterns (and what you might feel when you start saying no)
• Tangible ways to begin overcoming people pleasing with God’s help, so you can walk in true freedom

If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries, terrified of rejection, or unsure who you are apart from meeting others’ needs, this conversation's for you.

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

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“Am I too broken to be used by God?”
If you’re battling depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, navigating neurodivergence, or even just struggling to get through daily tasks, you’ve probably asked yourself that same question.

I’ve wrestled with it too... feeling like my weaknesses and struggles disqualified me from being useful in God’s Kingdom.

In this episode, I share my personal journey of striving, burnout, and reaching the end of myself. What I discovered is that God doesn’t ask us to perform or prove ourselves even when we’re well-intentioned in our desire to please Him, He takes our brokenness - the very things we want to hide - and redeems them as a stage for His glory.

If you’ve ever felt like your mental health struggles or weaknesses make you “too much” or “not enough” for God, this conversation will remind you of His power, His presence, and His ability to use your story for His glory. All it takes is your surrender to Him without shame.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why nothing can disqualify you from God’s purpose
• How striving to “be enough” can get in the way of God’s grace
• The beauty of crawling to God and watching Him work through weakness

This is… Real Emotions, Real Healing, Real Jesus.

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Many Christian women secretly wonder if their emotions are proof of weak faith - or even sin. In this episode, we unpack the truth about emotions: 

• Why God gave emotions to us
• How emotions can point us back to Him
• What it looks like to bring every feeling from joy to anger to sadness into His presence without shame

Join Melissa Chan, PhD, Christian Emotional Healing Coach, and her co-host Jasmine Barcia as they share biblical insights, personal stories, and practical steps to help you release guilt, embrace emotional honesty, and walk in deeper intimacy with Christ.

Your emotions don’t disqualify you. They’re an invitation to experience God’s love more fully.

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

🎁 Sign up for my FREE mini-course on how to process your emotions God's way - without shutting down or spiraling.

Send us a text

👉 Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes, and follow Melissa on Instagram @melchanity for more encouragement and resources!

🎁 Sign up for my FREE mini-course on how to process your emotions God's way - without shutting down or spiraling.