Hello and welcome to a very special edition of the Say What! Podcast, featuring the prestigious 2026 Cock Pageant Awards — joined by returning guest and man of the moment, Big Nose Neil.

As always, we dive straight into Thoughts of the Week, tackling the real issues — like the best foods for warming your hands and just how long the human body can survive on urine alone. Educational… in our own way.

Big Nose Neil then takes centre stage as he constructs his ultimate woman using nothing but everyday shopping items, while also revealing a slightly concerning passion for lamb breasts. Make of that what you will.

Things take a turn during the Cock Pageant itself, when Big Pappa J and The Notorious FA-TT lock eyes and share what can only be described as one of the most unexpectedly beautiful moments ever captured on the airwaves ❤️❤️❤️

We wrap things up in style with a Star Wars–themed nightclub, somehow rope Henry Cavill into the mix, and uncover exactly what Big Pappa J would do if he had a fifth hand. (Spoiler: nothing sensible.)

So sit back, lower your expectations, and enjoy the chaos.